


Closing Time

by surveycorpsjean



Category: Compilation of Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Fluff, Getting Together, Light Angst, M/M, Sexual Content, past bad relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 02:54:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 49,669
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24027733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/surveycorpsjean/pseuds/surveycorpsjean
Summary: The same customer buys coffee every day right before closing, and Cloud absolutely hates his guts.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Cloud Strife
Comments: 419
Kudos: 1711
Collections: Comfort food





	1. Chapter 1

“If one more person jacks all our napkins, I’m going to take a whisk and shove it up their ass,” Tifa says.

“That doesn’t sound like very good customer service.”

Cloud can see her response without looking up. Hand through hair, deep sigh, clenched fist. She jams more napkins in the holder and clips, “Believe it or not, I don’t pay you to sit around and look pretty.”

Cloud’s head bobs off his palm as he says, “I cleaned the bathrooms today. I could walk out the door right now and you would _owe_ me money.”

Tifa makes a face.

“Yeah, alright. Did you do prep for tomorrow’s pastries? Vincent is coming in early.”

“Yup. All done.”

“Sweet.” Tifa slaps the napkin holder shut with her elbow and begins to break down the empty cardboard box. “I have a hot date tonight and I wanna’ _bounce._ ”

Cloud yawns, “You know Aerith will wait for you.”

“Good sex waits for no one, Cloud.”

“So I’ve been told.”

The doorchime jingles. Both of them startle upright, having grown used to a routinely empty café thirty minutes before closing. Cloud checks his watch and scowls. Three minutes, actually.

The man steps a foot in, and freezes with his hand on the door. “Oh my god, are you guys still open?”

The temptation to say _no_ is way too strong. Cloud opens his mouth, but Tifa grins, tucking the broken-down box under her arm as she passes into the breakroom.

“Of course! Welcome!”

Cloud sighs.

“Thank the gods,” the customer prays, and approaches the counter with his hands in his pockets. “I thought I was going to have to suffer through gas station coffee.” He’s so obviously a frat boy from the college down the street, it makes Cloud want to cringe.

“A tragedy,” Cloud says.

The approaching sunset cuts in across the café in warm pink and orange stripes. It bounces off the countertops, and it makes Cloud squint as the man looks up at their menu with all the time in the world.

“I know, right? I lost track of time and had to search moogle like mad. Shit, I didn’t even know you guys were tucked back here. You need a sign, or something.”

Oh my god, go away.

“Mm,” Cloud replies eloquently. He does not bother to offer their special of the day because quite frankly, he doesn’t want to get all the different creams out.

Nose still up at the menu, the man rolls back and forth on his heels. “Could I just get a double shot? A regular is fine. Unless you skimp on the espresso, then maybe a large is better. Hm…yeah, yeah. Large please!”

Cloud blinks, hard. He glances at the clock on the corner of his register, and back to the customer. He’s not supposed to _‘question the structural integrity of our customer’s orders’,_ but…

“At seven at night?”

This guy laughs way too bubbly. “Well hey, it’s morning somewhere, yeah? I have a – _holy_ shit!”

Cloud almost startles, _almost._ He looks over his shoulder to see if Tifa is walking around in one of those scary walnut facemasks – but he can still hear her rummaging around in the storeroom, so no. Cloud looks back to the customer, and he’s all wide-eyed and frozen in place. Cloud’s hackles raise.

“What?”

“Woah…” The guy takes off his baseball cap, and dark hair springs up wily. Big blue puppy eyes shine over, and his dude-bro voice drops into something almost reverent. “I’m sorry – but you’re like, super beautiful, dude.”

Cloud blinks rapidly.

_What?_

A maroon _MU_ shirt, striped socks and ripoff Gucci slides; this guy is the picture-perfect photo of an asshole that would hit up Tifa on the regular. Cloud is used to beating off dicks with a bat, but this is definitely new.

Cloud hits enter on the register.

“Four twenty-five.”

“Hi, I’m Zack,” he says, leaning over to read Cloud’s nametag. “ _Cloooud._ Are you single?” Cloud narrows his eyes, and Zack throws up his hands, “Shit, my bad, shoulda known. There’s no way you aren’t taken already. You are _mad_ pretty though, for real. I can’t believe I haven’t heard about you by now, the whole campus would be lining up by the block.”

“Four dollars, twenty-five cents,” Cloud repeats. “Cash or card?”

Zack mumbles, _shit, shit sorry,_ and fumbles for his wallet. He’s kind of clumsy for a frathead. He actually looks to a be a bit older than the usual college crowd. What a weirdo.

He hands over a credit card, and Cloud snatches it. He looks it over, and then extends a hand. “ID?”

Zack gives him his driver’s license, and Cloud skims the name and birthdate. A star in the corner catches his eye.

“So like, um,” Zack leans his arm on the counter. “Single? Not single? Cute place you’ve got here, come by often? I like your apron.”

Cloud’s eye twitches. He hands back his ID, and ignores him, saying, “I’m supposed to give you a military discount.”

Zack stares at his card, and looks back up to Cloud like a moron.

“Oh, really?”

Cloud types into the computer and runs his card.

“Four bucks even. You saved twenty-five cents today, congrats.”

“Are you a natural blonde?” Moron asks.

_Is this guy seriously in the military?_

Patience long gone, Cloud slaps his receipt on the counter, snatches a large cup off the rack and shoulders past Tifa and into the back room.

Tifa looks between Cloud and the customer, and snirks a laugh, popping her hip on the counter.

“Hate to break it to you, but you won’t get very far with him.”

Zack sighs wistfully and slides his baseball cap on backwards.

“Doesn’t swing that way?”

“He doesn’t swing _any_ way. That door is bolted shut, my friend.”

“Hm. I’ve got a wrench under my bike seat.”

Cloud’s voice is muffled from the back room; _“I heard that!”_

“You’re Zack, right? Does Aerith know you’re back in town?” 

“Ah, I was only discharged a few months ago. The government is covering my school, I think I texted Aerith about it but I didn’t want to stir up anything. I’ve seen all the Instagram pictures, you two are mad cute.”

“Aw,” Tifa smiles. “She still thinks of you as a good friend, you know.”

Cloud pauses, and elbows open the door with a scowl.

“Wait. You know this guy?”

“Not really,” Tifa shrugs. “This was Aerith’s old highschool sweetheart before I converted her to the supreme church of lesbianism.”

Zack cackles and says, “We’re mutuals on insta.”

 _Greeeeat._ Cloud sets the coffee on the counter with too much force.

“Double espresso. Have a nice day bye.”

Tifa ignores him, “You should really stop by. Aerith still talks about you all the time.”

Zack lifts an eyebrow and laughs, “You’re not threatened at all, are you?”

“Ha!!!!! Don’t make me laugh.”

Zack snickers, and grabs his coffee, rubbing over his heart with his free hand.

“Ouch. I didn’t know my ego was going to take such a pounding today.”

“Then don’t hit on my employees,” Tifa teases. “Especially the shy ones.”

Cloud squints. Tifa is having way too much fun with this.

“You should really make this your shtick,” Zack says. “Change the shop name to _Hot Babes and Coffee Emporium_ or something.”

“Oh yeah, that rolls off the tongue,” Cloud huffs. 

Tifa tosses a rag at Cloud, and he catches it, reluctantly turning to clean the counters. She smiles at Zack, “Sorry, _Seventh Heaven_ is a family name.”

Cloud can feel Zack watching him, even as he replies to Tifa, “I get it. Do you guys get good business back here?”

Tifa deflates a little. She runs her fingers against the countertop, and smiles sadly, “Not really. This place used to be a hit when I was a kid, but new developments kept popping up, and we got boxed in and forgotten about.”

Cloud pauses his scrubbing. He stares at his hands, and pushes down the hole in his chest. He hates that defeated tone in Tifa’s voice. He’d do pretty much anything to never hear it again, maybe even work shitty customer service as a barista.

“We keep busy…” Cloud tries. Tifa looks at him with a sad smile.

“You don’t keep the books, bud.”

“Shit, that’s a shame.” Zack takes a swig of his coffee, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. “I’ll spread the news around campus. Kids’ll go after a cheaper coffee than Starbucks.”

“Higher _quality_ too!” Tifa barks.

“Right!” Zack winks. “I won’t forget to mention the pretty baristas.” Cloud gives a glare that could kill, and Zack knocks back the rest of his espresso and dumps the cup in the trash. “Or maybe not, haha! If I bring in a thousand customers, will you go on a date with me?”

“In your dreams, maybe.”

“Of course he will,” Tifa answers. Cloud flings the rag back, and Tifa catches it easy.

“Thanks for the coffee, gorgeous!” Zack waves. “I’ll be in touch with Aerith.”

“Thanks for stopping by!” Tifa waves. When the door clings shut, she locks it behind him and looks in the trash. “Oh my fucking god. That’s going to stop his heart.”

“We can only be so lucky.”

“Do you have to be such a hardass all the time? He’s pretty hot, objectively.”

“Pretty stupid, maybe,” Cloud says, popping the register to close out his drawer _again._ “You know he was just fucking with me.”

“I don’t know…not everyone in the world is such a bad guy, Cloud.”

He finds that hard to believe. Cloud prints the last receipt, clocks out, and hangs his apron on the hook.

* * *

He meets Barret at the gym.

“You’re late,” Barret says, deadlifting a rack with one arm.

“Some asshole walked in two minutes before closing,” Cloud replies, setting his gym bag on the floor. There is a group gathered to make a spectacle of Barret like usual, and they start to disperse as Cloud approaches.

“I woulda’ shut the door on ‘em,” Barret says.

“I wanted to. But you know Tifa needs the money right now.”

“Shit, we all do,” Barret grunts, setting the weights back on the bar. He sits up off the bench and works at the sore spot around his prosthetic. “You ready for leg day?”

“Ugh.”

“C’mon man, no skipping. Can’t have you running around with spindly little chicken legs.”

“Oh ha-ha. I’ll out-squat you any day.”

Barret slaps him between the shoulder-blades, and it nearly winds him.

“You don’t stand chance, but that’s the spirit I’m looking for!”

Cloud met Barret when he was fresh out of highschool. He started hitting up the gym to feel like he had a little more control in his life, and Barret had been, uh, horrified by his lack of experience. Even ten years his senior, Cloud would say they’re friends. If not, then it sucks to be Barret, because Cloud has never paid him a dime.

Barret has seen him drop out of college, couch surf all over town and dabble in things he probably shouldn’t – and he was also the one to pick Cloud up by the back of the neck, dust him off and hand him back to Tifa, saying, _give him a damn job._

“Alright, I’m starting you off at fifty,” Barret says, changing out the weights on the bar. “ _Full_ squats, Strife. If I see you cheatin’ out on me then you’re buying dinner.”

“I’m not buying _shit,_ ” Cloud grunts, pressing his hands to the floor as he stretches. “Marlene eats more than you do.”

“I know,” Barret grins proudly. “Cause that’s my babygirl, I tell you.”

* * *

Cloud returns to his apartment, and realizes that this too has become routine. It’s habit by now; flick on the lights, splash the rest of his gym waterbottle on the cactus Aerith gave him last Christmas, and kick off his shoes by the door.

He stretches his sore muscles as he bumps the kitchen lights on. It’s empty, small and quiet, besides the lady that likes to vacuum at three am, but it’s _his_ apartment, his shitty neighbors, his stupid cactus. For a while, he couldn’t say any of that.

Cloud pulls the nametag off his shirt, pins it to the fridge, and crashes on the couch.

* * *

Wedge calls in sick for the rest of the week. He went on and on about small pox or the black plague or dying of syphilis something. Tifa asks him to help cover some shifts, so Cloud ends up working a few ten-hour days. It’s normally whatever, but this week has been strangely busier than usual.

“Iced Mocha no whip,” Cloud reads, sliding it on the counter. A teenager thanks him and leaves the café with her friends. Cloud passes by Tifa to change out his gloves, and she slaps a label on a fresh cup and sets it at the backbar.

“Small Americano!”

“Got it.”

“Also can you eighty-six the cinnamon rolls? I’m out of glaze.”

Cloud grabs the eraser and leans up to wipe _Sin-A-Roll_ off the chalk board. They’re able to work through the rush, and Cloud isn’t exactly ecstatic, but Tifa seems to be extra peppy today, so he keeps his mouth shut.

“Oh man,” Tifa grins, wiping her hands off on her apron. “What a day, huh? Are you alright closing by yourself?”

Cloud rolls his eyes and works at cleaning the counter.

“It’s fine. It’ll be dead for the next hour anyways.”

“Right. Are you still coming over for movie night this weekend?”

“Not if Wedge keeps calling out.”

“He has a _cold._ I think he will live.”

“Get out of here before Aerith starts calling me,” Cloud says lightly. Tifa hangs up her apron and fires a finger gun.

“You’re the best.”

“Whatever.”

She fiddles around in the storage room before grabbing her purse and jogging out the front door. Cloud immediately steps into the backroom and turns off the indie coffee house music he’s been listening to on repeat since eight this morning.

It’s easier to work through the evening routine in silence. He swiffers the floors and wipes down the tables and cleans out the pastry window, and when all that is done, he drags in the sign from out front and wipes the chalkboard clean.

He won’t admit it to anyone, but Cloud likes that Tifa lets him draw on the welcome sign. Tifa says he’s _talented_ but Cloud just likes doing something different with his hands for a few minutes.

Cloud double checks that the café is empty before he lays the sign on the counter and starts to draw a human-shape. He writes the special of the day, and outlines a pinup-style angel around the words in a colored chalk.

The door chimes, and Cloud briefly closes his eyes against the annoyance.

“Welcome,” he grits.

“Hey gorgeous! You guys still open?”

_Oh no, not you again._

Cloud looks down to his watch, and back up at Zack in the doorway. Tifa isn’t here to play referee, so Cloud sighs impatiently, “You have three minutes.”

“Sweet!” Zack approaches the counter, and Cloud tries to slide the sign off as quickly as possible. Zack immediately comments on it. “Whatcha’ working on? Are you the one that draws the chalkboard? You have _crazy_ good handwriting, my buds always complain because my class notes look like chicken scratch.”

“Can I help you?” Cloud asks on autopilot.

“Oh yeah, hold on.” Zack looks up at the menu, and Cloud takes notice of his clothes again. He looks like he’s been rolling around in dirt, and Cloud mourns having to mop the floors again. Zack reaches back for his wallet and says, “I’ll take a hot blonde, please!”

It takes Cloud way too long to realize that he’s talking about one of Tifa’s stupid coffee names. The urge to strangle him does not go away.

“Size?” Cloud grits.

“Large. Oh, and can you make it strong?”

Cloud reluctantly rings up his order. “Four seventy-six.”

Zack blinks dumbly for a moment, before the lightbulb goes off.

“Oh! You remembered my discount. Thanks dude.” He passes over cash this time, and Cloud starts to count out change in his head. “I like the apron today. Pink looks good on you.”

Cloud looks down and up, and doesn’t even bother trying to be nice anymore.

“Twenty-four cents is your change,” he says, and slaps it on the counter. He starts to brew the drink, and Zack laughs, totally unphased.

“Sorry. I know I’m pissing you off, but you’re really cute when you’re mad. How many cheesy lines do I need to go through until I get your number?”

“None.”

“I lost my number, can I have yours?” Zack tries. “Do you like raisins? How do you feel about a date? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put _U_ and _I_ together.”

“How about _N_ and _O,_ ” Cloud says, adding syrup to the coffee.

“Funny. I bet you get hit on a lot here, huh?” 

“Not really.”

Cloud sets down the finished drink, and Zack takes it with a _thanks._

“That’s kind of a shame – oh, this is good! Was it busier this week? I told some friends to try this place out, and I want to know if they lied to me.”

Cloud pushes down the _sorry we’re closed now_ on the tip of his tongue, only because Tifa looked so happy today.

“Yeah,” Cloud says. “It was.”

Zack lights up like a Christmas tree, a big stupid grin all over his face. He’s dressed without the hat today, and wisps of his hair hang in his face, and he doesn’t _act_ four years older at all. Cloud hates that he remembers the birthday on his ID.

“That’s great, my friends aren’t liars after all.” Zack sips, “Hey, my roommate is playing in the MU game this weekend, and I’m going with a bunch of people. You interested?”

“No thanks,” Cloud says dryly.

“Sure,” Zack shrugs. “Thanks for the coffee. Have a good weekend, okay?”

Cloud doesn’t reply. He’s already getting out the mop to cover up the greasy footprints on the floor.

There is more money in the tip jar than Cloud was expecting. 

* * *

“Boy, why the hell you late _again,_ ” Barret drills into him, knuckles digging at his scalp.

“I got held up!” Cloud barks, trying to batt him off.

“We doin’ extra pushups now, kid. Imma’ sit on your back if you don’t hop to it.”

_Ugh._

“I heard that!”

“I didn’t even say anything!”

* * *

Flick on the lights, water the cactus, kick off the shoes. Nametag on fridge, crash on the couch before he even makes it to his room.

* * *

“Not you again,” Cloud sighs.

“Wow, I feel so welcome!” Zack grins. “You’re really great at customer service, Cloud.”

“You’re not funny.”

“ _I_ think I’m pretty funny.”

“What do you want?”

“Hmmm,” Zack skims the menu, and points at the chalkboard. “Can I get your number?”

“We’re all out,” Cloud deadpans.

“Damn, that’s a shame. I guess I’ll get a _Send Me Packin’._ ”

Cloud lifts an eyebrow.

“There is a _lot_ of sugar in that. You’ll be up all night.”

“Oh, that’s even better, I’m going to need it.”

Cloud takes in his generally cherry demeanor, and rings up the register with a blank expression.

“That’s hard to believe.”

“Midterms are kicking my butt,” Zack sighs. “Are you in school?”

“No,” Cloud says, and then cringes, because he’s now told Zack something about his personal life.

“I see. I was never any good at studying. I’m better at _using my head_ rather than uh, _using_ my head, you know?”

Cloud looks at him humorlessly and slides a quarter across the counter.

“Your change.”

“Thanks, beautiful.”

“ _Stop_ calling me that,” Cloud snaps. Zack raises his hands in a show of surrender.

“Sorry, my B.”

Cloud turns his back, and forcefully squirts syrup in a cup.

“If you’re doing this for a bet, then fuck off and tell your friends that you’ve lost. You won’t win me.”

Zack goes silent. Cloud finishes up the drink with whipped cream and snaps a lid on top. When he turns back around to set down the coffee, Zack is looking at him with a wounded look in his eyes.

“Wait…you think I’m hitting on you for a bet?”

Cloud rolls his eyes. “Sorry, but I’m not stupid. It’s painfully obvious that you’re fucking with me.” He hates to phrase it this way, but Zack is in an entirely different league than Cloud.

Zack frowns like he’s being faced with a particularly tough math problem.

“Has that happened before?”

Cloud’s patience is on the red line.

“Can I help you with anything else, _sir._ ”

“If you’re just not interested, that’s fine,” Zack says, oddly serious. “But I won’t let you think I’m trying to make a joke out of you. I’ll be back, I promise.”

“Don’t bother,” Cloud tells him. But the door chimes, and Cloud is left scowling at his own reflection in the store window.

* * *

“I want you to put me on the opening shift,” Cloud says when Tifa opens her door. 

“You _hate_ opening shifts,” Tifa recalls. Cloud offers a bottle of vodka and Tifa sets it on the counter.

“I’ve had a change of heart.”

The apartment smells like popcorn, and chasers are already lined up on the countertop. It feels like there are even more houseplants than usual. Aerith comes bouncing around the corner and hugs him.

“Cloud! I’m so happy you could make it!”

Cloud pats her back once, “Mm.”

Tifa gives him a skeptical look and locks the door.

“Okay, nice try, but I know you’re trying to avoid Zack. And you see, normally I wouldn’t tolerate anyone speaking to my employees that way, but I genuinely think you’re being a hardass about this. He’s _hot,_ Cloud.”

“If he shows up before closing one more time, I’m going to lock the door in his face,” Cloud says.

“Aww, come on,” Aerith whines, swinging off his shoulders. “I really, really think you two would get along. I met up with Zack for lunch last week and he’s _such_ a different person now. I mean, he’s still like a bag of poprocks, but he has matured a lot.”

Cloud stares, “ _That_ is mature?”

“I just think you should reach outside your comfort zone a little bit,” Tifa says.

“You always say that.”

“And I’m always right.”

The doorbell rings, and Tifa reaches back to swing it open. Barret steps through, Jessie and Biggs on his heels.

“Who’s ready for Hennessey and cheese puffs?!” Barret shouts.

“Oh, the Shit Your Pants cocktail,” Tifa replies. “A personal favorite.”

“I brought Donnie Darko and Tank Girl,” Biggs lifts up two DVD cases. “Take your pick.”

“Ugh,” Cloud groans.

“Shut up. You like spaghetti westerns so your opinion is invalid.”

Cloud throws up his hands in a _whatever, I’m not emotionally invested in this_ kind of way, and Tifa’s apartment fills up with more people. Cloud wouldn’t say he’s necessarily relaxed, but it _is_ nice to sit around and drink and zone out to nonsense conversations. His feet hurt, but the pay will be worth it, and Cloud really needs to find a way to get Vincent to switch shifts with him, because the thought of seeing Zack again makes him feel…weird. And Cloud doesn’t like that at all.

* * *

On Monday, Zack shows up an hour before closing. Cloud is almost impressed, until he sees half the football team behind him.

“Hey Cloud, hey Tifa!” Zack waves. “I brought some friends. You mind if we sit around and study for a bit?”

“Wow,” Tifa straightens. “Not at all!”

“Oh shit, they’ve got coffee cake.”

Cloud stands coldly at the register as a line begins to form. Tifa bolts around to fill up the pastry window, and the café is suddenly bursting with life and chatter _._ Cloud cuts a killing glare in Zack’s direction, and he is unphased.

“I’ll tell them not to leave a mess,” Zack says, like that means anything. “This is Roche, Genesis, Weiss – HEY RENO! WAVE! Yeah that’s Reno. Rude hangs out sometimes ‘cause we’re the same age, but he’s going for a masters or something stupid. _Hey Kunsel_ don’t touch the glass with your hands, dude!”

Cloud’s temple throbs.

“Can I get a large mocha frap and a brioche and a toasted bagel?” Kunsel lists. Cloud’s temple throbs further. Tifa can read the stress in his shoulders, and she slaps him on the back.

“Start ringing and I’ll do drinks.”

It takes them a good twenty minutes to work through the sudden rush of orders. Zack settles at one of the booths, squished in with his friends, and Cloud is secretly relieved that nobody complains about the wait, because Cloud wouldn’t have the patience for that shit tonight.

“Gods in heaven,” Tifa curses, taking off her gloves and rubbing her forehead with her arm. “That was a lot, huh? Thanks for the help.”

Cloud wants to be annoyed, but he eyes the stuffed tip jar and frowns. Tch.

“Go take a break,” Cloud says. “I’ve got the front.”

“Are you sure?”

Cloud knows that Tifa opened the cafe today, and she’s looking a little haggard, so Cloud waves her off.

“It’s fine.”

She gives him a grateful smile, bumps his fist under the counter, and works at pinning up her hair as she hip checks the door open. Cloud turns back around, and Zack is standing at the counter. Cloud doesn’t react.

“I like what you did to your hair today,” Zack greets. Cloud resists the urge to pull out the scrunchie holding back his bangs.

“Was this your attempt at negating the bet?”

“Yeah, did it work?”

“No.”

“C’mon man! I mean – okay, they’re kinda’ assholes but, not for what you think. If I was _really_ interested in someone I’d never bring them around my friends.”

Cloud lifts an eyebrow, “Why?”

The red-haired guy with the rattail sneaks up and wraps his arm around Zack’s shoulders; Zack doesn’t budge from the added weight.

“Ooooh, what’s this? Is _Zacky Wacky_ trying to hit up a cute barista? You should know he drools in his sleep.”

Zack sighs, closing his eyes. “That’s why.”

Cloud keeps the amusement out of his voice, and looks to Reno. “Is that right?”

“Yup, like a big baby. He also pisses in empty bottles when he’s blackout drunk _and_ he uses three-in-one shampoo.”

“Now that’s a crime.”

Zack raises a hand, “Okay, _A,_ pissing in a bottle is better than pissing the bed and _B,_ Head and Shoulders is cost efficient, okay?”

Cloud lifts both eyebrows, and Reno starts to cackle.

“I can’t believe you spent four years in the military, dude.”

“I can kind of believe it,” Cloud says. He’s heard rumors about barrack life. Zack blinks at him puppy-like, which makes Cloud want to eat his words. They don’t look like eyes that have seen war.

One of the guys at the booth hollers over.

“Hey Reno! Get over here and pull your weight or I’m not letting you copy my lab notes.”

“Fine, fine,” Reno sighs. He slaps Zack on the shoulder. “This guy is a total weirdo, but he’s got a big dick, so, it’s a fair tradeoff.” Zack gives him a bewildered look, and Reno finger-guns. “Don’t say I never did nothing for ya’, bro!”

Zack sighs.

“Thanks.”

A moment of silence passes. Zack doesn’t look embarrassed, but he does look a little sheepish.

“So…”

Cloud crosses his arms.

“Okay, I believe you.”

Zack lights up. “Really! So you’ll go on a date with me?”

“No.”

Zack doesn’t get upset like Cloud might expect him to. But truthfully, he never does.

“Okay! Tell Tifa the coffee was great. I’ll make sure everyone is rounded up and out the door before closing.”

That doesn’t help a damn if Cloud still has to stay an hour late _cleaning,_ but he doesn’t say that. He should. But he doesn’t.

When the sun is setting and the café is empty again, Zack waves goodbye through the glass and mouths _goodnight, beautiful,_ and Cloud flips the _closed_ sign too forcefully.

* * *

Vincent texts him asking if he would switch shifts on Tuesday, and it feels like a present from the gods. Cloud has never been so happy to take an opening shift.

The day goes slowly and without a hitch. Some customers are needy, others are annoying, but the sky is blue and fire is hot so Cloud brushes it off. Unfortunately, it jumbles up his usual routine, and Cloud ends up at the gym hours before he would usually.

It’s quiet. He finds himself slacking without Barret yelling down his neck, but it’s a lazy end to a lazy day, so whatever. He works up a good enough sweat on the weights, does reps at the squat bar and figures he’ll shower at home.

Cloud is digging for his keys in the parking lot when a second bike rolls up at the motorcycle line. Cloud hooks his bag on his bike and doesn’t hear someone calling his name until the other engine cuts.

_“-oud! Cloud!”_

Cloud turns, and closes his eyes in frustration.

_God dammit._

“Hey man,” Zack greets, swinging his leg off a black Harley. “So that _was_ your bike parked outside the café! That paint job is super sick, I love the blue shimmer. Do you lift here, too?”

Cloud gestures to his soaked shirt, and says curtly, “I’m leaving.”

Zack looks down and up. Cloud knows he brought that on himself, but something less bubbly and more _hungry_ crosses Zack’s face in a short moment. It’s gone quick, but it leaves his chest feeling hot. Zack clears his throat.

“Oh, cool. I take it you won’t be at Seventh Heaven tonight?”

“No. I opened today.”

“Ah, gotcha’,” Zack salutes. “Well, let me know if you need anyone to spot you.”

“I _don’t,_ ” Cloud snaps.

“Cool cool cool,” Zack repeats. Cloud watches his gaze drop down again, but this time he’s checking out the custom paint on his supersport. “You know, I work part-time as a mechanic. You’ve got sick paint with old frame sliders, some mods would look dope on that baby.”

Cloud resists a comment about Zack’s bike, because really, it’s a very gorgeous motorcycle. Cloud slides into the seat and flips the kickstand.

“I’m good, thanks.”

Zack looks at him hazily for a moment, but breaks himself out of it. He shrugs nonchalantly, “Whatever you say.”

Something weird is in the air. Zack is wearing a muscle shirt and track pants, and he’s got his hair tied up, and he looks so _douchey_ all the time, that Cloud is not surprised by strong arms and thick muscle under his college sweatshirts.

However, Cloud wasn’t expecting Zack to ride such a sexy bike. 

That strange electricity is still buzzing between them. Zack is staring at him, and for whatever reason, Cloud is pressed to mumble, “Goodbye.” 

Zack smiles at him, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Feeling uncharacteristically flustered, Cloud revs his engine and speeds out of the parking lot. He is so much in his head, that he narrowly misses slowing down before the cop parked on the end of the block.

* * *

Lights, cactus, shoes. Cloud misses pinning his nametag to the fridge, and it slides down the side with an irritating _shhh-clink._

Cloud sighs, and presses his forehead against the fridge.

_Stop it. You don’t need anyone._

* * *

Zack keeps coming by the cafe. Again, again, again. Not always alone, but always infuriatingly close to their closing time, and yet Cloud can never bring himself to chase him off. Tifa seems to like him, be it because of Aerith or not, so she certainly won’t be the one to do it.

It has been an excruciatingly long week when Zack stops by on Friday. The whole day was hellish and tiring and Cloud has little patience when Zack comes jingling through a few minutes before closing. Cloud doesn’t even want to hit the gym. He just wants to pack up and go _home._

“We’re closed,” Cloud says, because Tifa has left already and he can get away with it.

Zack flirts like always, “Aww, come on. Just a quick cup, you’re not going to make me drink gas station coffee, are you?”

Cloud sighs irritably. Zack smiles and saunters up to the counter.

“Double shot?”

“Please and thank you.”

Cloud starts ringing him up, and like usual, Zack starts running his mouth.

“I like the sign today! I can’t believe you draw that freehand. I mean, I like working with my hands, but I can’t draw for shit.”

“Mn.”

Cloud swipes his card, types in his discount, and hands it back on autopilot.

“I really wish you’d let me get my hands on that bike of yours. Oh baby, I’d have her _purring_ for you.” Zack whistles, “I love babes on bikes, you really are my type. We should go for a drive someday.”

Cloud bites his tongue, and focuses on making his final drink of the day.

_One more. Just one more._

“I asked Aerith for your number, but she said I have to put the work in myself.” Zack rubs the back of his head. “I have to say, you’re a tough one. I know I should’ve given up by now, but I just can’t stop thinking about you.”

Time seems to slow down. Cloud pauses with his back turned. His eyes glaze over on the cup he’s pouring, like his brain has been plucked clean out of his body.

Zack’s voice is genuine. No jokes or games, he sounds...defeated.

“I don’t know what it is. You’re such a tough guy, but I know you care a lot about this place. Tifa, too.” Zack keeps going, as if he’s talking to himself. “You work so seriously, like every cup of coffee is important.” Zack laughs shallowly, “Even if you’re making it for me.”

Cloud lets go of the cup as if burned. There is a horrible flip in his stomach, a sickly feeling he hasn’t felt for a long time.

_No._

“Man, you’re beautiful,” Zack says, like discussing the weather. “I don’t even know if you hear me when I say it.”

Zack talks like he believes every word he’s saying. It’s with the confidence of a man who would preach from the rooftops, and Cloud feels like he’s going to vibrate apart.

The plastic lid sounds too loud when Cloud snaps it on. He turns robotically, stiff as if teetering on a tightrope. Zack grabs the coffee and pushes him over the edge.

“Thanks, gorgeous.”

His heart flutters.

Cloud slams his hands on the counter with a loud _bam!_ Zack stiffens, and Cloud’s entire body coils and sizzles and _brims over_ in anger.

His voice cracks, like it’s forgotten how to yell. 

“Don’t _call me that!”_

Zack’s eyes are wide in surprise. Cloud feels like he’s falling apart at the seams. His stomach is rolling, summersaulting and plummeting to his feet, and the hurt look on Zack’s face makes it worse.

“Cloud –”

“I won’t play this game with you anymore,” Cloud grits. “I will _never_ give you my phone number, I will _never_ go on a date with you, and I will _never_ like you, so fucking _get over it!”_

Zack doesn’t deflate, doesn’t shrink away or cower. His shoulders square instead, like he’s taking a beating from a superior officer.

“Right,” Zack says. “I’m sorry.”

“Get out.”

Zack turns on his heel and leaves, just like that.

* * *

Zack does not come by the café anymore. Tifa doesn’t mention it, doesn’t even bring up Zack’s name, and something tells Cloud that Aerith is involved with that.

Closing is quiet and easy again. Sometimes Tifa stays until seven, sometimes she dips a few minutes early. They keep a steady flow of customers, but it is always empty during the last half hour of the day.

Cloud keeps watching the door. After a whole month of Zack stopping by every day, Cloud didn’t realize that it had become _habit_ to watch for him. He gets angry each time he catches himself doing it, and busies himself with other crap just to get his mind off him.

“Cloud?”

He looks up.

“Hm?”

Tifa adjusts her shoulder bag, “I’m leaving.”

“Oh. Okay.”

Tifa hovers by the edge of the counter. She watches him for a moment, and then presses in a tone that might be gentle, “Cloud, are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You’re just…” Tifa scratches her nose. “You know what, nevermind. I’ll see you for movie night tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

Tifa frowns, but lets it go. The rest of the evening goes by quietly. Sort of.

“Alright, you’re done here,” Barret says, lifting the bar out of his hands.

“Huh, what?” Cloud flounders, a little thrown by the weight shift. They’ve only been going at it for half an hour, and Cloud has barely worked up a sweat.

“You’re distracted, man. I can’t letcha’ break something just because your head ain’t in the game.”

“I’m not distracted.”

“If there’s something you need to get off your chest, we can talk about it.”

Cloud rolls his eyes, “Barret.”

“Fine then. Go home and sort your shit.”

He tries to, but his failure of a workout leaves him more frustrated than tired.

Lights, cactus…Cloud doesn’t bother taking off his shoes. He slumps down on his couch, and stares at the old box TV sitting across his living room.

Cloud scratches a hand through his hair. His chest feels tight, like something black is eating it out from the inside.

_What is this feeling?_

* * *

Tifa always gets after him for being on his phone while on the clock, but it was a fuckshow of a day, and it only just began to slow down.

He already wiped everything down, cleaned out the pastry window and drew up tomorrow’s chalkboard sign, so Cloud leans against the counter and scrolls mindlessly through videos for the last half hour. He keeps getting bike mod tutorials in his suggestions, and it feels like he’s being haunted, or something.

The door chimes. Cloud looks at the time, and then jerks his head up towards the door. It’s not Zack; just some kid in a hoodie. His heart does _not_ sink.

“Welcome,” Cloud greets flatly.

The teenager does a look around the café, and pulls a gun out of his kangaroo pocket.

“Empty the register,” he says.

Cloud full on freezes, a complete deer in the headlights. It’s one of those _there is no way this is happening to me_ kind of moments, but the gun looks alarmingly real, and it’s not like Cloud can deadlift his way out of _this._

When Cloud doesn’t budge, the teenager flicks the gun shakily, “Come on, move it!”

He isn’t holding it right, but the gun looks cocked, and Cloud really doesn’t want his finger to slip, so he lifts up his hands.

“I have to get the key.”

“Then keep your fuckin’ hands where I can see them.”

Cloud slowly moves to the drawer and pulls out the keyring. He sorts through for the register key and enters in the manager’s code.

When the drawer pops, his heart sinks. Tifa didn’t take the deposit with her tonight, and it’s a full register.

The burglar throws down a bag, “Put it in now!”

Cloud hesitates again. This is _Tifa’s_ money.

The kid shoves the gun in Cloud’s face.

“I’m not going to repeat myself!”

“No,” Cloud says, and shuts the drawer. The guy looks shocked. Then, he raises the gun again. 

“Your fuckin’ funeral,” he says.

“Put down the gun, kid.”

Cloud’s eyes jerk up and over the burglar’s shoulder. Zack has a military standard pistol in hand, and his grip is as steady as iron.

_What the hell?_

How did he get in here? The door chime didn’t even go off.

But thank god for it, because as soon as the kid whips his head around, Zack disarms him and kicks the other gun across the floor, fast as lightning. The kid jerks for it, but Zack points his own gun back at him.

“Move and I’ll fire. That’s a warning.”

Zack looks so different when he’s serious. It’s like a completely different man has taken over his body. The puppy-dog eyes are gone, replaced with a soldier that means business.

“Fucking _shit._ Where the hell did you come from?”

Zack ignores him, “Cloud, go call the police. Do you have any zip ties in the back?”

The adrenaline is beating so fast in his mouth, it takes Cloud a moment to answer.

“Y-yeah.”

“Go,” Zack nods. Cloud grabs his dropped phone off the floor and rushes to the storage room. He props his phone against his shoulder and digs for the zip ties. By the time Cloud hangs up, he’s found a good handful, and he gives them to Zack.

“Here.”

“Thanks. Police on their way?”

“Yeah.”

“Watch it, asshole,” the teenager fights him, but Zack forces him to his knees and pockets his own gun again, zip tying his hands behind his back.

“Come on man, work with me.”

The kid spits from the floor, “Fuck you.”

“You’re young, dude. You need to take a good look at where you’re at right now,” Zack snaps. He looks up to Cloud, who still feels like he’s swimming through molasses. “Can you bring me his gun?”

Cloud stiffly grabs the weapon, and hands it to Zack. He looks it over expertly, and then uncocks it and unloads the magazine.

The kid rolls his eyes, “Come on bro, what are you, a cop?”

“I’m kind of worse,” Zack says.

Cloud doesn’t realize he’s in shock until the police have come, and he’s sitting at an empty barstool with his head in his hand, watching them take the kid into custody.

“He’ll be charged as a juvenile,” the policewoman says to Zack. “We’ve contacted his family. Hopefully we can get him some help so this won’t happen again.”

There is paperwork, and Cloud has to give a statement, and it’s all a headache.

Zack slides up next to him at a respectful distance. Cloud looks up, and Zack offers a stick of gum.

“You okay?”

Cloud takes it, and the sharp, minty taste brings him back to the present.

“Yeah.” Cloud looks to Zack’s waist. You would never know that there is a gun under his shirt. “Do you always carry?”

“Most of the time. If not, I’ve got a knife on me.” Zack looks away, “It’s not like I pull it on people. I just like to know I can…do something if I have to.”

There’s an awkward tension between them. Cloud can still see himself slamming his hands on the counter and screaming at Zack to leave.

Cloud sits up slowly, and turns his head to look Zack in the eye. “How did you know?”

Zack rubs his nose sheepishly, “I didn’t. I actually came by to apologize. Pretty lucky, huh?”

“You don’t have anything to apologize for.”

“I really –”

“Zack,” Cloud cuts off. Zack goes quiet, and Cloud looks at him earnestly. “Thank you.”

Zack blinks at him, and then smiles shortly. “You’re welcome.”

Cloud can’t remember the last time his heart beat this fast. It hasn’t slowed down yet, and Cloud hopes it isn’t written all over his face. He feels the need to break the silence.

“So…aren’t you going to hit on me again?”

Zack laughs, and lifts his hands up in surrender.

“Hey, I got the message loud and clear.”

“I’m sorry,” Cloud says. “It…wasn’t a good day.”

Zack’s eyes shine all sparkly.

“I totally get it. We’re good, right?”

“Yeah. We’re good.”

“Oh my god, Cloud!” Tifa shoulders past the police. Cloud is barely on his feet before Tifa tackles him in a hug. “I’m so glad you’re okay!”

He pats her stiffly, “I’m fine.”

Tifa pulls back, and hugs Zack too. Zack seems a bit surprised, but he doesn’t fight her off.

“I got the call and – Zack – _thank you,_ oh my gods, thank you.”

“Ah – it was no biggie.”

Tifa steps back and crosses her arms, glaring in the direction of the cop car parked on the street.

“That kid is lucky I wasn’t working. I would’ve wrung his little neck until he saw stars.”

Cloud and Zack share a look over her head, a mutual _yeah, glad that didn’t happen._

“At least nothing got broken,” Cloud looks around the café. Tifa punches his arm.

“You should’ve just given him the money! What are you, _stupid?”_

“What??”

“It’s not worth your _life,_ Cloud!!”

“This place _is_ your life, Tifa!”

“Hey, hey,” Zack breaks it up with a hand on Tifa’s arm. “Everything worked out fine. Sit down and breathe, okay?”

“You’re right,” Tifa sighs. “I think I’m going to invest in some security cameras.”

“I think that sounds like a good idea.”

Tifa sits on the barstool, breathes a moment, and looks between Cloud and Zack skeptically. Cloud gives her a _don’t ask_ look, and he’s grateful she doesn’t.

Zack scratches his head, “So uh… this is a dumb question. But could I still get some coffee?”

Cloud almost, _almost_ cracks. Tifa does for him, tipping her head back and cackling manically. She squeezes Zack’s firm shoulder and sighs,

“I’ll get you all the coffee you want, big guy.”

 _“Sweet._ ”

* * *

Lights…

Cloud sets down his full water bottle next to the cactus. He chooses to take a long shower, turning the heat up until his skin is red and blotchy.

This day was by far one of the shittiest days he’s ever had at the café, and yet the awful, sickly feeling previously haunting his stomach is not there.


	2. Chapter 2

The weekend could not come soon enough.

Marlene is having a sleepover at a friend’s, so this week’s movie night is at Barret’s house. He lives towards the suburbs, so it’s nice to have more space. The downside of Barrets house is that you won’t walk out of here without throwing up from alcohol poisoning at least once.

“Tonight, we are watching bisexual legend Megan Fox in _Jennifer’s Body,_ and if I hear one complaint I’m suing you for homophobia,” Jessie says.

“You won’t hear any complaints from me!” Aerith chirps.

Barret looks like he wants to object, but he works on pouring drinks instead.

“As an ally, I will keep my mouth shut,” Biggs proclaims.

“Until you get this in ya,” Barret grins, stirring something evil in his witch’s cauldron.

The doorbell rings. Cloud looks skeptically over his shoulder from where he has his feet kicked up on the coffee table. They’re not forgetting anyone…are they?

“I’ll get it,” Tifa waves. She sits up off Aerith’s lap, and sways to the door. The lock pulls, and then; “Zack! You made it!”

Cloud jerks upright.

Aerith gasps and runs to the door. Zack greets her in a hug, and fistbumps Tifa hello.

“Hey guys.”

“Ayyye, it’s the man of the hour!” Barret laughs. “Come get some punch, Mister Hero.”

“Consume at your own risk,” Biggs warns.

“Yea, a risk of it being _delicious._ ”

Cloud peeks over the edge of the couch. Zack spots him and waves, and Cloud sinks back down. Zack’s voice lowers a little.

“Hey, is this really okay?”

“Of course it is,” Aerith frowns. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“You literally stopped an armed robbery at my shop,” Tifa deadpans. “You have free movie passes for life.”

Zack looks relieved.

“For real, serious label warning on the punch,” Biggs adds, clapping Zack’s hand in a hello as he passes by. “Did you drive here?”

“Yeah, but I’m no lightweight, I’ll be fine.”

“We’ll get you an uber,” Tifa pats his back.

“For you my good man,” Barret nods, passing Zack a cup. “Hand this to Cloud, will ya?”

Zack takes a cup in each hand, and sniffs one of them. The color is a suspicious green hue.

“What’s in this?”

“Death incarnate,” Jessie says in a spooky voice.

“I call it the _Avalanche._ ” 

“Oh goody.”

People start to settle again, and Zack approaches the back of the couch to hand Cloud his solo cup.

“Hey.”

Cloud takes it and nods, “Hi.”

“They didn’t tell you I was coming by, did they?”

“Nope,” Cloud says. He quickly looks Zack over, and takes in a baggy sweatshirt and name brand sweats. His hair is down, and it reaches his shoulders. “But it’s fine. Come sit.”

“Didn’t feel like chilling with _‘the boys’_ today?” Aerith asks.

“I actually don’t see them that often,” Zack admits. He takes a seat on one of the beanbags. “Most live at the frat house, while I split rent with Reno.”

“Fuck am I glad not to have roommates anymore,” Biggs says. “Sorry Wedge.”

“No offense taken!” Wedge calls from the kitchen.

Jessie plops down on the second beanbag, half her cup already gone.

“So! So! Tell me about this total badassery. Cloud refuses to disclose any details.”

Zack laughs, “It happened really fast. There’s not much to say.”

Jessie sighs, “Come _on._ It had to be super hot, I mean, look at you.” She lifts up a finger gun and lowers her voice, “ _Put down the gun~!”_

Aerith and Tifa giggle on the other couch. Cloud sinks down and takes a swig of punch.

“We learned how to disarm people in bootcamp,” Zack shrugs.

“That’s sexy.”

“Keep it in your pants, Jess,” Biggs hits play on the remote. “Or you’ll scare him off.”

“Hmm, but check out those _arms,_ nothing scares you, huh big boy?”

Zack blinks, tips his head back and looks at Cloud upside down.

“Is this what I sound like?”

“Yes.”

Tifa laughs _uncontrollably._ Barret and Wedge appear with a full tray of drinks.

“Please enjoy the Wallace special. I will now be taking your keys.”

The group fishes their keys out of various pockets, and dumps them in the empty bowl Barret is holding.

Zack looks up at Aerith curiously.

“It can’t be that bad, can it?”

“Oh Zack,” Aerith sighs.

* * *

The movie is forgotten after an hour. Aerith decided they should drag out the karaoke machine, and that was that.

Cloud would rather be caught dead than sing, so he perches on the couch and watches Barret embarrass himself instead. Tifa and Aerith are dancing to Barret’s botched rendition of _Hot Stuff_ by Donna Summer, and Jessie is blackout drunk, passed out on the barstool.

“Holy shit,” Biggs says, emerging out of the bathroom. “Well that was it for me. I can’t believe you haven’t thrown up yet, Fair.”

“Oh, I’m there,” Zack says, head slack on the back of the couch. His neck is red all the way down to his shirt, but he looks better than some of the people here. “Fuck, and I was the king of keg stands.” Zack sniffs the solo cup again, “Seriously, what the hell is in this?”

“Rat poison,” Cloud says.

“You were smart enough to only drink two,” Biggs slumps down on the bean bag. Cloud isn’t sober, but he’s not completely a lost cause. His head and his toes feel fuzzy and he’s sweating a little, but the buzz is good.

Tifa and Aerith are so ridiculously drunk that they think they’re still dancing — but they’re actually just holding onto each other’s shoulders and laughing.

Zack lost his sweatshirt half an hour ago, and his tee is pulled and twisted around his torso, and it lifts up off his stomach when he throws his arms over his head, and Cloud isn’t sober enough to make himself stop staring.

“Damn,” Zack presses a hand against his forehead. He turns his head to look at Cloud, and Cloud gets flustered when he catches him staring. Zack stares back at him, and his eyes dip down and up, and for a moment, Cloud tunes out Barret’s terrible singing. The tension breaks when Tifa bumps over a table with her butt, and a lamp falls to the floor. 

“Haha – oops!”

Zack stands.

“I’m going to get some air.”

“Porch is that wayyy,” Aerith points crooked. Barret picks her up by the shirt collar before she joins Tifa on the floor.

Cloud watches Zack cross the room and fumble with the sliding door. When Cloud turns back, Biggs is giving him a look.

“What?” Cloud snaps.

“Nothinnn.”

“Come on ya’ll, I ain’t sober enough to carry both of you,” Barret barks. Tifa and Aerith giggle, now laying around the lamp cord. 

The girls are like two wiggly worms with too many limbs. Cloud decides to help Barret out, and lifts Tifa up from under her arms. She slumps like a cat, and Cloud readjusts his grip on her.

“Put ‘em in the guest room,” Biggs suggests. “They’ll either pass out or fuck each other sober.”

“Great,” Barret sighs. “I just changed those sheets.”

Tifa makes a moaning sound when Cloud readjusts her in his arms.

“Grab a trash can,” Cloud suggests.

When they get the girls settled in the guest room, they realize that Wedge is now fishing through Barret’s fridge, and is heating up a frozen pizza.

Cloud leans against the wall and crosses his arms. By now Biggs has unplugged the karaoke machine and is setting up the xbox, and Barret seems to decide _well if you can’t beat em, join em,_ because he’s helping Wedge with a second pizza.

“Wherh ya’ ghoin?” Jessie slurs as Cloud walks by. He didn’t even know she was conscious.

“To get some air,” he answers. Both Jessie and Biggs give him a _look,_ and because Cloud is drunk, he flips them off.

The world is completely different outside. Colder, crisper, and the noise is muffled through the sliding door. It feels like a dark liminal space.

The porch is littered with drying art projects, so Zack is sitting on the stairs, head up against the post and his arms crossed over his legs. Cloud clears his throat and takes a seat next to him on the top stair. Zack raises his head to look at him.

“Oh. Hey Cloud.”

“Mm.”

“You okay?”

“I should be asking you that.”

“I’m fine,” Zack laughs, and closes his eyes. “I thought I had a pretty good tolerance, but god damn that guy doesn’t mess around.”

“They tried to warn you,” Cloud offers.

“I know. Hot in there, huh?”

“Yeah.”

It goes silent. Cloud looks at the dark, blue-ish hue over the neighborhood, and sets his chin on his knees. It takes him a long time to realize that Zack is staring at him. His eyes are foggy, but his face is completely serious.

“Wow,” Zack mutters. 

“What?”

“You’re really stunning.”

Cloud feels his skin go hot all over. He makes a _tch_ noise, and whips his head away, looking down the opposite end of the street.

“Sorry,” Zack mumbles, and bonks his head back against the post. “I’m not s’posed to say that.”

Cloud slowly looks back over. He digs his finger into one of the holes in his jeans, and prods.

“Hm?”

“Don’t…um…don’t want you to hate me.”

Cloud’s chest caves in. He swallows around his tongue, and feels the world drunkenly sway. He says without thinking.

“I don’t hate you.”

Zack looks at him with piercing blue eyes.

“You…don’t?”

Cloud sighs, and tips his head against the opposite post.

“No.”

Zack tries a light tone, “You just really, _really_ don’t like me?”

An owl hoots off in the trees. Laughter muffles from inside the house.

“It’s not that either.” Zack waits patiently, and Cloud twirls his finger around one of the threads at his knee. “I just…don’t know how to do any of this. I don’t know…I’ve never really…”

Zack’s voice is low and calm. 

“What do you mean?”

Cloud takes a deep breath, “I’ve never – nobody has ever said that kind of stuff to me before. I mean – I’ve been catcalled before but – I don’t know how to –” He cuts himself off when he realizes that he’s rambling. Cloud clamps his jaw shut. Fuck, he’s embarrassing when he drinks.

Zack frowns, eyebrows furrowed in concentration, like it’s taking all his brain power to understand. The proverbial lightbulb goes off, and he gasps loudly.

“ _Wait!_ Do you mean – you’ve never dated? Anyone? Ever?”

Cloud grits his teeth, “Can you talk any louder?”

“Oh man. Ohh man.” Zack sits back. “I’m – wow. I need to track down every person you’ve ever met and give them a talking to. With my fist.”

Cloud snorts, and Zack sits up like a rocket. There are crickets, and then;

“Was that a laugh?”

“No.”

“That was! You just laughed.”

“No – I was breathing.”

“Holy shit. I’m writing this down in my diary.”

Cloud fights very hard to keep his face straight.

“You keep a diary?”

Zack taps his head, “Yeah, in ma brain. Dear Diary, Cloud laughed today and it was awesome. I want to comment on how pretty his eyes are but I know I’m not supposed to, also this hangover is going to be amazing. Sincerely, Zack.”

“Yours are, too,” Cloud mumbles.

Zack turns to him, “Huh?”

“Nevermind.”

A lone car drives by the street, illuminating the block and taking the orange light with it. Cloud can feel Zack’s body heat from the other side of the step.

The sliding door opens, and Barret peeks his head out.

“Alright ya’ll, I’m calling Ubers. Speak now or sleep on the floor.”

Zack weakly raises a hand, “Yes please.”

“Me too,” Cloud says.

Zack tells Barret his address, and Barret returns to the house to find his phone. Cloud can’t remember where he put his.

“This was fun,” Zack says when it’s silent again. “You and Aerith have some good friends.”

“It wasn’t always that way.”

Zack hums. The porch light catches on his dark eyelashes. They’re really long.

“Sometimes, you’re not meant to meet certain people until you need them most.”

If Cloud was sober, he would’ve gotten up and walked away already. But something about Zack’s words resonates in his fuzzy brain. He keeps thinking about Zack holding that gun steady. About the no-nonsense tone of his voice.

Cloud grabs a stray sharpie from one of Marlene’s art projects, and pulls the cap off with his teeth.

“Give me your arm.”

Zack’s head bobbles, “Huh?”

Cloud takes his forearm and pulls it into his lap. His arm is firm, the skin tight around muscle; you can see blue veins roping into his wrist. His hands are big, too. Cloud turns his arm over, and writes what he hopes is his phone number.

Zack gapes, “Is that…?”

“Don’t smudge it,” Cloud warns. “I won’t give it to you again.”

Zack takes back his arm, studies it and laughs. “I can’t even read this right now.”

“Figure it out.”

Zack snickers; he gives Cloud a dreamy look.

“You’re cute, Cloud.”

A car approaches, and Cloud stands up off the stairs. Barret peeks his head out and yells “That’s you, kid!” with little regard for the hour, or his neighbors.

Fuck the lights, the cactus, or his shoes. Cloud crawls straight in bed, and sleeps like a fucking baby.

* * *

He wakes up on Sunday with a slight headache, but it’s nothing some aspirin can’t fix. The clock says noon, and that doesn’t surprise him.

There are thirty-seven new texts in the group chat; mostly Aerith and Jessie complaining about their massive hangovers. Wedge and Tifa came out unscathed, because Wedge doesn’t drink and Tifa has a genetic immunity to hangovers. Biggs calls her a lucky SOB, and Tifa sends about a dozen laughing emoticons. 

Cloud closes out his phone and flops it back on the bed. He stares up at his white ceiling, and tries to piece together the madness of last night.

His phone dings again. Cloud squints as he looks at an unknown number.

**_> >_ ** _I had 2 hold a mirror upside down, but I finally figured out ur number_

**_> >_ ** _I ended up smudging the 7 and the 6 and I think I texted an old lady on accident_

**_> >_ ** _oh. this is Zack Fair by the way._

Cloud slaps his forehead. Then he winces, immediately regretting it.

_Oh my god, I’m an idiot. I actually gave Zack my number last night._

Cloud types out quickly:

_Sorry. Wrong number **< <**_

**_> >_ ** _LMAO cloud I know it’s you. I double checked with Aerith._

  
Damnit.

**_> >_ ** _anyways, I just wanted to say sorry, last night I was out of it._

Cloud stares at his phone for a little too long. He rolls over on his side and tucks a pillow under his arms.

_You don’t have anything to apologize for. **< <**_

Ding!

**_> > _ ** _thats a relief_

** >>** _how you feeling?_

_Could be worse. **< < **_

**_> > _ ** _LOL glad ur not as hungover as me._

**_> >_** _drink some water!_ _ᕦ_ _(_ _ò_ ___ _óˇ_ _)_

Cloud doesn’t reply, but he still repeatedly checks his phone throughout the rest of the day. He doesn’t know what he’s waiting for. He also doesn’t know _what_ his drunk self hoped to gain from giving Zack his number.

Maybe he just wanted Zack to talk to him more.

…

Psych.

* * *

Cloud is terrible about doing the grocery shopping. Barret says if he ate better he would put on more muscle, but it just seems like such a hassle.

He’s throwing instant ramen in a basket when he hears a familiar voice from the aisle over.

_“Really? I had no idea we were in the same class, haha!”_

_“Yeah, I know! Those lecture halls can get pretty big, but I know you’re friends with Tseng and all of them.”_

_“Friends is a loose term.”_

Cloud peeks around the chips, and spots Zack chatting up a girl in the soup aisle. Or rather, it looks like she’s chatting up _him._ Zack doesn’t exactly seem uninterested, but it’s obvious the girl is trying really hard.

“Are you doing anything this weekend? We could work on our finance homework together.”

“That sounds awesome! But I actually have to put in some extra hours at the shop. I’ll take a rain check though, because that class is kicking my ass.”

The lady full on giggles, and Cloud decides he’s seen enough. He feels sick all of a sudden, like he’s had a gallon of _Avalanche_ but without the buzz.

Cloud is aware of how attractive Zack is. He is horribly, alarmingly aware of it. Zack probably gets attention like this all the time and – holy shit, why does Cloud _care??_

He doesn’t realize he’s checked out and left the grocery store, all without the groceries he went there for. Fuck.

* * *

Zack still stops by the coffee shop on occasion, but he doesn’t call Cloud _beautiful_ or _gorgeous_ anymore. Cloud is relieved and does not care.

However, Zack is a frequent texter. It never dives too personal, but Zack asks about his day and continues to tell Cloud about the cool cars in his shop or the weird facts he learns in class. It’s usually dumb.

Cloud’s phone dings partway through the day.

**_> >_ ** _aye cloudy, hows brewin?_

There is only a single man typing on a laptop at the booth, so Cloud doesn’t feel bad about texting back.

_Shitty **< <**_

**_> >_** _Aw dude. Bad orders?_

_Annoying customers. I don’t have the patience today <<_

**_> >_** _LOL I don’t think u have the patience any day_

**_> > _ ** _did you bring lunch ?_

_No. That might be my problem ** <<**_

**_> > _ ** _what’s ur favorite food?_

Cloud double checks that nobody is at the register, and fumbles around to think of an answer.

_Anything I guess **< <**_

**_> >_** _Come on, that’s boring! Tacos, ramen, sandwiches?_

_umm I like burgers **< <**_

****

**_> > _ ** _Cool cool cool._

**_> > _ ** _don’t close up early today, imma stop by_

_I’m locking the door at seven **< < **_

Zack sends back a bunch of winky faces, and Cloud pockets his phone when the door jingles.

Once he’s past the lunch rush, _Seventh Heaven_ is peaceful for a while. Some college groups clog the queue, but Wedge is able to help with those. He goes home around five, and Cloud is left tapping his fingers against the glass for the last two hours. Time seems to stretch for _forever,_ and he has to keep himself from watching the clock.

Three minutes before closing, the door chimes. Cloud peeks his head out from the storage room, and watches Zack turn the open sign over to _closed._

“We have two minutes left,” Cloud points.

“Sorry, I guess you’re closing early after all,” Zack grins. He holds up a bag of takeout, and drags one of the stools up to the counter. “I didn’t know what you liked so I got one with everything on it.” Cloud looks at the wrapped burger Zack hands him. _I’m not hungry_ is on the tip of his tongue, but his stomach chooses that moment to growl. Zack snickers, “Wow, what great comedic timing.”

Cloud sighs, “Thanks,” and unwraps the burger. Zack pulls out a similar one, and all that’s left is the annoying coffee-house indie music playing over the speakers, and the setting sun shining on the counter. Cloud doesn’t know what to say, but Zack is better at that kind of thing.

“Did you draw this for tomorrow?” Zack points to the chalkboard sign on the floor.

Cloud chews, “Yeah.”

“That’s really cool. I like the pinup girl; it reminds me of bike decals.”

“I guess I was thinking about that when I drew it,” Cloud shrugs. 

“If the guys at the shop knew you could draw like this, they’d be on your ass to quit this place.”

“Is that right.”

“Yup. I’ll have to make sure they don’t find out before I can open my _own_ shop and snatch you up.”

Cloud looks at him curiously and takes another bite of his burger. Zack has grease smudged in his hair, and he’s carrying a backpack full of textbooks over one shoulder.

“What are you going to school for?”

“Business,” Zack answers. Cloud gives him a long stare, and Zack starts to laugh. “I really want my own auto body shop. The dream would be to do custom work on luxury vehicles. But all I know is fixing cars and firing guns, and none of that is useful for managing finances.”

“Wow,” Cloud says dryly. “I guess that’s thinking ahead.”

Zack shrugs, “I’ve got dreams, Cloudy. I’ll make it happen.”

Cloud rolls his eyes, “Don’t call me that.”

“What? I sure as shit can’t call you _sunny_ can I?”

Cloud snorts before he’s had the mind to stop himself. Zack laughs at his own joke, and Cloud holds up a hand as if blocking out his view of Zack will make him disappear.

“You are so not funny.”

“I’m hilarious,” Zack claims. “Hey, are you a fries in a milkshake kind of guy?”

“I guess.”

“Great, because I forgot I put milkshakes in my bag.”

“What the hell, you put milkshakes in there? You’re going to trash your textbooks.”

“It’s just my laptop,” Zack says, like that’s any better, and like Mary Poppins he pulls out two milkshakes from his backpack. Cloud is extremely skeptical about consuming one, but Zack peer pressures him into trying it, so if he dies it’s his fault.

“When I get fat I’m going to stick Barret on you.”

Zack swoons, “Aww, you’d be so cute with round cheeks.” He then jolts upright, and covers his mouth. “Oops. Sorry.”

A warm…soft feeling rolls around his chest. It almost feels like relief.

“It’s whatever,” Cloud mumbles. Zack eyes him a moment, then perks up like a dog.

“Hey, have you ever been snowboarding?”

“Yeah, why?”

“The mountain is supposed to get snow next month, and me and my friends go almost every other weekend during peak season. You really ought to come, it’s a fucking riot.”

“Tifa and I have gone a couple times,” Cloud chews.

“You any good?”

“Are _you_?”

“You’ll have to come and find out,” Zack winks. Cloud rolls his eyes, and he’s already so ridiculously late to go home, but he loses track of time anyways.

* * *

“How’s that?” Cloud asks.

“Oh Cloud, that’s perfect!” Aerith claps her hands together. “Two more and we’ll be good to go.”

Cloud grunts, and heaves another bag of dirt over his shoulder. Aerith volunteers for a hundred million different organizations, and after frequently dragging Tifa into her work, she’s recently targeted Cloud too. Especially if there is hard labor involved.

Today they’re planting trees for an orphanage. Cloud doesn’t complain because he has enough red on his leger, and he doesn’t need that kind of karma right now.

Aerith is obviously in her happy place. Flowers tucked in her hair, sundress covered in dirt; she’s directing volunteers around the big empty lot to fulfill her ‘vision’. Cloud can see Tifa way off in the parking lot, jumped up on the back of a pickup, lowering down nursery trees.

Cloud starts to dig out another marked spot on the ground, and Aerith continues on the nearby flowerbed. It’s not necessarily hot today, but the sun still beats down on top of them, and Cloud has to roll up his sleeves, aware that he will probably burn.

When the hole is deep enough, Cloud begins to plant the tree. Someone else is using the hand truck, so Cloud just shoulders it in with his shovel.

“Wow, this is going so much faster with you around,” Aerith smiles. Cloud hums a response, covering the roots back with dirt. A water bottle is shoved in his field of view. “Here, take a break!”

“Oh, thanks.”

Aerith pops open her own bottle, and bounces on the heels of her boots.

“I’m so excited. In a few years, this whole yard is going to be covered in maple trees!”

“It will be good shade for the kids,” Cloud shrugs. He downs part of the bottle and splashes the rest on his face. Aerith gives him a look.

“Thanks for your help Cloud, really.”

“It’s whatever.”

“I’m glad you are around more.” Aerith plays with a pebble at the toe of her shoe. “It makes Tifa happy to have you at the café.”

Cloud immediately senses the tone shift. He tenses, voice growing suspicious.

“Uh huh…”

“She used to worry about you so much! And of course I mean – I do too. We just want you to be happy, Cloud.”

Cloud squints. He’s known her long enough to be (partially) unphased by the good-girl act.

“What are you trying to say?”

“Are you really uninterested in Zack?”

Cloud flounders, “ _W-What?”_

“I can have a talk with him if he’s still bugging you…” Aerith frowns, and rubs her arm. “To be honest…it was me that encouraged him to keep flirting with you. I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” Cloud says. “But it’s not…a big deal. I mean – it’s fine. Don’t worry about it.”

“You’ve been so closed off lately. I just want to know how you really feel.”

Cloud swallows. Actually _saying how he feels_ isn’t far off from pulling teeth. Aerith is looking at him with those big green eyes and okay _,_ fine, maybe Cloud isn’t completely immune.

“I…don’t even know myself,” Cloud admits.

Apparently, that was a good answer, because Aerith perks up. She pats him softly on the shoulder.

“I understand. Don’t be afraid, Cloud. You can talk to any of us!” Cloud can feel himself physically closing off again, and Aerith pushes at him, laughing. “Cloud, come on!”

“There are more trees to plant,” Cloud says, grabbing his shovel again. “We can eat ice cream and talk about our feelings later.”

Aerith clasps her hands together in delight, “Promise?!”

“No.”

* * *

With his phone shoved between his shoulder and his ear, Cloud proudly does laundry for the first time in a month. There are no colors to separate, because Cloud doesn’t own anything other than black, grey, or black.

“That doesn’t even make any sense,” Cloud says.

_“That’s what I said! Like, okay. I’m good at structure, structure is easy peasy. You tell me what you want and I’ll do it. But this willy-nilly no syllabus, random-weight assignment class is going to be the death of me. And I’ve literally been shot at.”_

Zack’s rambling is like a steady flow of water in his ear. It’s easy to zone out to.

“Do you even need this class?”

_“Ugh, yes. I’ve been putting off this art credit for two semesters.”_

Cloud pauses, finger hovering over the start button on his washing machine.

“This is an art class?”

_“Yeah. Do you want to do all my assignments for me? Haha.”_

“Is this why you called me?”

_“Maybe._ ” You can hear the sound of a wrench clanking against something. Metal creaks through the phone. _“Also I was called in to finish up a service, and all my buds are barhopping.”_

“Shouldn’t you get off the phone if you’re at work?”

_“Well, maybe I just wanted to hear your voice~.”_

Cloud rolls his eyes, even though Zack can’t see it.

“Right.”

_“Don’t roll your eyes at me!”_ Surprised, Cloud goes quiet. Zack starts to cackle, _“Did I nail it?”_

“You are so annoying,” Cloud tells him.

_“I know. When are you going to let me work on that bike of yours?”_

“Never, because I’m not going to pay you.”

_“I take allll kinds of payment, baby,”_ Zack sings. Cloud wishes he could glare through the phone, and Zack seems to pick up on it. _“I meant in food, Cloud! Get your mind out of the gutter.”_

“Why do you even want it so bad?”

_“It’s a beautiful supersport.”_ Clink clink, bang! _“Ow— shit. I mean, those yamahas will race, dude. How much did you pay for it?”_

Cloud flops back down on his bed, rubbing his socked feet against the comforter.

“Not that much. I got it used.”

_“See, there’s your problem. She needs a lover’s touch, Cloud.”_

“Don’t make this weird.”

_“Every lady needs some TLC. You don’t want her breaking down on you, do ya?”_

“You’re going to curse me, and I’m going to kill you,” Cloud says flat. Zack’s laugh is scratchy and deep.

“ _Then it’ll be a good thing you know a mechanic, right? Wink.”_

“Did you just _say_ wink?”

_“Yeah! How else will you know I’m winking? Wink wink.”_

Cloud is smiling.

It takes him a moment too long to realize it, and he slaps a hand over his mouth.

“I’m hanging up,” Cloud chokes.

_“Save me one of the bean bags for movie night.”_

Cloud makes a short affirming noise. Zack has barely said goodbye before Cloud hangs up.

The white ceiling stares down at him. Cloud runs his fingers along his lower lip. It feels like someone is sitting on his chest.

* * *

Barret has to work late one night, so Cloud agrees to pick up Marlene from school. Aerith is typically first in line to babysit Marlene, and Cloud is terrible with kids, so he’s absolute dead last. If Barret comes to him, then it must mean everybody – and he means _everybody,_ is busy.

Marlene rides the school bus, and it’s only a quarter mile walk from there. Cloud has no idea how to talk to kids, but Marlene never seems to mind.

“— and _then_ Joey brought his pet tarantula to class, and all the other girls were screaming really loud, but I thought it was cute. I asked if I could pet it but Miss Rohen said no.”

“She sounds sensible,” Cloud says. He waits for Marlene to grab his hand so they can cross the street.

“I have to do all my homework tonight so my popsicle stick will be moved from the yellow light to the green light.”

“And uh, these popsicle sticks are important?”

Marlene frowns and yanks on his hand with her tiny fingers. “If I get a green light for a _whole week_ then I get to be line leader.”

“That sounds like a lot of responsibility.”

“Daddy says _the price of greatness is responsibility.”_

Jesus, Barret.

“Do you need help with your homework?”

“No! I have to do it myself.” Marlene lets go of his hand and bounces up to the front door. “Oh, but can I have a popsicle for dinner?”

“I might consider it,” Cloud says. He opens the door and Marlene goes running through the entry. Cloud can feel his phone buzzing in his back pocket; he pulls it out just to make sure Barret isn’t having a heart attack.

It’s actually Zack.

**_> >_ ** _oh my god CLOUD!!_

**_> > _ ** _reno found a garter snake in our pipe and tried to pet it. LOOK at this_

There’s an attached picture of Reno’s bloody hand, and a second picture of the garden snake in a large Tupperware full of holes.

Cloud snorts and shuts the door with his foot. Maybe he _is_ good with kids.

* * *

Cloud is tasked with inventory when the cafe door rings. A quick look at his watch tells him who it is.

_“Hey Tifa! Lookin’ good today.”_

_“Shut up weirdo. What can I get you?”_

_“I need you to seriously fuck me up. I have a quiz tomorrow that I haven’t studied for at all.”_

Cloud heaves a box on his shoulders, and hurries to finish up on the ladder.

_“What level of fucked up? Because I can give you a buzz for six hours, or you can kiss sleep goodbye for the next two days.”_

Cloud climbs down from the ladder and dusts off his hands, elbowing open the door.

“Shit, the second option might be better.” Zack takes off his hat and smooths down his dark hair, flipping the cap around backwards. “I have two classes, and then a date with a girl right after – oh _,_ hi Cloud!”

Cloud’s heart sinks past his stomach and into his feet. He hovers in the doorway, and stares dumbly at Zack’s bleary direction. Nothing comes out of his mouth, and Tifa comes to the rescue.

“A date huh? Then maybe you should stick with option A, and you can get a nap in between classes. You don’t want your girlfriend to think you’re a freak.”

Zack chuckles, “You’re probably right. But she’s not my girlfriend – just a chick from one of my classes who’s been hitting me up.”

Tifa hands him back his change. “Cute?”

Zack looks at Cloud the same way he always does. Except this time, his eyes don’t hold the same spark.

“I guess.”

Cloud’s feet are glued to the floor. Tifa rings up his order, and slaps a label on a cup.

“Will you start this for me?”

Cloud takes the cup numbly. He reads the order twice, and blinks to bring himself back to the present.

_Caramel cappuccino, caramel cappuccino…_

“I love the sign today,” Zack says, leaning over the counter. “The cat is genius. People love cats.”

“Isn’t he talented?” Tifa smiles. “Be polite and say _thank you,_ Cloud.”

Cloud swallows thickly and snaps the lid on. His voice sounds like a frog.

“Thanks.”

Zack takes the coffee and sniffs it. There are dark circles under his eyes, motor oil stained on his hands, and a lump where his gun is hidden under his shirt. He’s the biggest, most frustrating enigma of a person, and Cloud feels like his stomach is going to eat itself.

“It smells good,” Zack smiles. Cloud can’t even look at him. It feels like he’s dying. When he doesn’t respond, Zack’s face falls. He opens his mouth like he wants to say something else, but decides against it.

“Good luck on your quiz,” Tifa offers.

Zack turns to the doorway and waves, “Thanks. Don’t work too hard.”

“We’ll try.”

Zack flips the sign from _opened_ to _closed_ on his way out. The door jingles, and that’s that.

Cloud still can’t move. His head is drowning, and his heart is beating so fast he’s sweating, and _what is going on? Am I dying?_

Tifa looks at him. Ah, she’s pissed.

“Cloud,” Tifa hisses through her teeth.

“Mm?”

“I don’t know what’s going on in that head of yours,” Tifa pokes him in the chest. “But you can’t keep playing with that guy’s heart. You like him, you don’t like him – he’s stuck around for _two months,_ Cloud! If you don’t get on this train, you’re going to miss it forever.”

Cloud wets his lips. He can see Zack walking towards the parking lot, clicking his bike keys. Cloud’s voice cracks.

“I don’t know if I can do this.”

Tifa’s expression softens considerably. She takes his face in his hands, and squeezes until the full body numbness goes away.

“I know it’s scary,” Tifa says. “I know things have happened in the past. You don’t have to let go, but you _have_ to move on.”

Cloud grips her wrist, and he’s horrified, because he knows his emotions are written all over his face.

“Tifa…”

“Answer me this. Would you be okay if Zack settled down with someone else?”

_‘Sometimes, you’re not meant to meet certain people until you need them most.’_

The answer is yanked out of him. Like someone tied a string around his tongue and pulled on it.

“No.”

Tifa’s fiery eyes are locked onto his core, always seeing right through him. She’s one of the few that ever could.

“Then what are you going to do about it?”

Her words ring in his ears. 

Cloud rips off the frilly apron, tosses it on the counter and sprints out the door.

_Cling~ Cling~_

“Zack!!”

He’s only just putting on his helmet as Cloud comes running. Zack pulls it off and tucks it under his arm; his eyes are wide in surprise.

“Cloud?”

His feet stop at the curb. Cloud grabs the pole to steady himself, and takes in a deep breath.

_I’ve been selfish. I’m sorry._

“Ask me out again,” Cloud demands.

Zack doesn’t even blink. The helmet falls out of his fingers and clangs against the asphalt.

“What?”

Cloud clenches his fingers, and bites down against all the voices in his head that scream _he’s going to laugh at you, he’s going to laugh at you._

Cloud raises his voice with more confidence.

“Ask me on a date again.”

It’s not clicking for Zack. As tall and broad as he is, Zack is rigid as a wood board.

“But…but you said –”

“ _Forget_ what I said!” Cloud snaps. “Listen to what I’m saying now.”

A long silence passes. Cloud can see the physical wheels turn in Zack’s head, one cog after another. He clears his throat, and looks Cloud over with a heavy gaze.

“Will…will you go on a date with me?”

His heart is beating so fast, Cloud is amazed it hasn’t hopped out of his mouth and raced down the block. Against all odds, his voice comes out steady.

“If you’re paying.”

Zack lights up. His smile is a white light, and it makes Cloud want to squint.

“Yeah. Yeah I will.”

“Alright,” Cloud says. “Cancel with that girl.”

Zack slowly squats down to pick up his helmet, and his eyes never leave Cloud on the curb.

“I’ll call her right now.”

Cloud nods. He blinks a moment, and then nods again. Turning methodically, Cloud walks stiffly towards the café door.

“Um, I’ll text you!” Zack calls.

Cloud waves over his shoulder and walks back into the coffee shop. When the door shuts, he hears a faint, muffled shout of; _YES!!! YES!! –_ and Cloud has to press his hand against his mouth to keep his face straight.

“Now that’s the Cloud I know,” Tifa says. Cloud slides until his butt hits the floor.

* * *

No lights, no cactus, no shoes. Cloud walks into his dark apartment and heads straight for his bedroom unshowered, fully dressed and without a meal. 

Zack’s smile haunts the forefront of his mind. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> been writing for a decade, and yet i'd never done a coffee shop au until now. I feel like it's a part of ao3 hazing 
> 
> [tumblr](https://zanimez.tumblr.com/)  
> 


	3. Chapter 3

The gym is full of people tonight. Cloud has already soaked through his shirt way past what is socially acceptable, but Barret seems to take that as a challenge. 

The weight room is on the second floor. The long windows show off streetlights and neighborhoods, and with the days slowly getting shorter, it’s easy to lose track of time. Cloud pushes himself to clear his mind.

“Forty eight…forty nine…fifty,” Barret counts, and catches the weight for him. Cloud slumps back on the bench and gasps in air, wiping his forehead with the bottom of his shirt. Barret grins and slaps his knee, “Now that’s what I’m talking about! You’ve sure got a fire under your ass tonight, kid.”

“Thanks, I guess,” Cloud pants. He makes a noise as he sits up, and Barret throws him a towel.

“What’s up with you? Got a hot date?”

Cloud wipes down his face and sighs.

“You know… I think I do.”

Barret frowns, “Now why do you look so constipated? Ain’t that a good thing?”

“I...don’t know how to feel about this person yet.” Cloud looks out the dark window of the second-floor gym.

“Well, yeah,” Barret says in a _no duh_ voice. “You’re not supposed to know yet. That’s the whole point of a first date, man.” 

Cloud looks at him, and blinks.

“Is it really?”

“Fucking shiva,” Barret exasperates, and leans up against the mirror. “Kids these days, I swear. Dates are supposed to be about gettin’ to _know_ someone. It ain’t a commitment from the start, what the fucks with that?”

The knot in his chest unravels a single line of string. Cloud tugs the towel around his neck and hums in thought.

“I guess you’re right.”

“Of course I’m right. If they’re a total whack job then you just gotta’ say _sorry bro, we ain’t gon work.”_

“I see. Thanks for— wait.” Cloud squints. “How do you know they’re a _‘bro’?_ ”

Barret stares at him. Cloud stares back. Barret lifts an eyebrow. Cloud makes a _tch_ noise and lays back down on the bench. Barret nods.

“Alright, let’s give it another twenty.”

“You’re going to kill me.”

“Not yet!”

* * *

Zack texts him asking if it’s okay to meet at a restaurant, and Cloud agrees. It feels like safe, neutral territory. Driving there himself gives him the choice to leave if he wants to, and it helps to settle his nerves. Not that he’s nervous. He’s not.

Cloud really, honestly does not know how he feels about Zack. But Cloud finds himself thinking about him when he’s making frappes. When he’s riding his bike home or falling asleep at night. And the thought of seeing Zack with someone else makes him physically ill, so – he’s still figuring it out.

The restaurant Zack suggests is a local ma and pa famous for their homemade noodles. It’s notoriously quiet, with acoustic musicians that perform nightly, and Cloud thinks Zack chose it for a reason.

He absolutely does not want to be early, so he shows up late. Zack is waiting for him outside, standing under the porch with his phone light illuminating his face. As soon as he hears Cloud’s engine, he looks up.

Cloud parks next to Zack’s Harley, and pops off his helmet. Zack approaches with a wave.

“Hey.”

“Hi.”

An awkward silence follows as Cloud steps off his bike and hangs up his helmet. He gets a good look at Zack when he stands, and he subconsciously swallows.

He’s never seen Zack wear real jeans. He’s got on a low-cut shirt and a motorcycle jacket, and Cloud didn’t even know he had piercings. His ears are usually hidden behind hats and hair.

He’s handsome, whatever. Shut up.

“You look good,” Zack comments. “By now I’m assuming your closet is just a black hole.”

Cloud looks down at his own clothes. Black pants, black shirt, black boots.

“You’re not entirely wrong,” Cloud says. Zack laughs, and urges him towards the restaurant with a nod of his head. Zack holds open the door for him, which is weird, and Cloud can smell his cologne, which is also weird, because it smells really good.

They’re seated right away. It’s a dark restaurant with lanterns and candle lighting, and the whole place smells like noodles and soup.

“I’m not going to lie,” Zack says as he sits. “I’ve never been so nervous for a date before.”

Somehow, that’s a relief.

“Why?” Cloud asks.

Zack laughs under his breath, and slides his arm over the back of his chair.

“Because I really fucking like you, and I don’t want to fuck this up.”

Cloud’s eyes widen. His heart does that fluttering thing again, but he regains control of his face.

“Then don’t fuck up,” Cloud says.

Zack laughs. The waitress comes by with their menus, and Cloud mumbles a thank you. Zack talks easy as they read; some of that awkwardness dissipates bit by bit.

“I tried to stay out of your hair for the rest of the week, but honestly I really missed talking to you.”

Cloud keeps his eyes down, but says, “You could’ve just called me.”

“Well, what if I scared you off?”

“Then you would have by now.”

Zack’s eyes look really blue in this lighting. They stare through him, and Cloud jerks his gaze back to the menu. Zack’s voice is like honey on toast, smooth and scratchy underneath.

“Good to know. What are you ordering?”

“I’m looking at the spicy miso right now.”

“You like spicy food?”

“To a degree,” Cloud shrugs. “I’m not batshit like Aerith.”

Zack snickers, and closes his menu. “Isn’t that the truth? She just about killed me every time she cooked. Glad to know she’s still that way.”

Cloud keeps a straight face and plays with one of his earrings.

As strange as this all is, Cloud knows he needs to make an effort and _attempt_ to actively participate in the conversation. He tries.

“Um. What are you going to get?”

“You can’t go wrong with tonkotsu.”

“Mm.”

The waitress brings their drinks and takes their orders. Zack pours a metric ton of sugar in his tea.

“That’s a crime,” Cloud points. “It’s called sweet tea because it’s already sweet.”

“I like sugar.”

“I’m aware.”

Zack snorts, and stirs his straw around, creating a sugary mush in his glass.

“I didn’t know you were a tea snob.”

“I make drinks for a living, what did you expect?”

“Are you a black coffee kind of guy?”

“I don’t like coffee,” Cloud says.

_“What?”_ Zack gapes. “Are you serious?”

Cloud lifts an eyebrow. “Yes. Why?”

“You work at a coffee house!”

Cloud twists his earrings and looks off at the singer performing on the small stage.

“It’s a job. And um, it helps Tifa out, so.”

“If you don’t mind me asking…what did you do before the café?”

Cloud glances back at him. Zack’s v-neck is obscenely low, and you can see the peak of a scar that crosses just between his pecs, and that is dangerous territory, so Cloud tries to look at something else.

“Why do you want to know?”

Zack shrugs, “Just curious. You don’t have to tell me.”

Cloud scratches his cheek and shrugs.

“I was all over the place. Did a semester of college before I dropped out. Slept on park benches and shoplifted to keep my head above water.”

Zack keeps his tone light.

“Family?”

“No.”

“Me neither,” Zack shrugs. “What did you go to school for?”

“Erm. Art.”

“That doesn’t surprise me,” Zack smiles. He doesn’t ask why Cloud dropped out, and for that he’s grateful. “Would you ever go back?”

“No.” Cloud stares into the glowing fire burning on their tableside candle, and his eyes grow hazy. “It wasn’t for me.”

Zack shrugs, and slides down in his chair. “Don’t feel bad. I’m only just figuring out what I want to do with my life.”

Cloud looks up. “What are you, twenty-six?”

“Nailed it.”

“Is it weird being older than everyone in your class?”

“Not really? There’s a lot of age variety. You’d be surprised at the number of moms that have gone back for their bachelors.”

Cloud nods.

“Are you almost done?”

“Just a semester left, gorgeous,” Zack replies, and then sits up straight, eyes wide. “Shit! Sorry. That one slipped.”

Cloud forces back the heat in his face. He flips a stray sugar packet around in his fingers, and says, “It’s fine.”

“I don’t mean to–”

“Do what you want,” Cloud snaps. “I don’t care.”

Zack stares, like he’s trying to get a read on him. The heat in his face is still there, so Cloud keeps his eyes glued on the table. Zack cracks a smile after a moment and draws his attention by setting his face in his hand, and blinking those long eyelashes.

“If you don’t like something, you can tell me.”

“Whatever.”

“I meant it earlier, you look hot tonight. Turtlenecks are your thing.”

Cloud huffs and crosses his arms.

“Stop trying to embarrass me.”

“I’m not trying to do anything,” Zack eye-smiles. “It’s just the truth. I really can’t believe you’ve never been on a date before.”

“Well believe it, dick.”

“Aww, come on. We were getting along so well.” Zack sits back up and takes a sip of his abomination. “Can I ask…what made you have a change of heart?”

Cloud tips his head, forgetting about his bad mood.

“What do you mean?”

Zack’s cheery demeanor turns serious. It draws Cloud’s undivided attention like a magnet.

“I mean… the elephant in the room. You shot me down relentlessly. I honestly thought…”

“I was a lost cause?” Cloud finishes.

“Erm, yeah.”

Cloud runs his tongue along his teeth, and sighs. The words don’t come to him right away, but Zack doesn’t rush him. The waitress brings their food, and neither of them touch it.

“I don’t know,” Cloud admits. “But you make me feel…different. You annoy me, but it’s okay.”

Cloud looks up when he doesn’t reply, and is shocked to see that Zack’s face is pink. Zack blinks it away, but his smile is...shy.

_That’s cute._

“I see. You don’t know what a relief that is to hear.”

Cloud exhales, and breaks his chopsticks. “You’re so weird.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m not worth the hassle. You should just chase somebody easier.”

“Easy isn’t you,” Zack smiles. Cloud rolls his eyes.

“That was so lame.”

“I have more. Are you a parking ticket? Because you have _fine_ written all over you.”

“Oh god, not this again.”

“I may not be a genie, but I can make _your_ dreams come true.”

_“Zack._ ”

“Are you my phone charger? Because without you I’d die.”

“Stop it,” Cloud laughs, and then snaps his jaw shut in shock. Zack stares back wide eyed. Then he smiles like a kid in a candy store.

“Holy crap, your laugh is adorable.”

“I was _breathing,_ ” Cloud defends.

“Nice try, but that won’t work on me again. I’m sober this time.”

Cloud glares over his noodles, but Zack won’t give up the cheesy pickup lines, and Cloud has to repeatedly kick him under the table to get him to stop.

* * *

Cloud doesn’t realize how quickly time has passed until the date is over, and they’re standing back outside the restaurant. Cloud stares at his bike parked at the curb, and a slow crawl of dread creeps over his shoulders.

Zack pockets his hands in his jacket and leans up against the light pole.

“There you have it. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Cloud shrugs, “The food was alright, I guess.” Zack smiles knowingly at him, and Cloud feels strangely pressed to mumble, “Thanks for paying.”

“Thanks for saying yes.” Zack pulls his riding gloves out of his pocket and jerks his head towards their bikes. “Is it alright if I drive you home?”

Cloud slides on his own gloves.

“You don’t have to treat me like a girl.”

“I’m not,” Zack frowns. “I just don’t want to say goodnight yet.”

Cloud grows flustered, so he pops on his helmet.

“Whatever you want.”

Zack wiggles on a red and black motorcycle helmet and straddles his bike, and Cloud’s stomach does this horrible squeezing thing that makes him feel hot all over.

Zack’s motor pops on, and he revs it before flipping his kickstand.

“Lead the way,” he says.

Cloud turns on his ignition and leads them out of the parking lot. Zack pulls up to his left at the light, and they share the lane. When the light turns green Cloud takes off, and Zack keeps right with him. The hour is past the work rush, so they’re able to zip down the streets. Cloud weaves between some cars, curious to see if Zack will fall behind, but he doesn’t.

They separate and remerge in front of a van, and Zack revs his bike, like he’s urging him on.

Cloud is aware of how fast they’re speeding, but the wind and the adrenaline is hitting him in the chest, and it makes him feel weightless. Zack appears to know his every turn before he does, because he never falls behind.

The ride is over too soon. Cloud pulls into his assigned parking spot, and Zack parks next to him, and they kill their engines in sync.

“You ride fast,” Zack notes, lifting off his helmet. “I like that.”

Cloud tucks his own under his arm, and looks up at him.

_Has he always been this tall?_

“You’re alright, I guess.”

“I’ll take that compliment,” Zack grins. He looks up at the apartment complex, and back to Cloud. “This it?”

“Yup.”

There aren’t any streetlights on this side of the lot. A heavy silence grows between them, and Cloud knows he should walk up the stairs, but his feet don’t move. Zack is staring down at him with an expression Cloud can’t read, and that unsettles him.

“So…” Zack starts. “Did I win a second date?”

Cloud thinks about it. Zack seems to grow more nervous the longer Cloud hesitates. The moon gives Zack’s hair a blue-ish hue, and his eyes stand out in the dark, so much so that they appear to glow.

“I guess,” Cloud decides.

Zack smiles at him. He slowly moves to pluck the helmet out of Cloud’s hand, and because Cloud has no idea what he’s doing, he lets him. Zack sets the helmet on Cloud’s bike seat and holds his right hand between his own.

“Thank the gods,” Zack mumbles.

Cloud stands in stunned silence as Zack pulls off his glove, and brings Cloud’s hand to his mouth. Cloud does nothing as Zack presses a kiss into his palm. Cloud can feel the contrast between the roughness of his stubble and his warm, soft lips, and Cloud nearly jumps.

“What are you doing?” Cloud croaks.

“Your goodnight kiss.” Zack squeezes his wrist, and tingles flow up his arm and into his core. “Goodnight, beautiful.”

Cloud rips his hand back.

“Freak,” his voice wavers.

Zack isn’t bothered, “I’ll stop by Seventh on Monday.”

“Fine.”

Cloud snatches up his helmet and his glove, he and starts up the stairs. Zack mounts his bike again, and waves. Cloud doesn’t wave back, but he opens the door with his left hand, and keeps his right tucked to his chest.

* * *

Aerith comes bouncing into the café with Tifa hot on her heels. Having sensed the calm before the storm, Cloud tries to escape into the back room, but Aerith is too fast.

“Cloud! Cloud! Cloud!”

“Noo,” he whines.

“How did it go?” Tifa turns the sign from _closed_ to _open._ “Did he sweep you off your feet?”

“I’m not awake enough for this,” Cloud grumbles. “What happened to Wedge this time?”

“Food poisoning.”

Aerith swivels onto the barstool and does a three-sixty.

“Are you going on another date?! Did you kiss?!”

“This is your ex,” Cloud mumbles, tying on his apron. “Isn’t this weird for you?”

Aerith blinks at him, like he’s stupid.

“Of course not. I’m in love with Tifa.”

Cloud sighs, and boots up the computer to clock in. Tifa blocks the view of the screen with her hand. 

“Spill the deets or you’re on bathroom duty.”

“That’s low,” Cloud says.

“Desperate times for desperate measures.”

Cloud sighs heavily, and leans his ass up against the counter, crossing his arms.

“I agreed to another date. There, are you happy?”

Aerith squeals and spins around on the barstool, and Tifa socks him in the arm.

“That’s our Cloud!”

“Ow,” Cloud deadpans. He looks to Aerith, and raises an eyebrow, “Did you really wake up early just to come bug me about this?”

“Yes and no,” Aerith points. She turns around and picks up a box off the floor, slamming it on the bar. “It’s spooky season.”

“Aerith, it’s September.”

“I lost this argument already,” Tifa says. “Just give up now.”

“Whatever. Just no stupid costumes.”

“Uh huhhh,” Aerith says, in a very suspicious tone.

Aerith begins to drag chairs around and hunt for a ladder, so Cloud hides in the back prepping pastries, because he wants nothing to do with this.

* * *

The chime rings around closing, and Cloud looks up from his phone.

“Wow, Halloween came early,” Zack marvels, eyeing the decorations.

There are paper bats strung along the ceiling, orange and black garland lacing the counter, and pumpkin lanterns on every table. Tifa had seasonal promotions made for the walls, and Cloud was forced to draw up a new _spooky_ menu.

“It’s pumpkin spice season,” Cloud sighs.

“I brought food because you said you had to work open to close,” Zack says. Cloud doesn’t complain because he’s actually starving.

“Thanks.”

“I know you’re getting paid, but you must be exhausted.”

“It’s not that bad. Tifa is giving me Friday off.”

Zack blinks, dragging the barstool to the other side of the counter again.

“She is?”

“Yeah. She’s also going to hire Jessie part time, so I’ll be working a few less hours.”

“That’s a good thing, right?”

“I guess,” Cloud shrugs. He unwraps a Taco and drags his own barstool over to sit. “But I told her there’s no way I’m training.” 

Zack laughs, “I thought she was your friend!”

“Yeah, but I’ll still kill her.”

Zack snickers, and flattens the paper bag to squirt ketchup on it. He dips a fry and says, “I don’t know her as well as you, but she’s pretty…eccentric.”

“You are the same person,” Cloud replies flat.

“So do _I_ drive you crazy?”

“Yes.” Zack tries to pout, but Cloud doesn’t fall for it. Zack is wearing a beanie today, and his hoodie is rolled up to his elbows. There are paint stains on the cuffs. “Did you have your art class today?” Cloud asks.

“Yeeah. It didn’t go so well.”

“Why not?”

“We’re learning landscapes,” Zack chews, popping another fry in his mouth. “Vanishing points and stuff. I’m complete shit at it.”

“Is it three-point perspective?”

“One,” Zack corrects. “So, it shouldn’t even be that hard, but I totally bombed the assignment. I took a picture — do you want to see?”

“Sure.”

Zack pulls out his phone and scrolls. He turns the screen around when he’s found it, and Cloud leans forward over the counter.

“Ah.”

The painting is an attempt of a park, but the bench is drawn like an _‘h’_ and the people are a stick figures. It’s kind of endearing. 

“I was proud of my sky,” Zack points.

“It sure is blue,” Cloud says.

“If I fail this class then I can’t get my degree,” Zack sighs. “Can you imagine? A whole diploma held up because I can’t draw hands.”

“If you’re doing perspective, then your teacher isn’t going to critique stuff they haven’t taught you yet.” Cloud dips his fry in Zack’s ketchup. “Focus on what you covered in class. The perspective on the trees is right, I’d just round out that bench a little.”

Zack looks back at his phone and blinks.

“Really? But everyone else is adding people to their paintings.”

“Don’t pay attention to everyone else. Just follow the assignment the best you can.”

Zack looks at him for a moment, and it has that dreamy edge to it. Zack pockets his phone and shifts on the barstool.

“You’re pretty sensible for a twenty-two-year-old.”

“Don’t talk like an old man,” Cloud chides. “It’s weird.”

“Hey, if you have Friday off, how do you feel about going out that night?”

“You’re not working?”

“Shouldn’t be, but I can request it off.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

Cloud takes in his smile. Zack’s eyes are warm, and it makes his heart rattle against his ribs. Zack looks relaxed, like just spending time with Cloud is enough. He is alarmed at the sudden and intense desire to sweep Zack’s bangs out of his face.

“Fine.”

* * *

Zack is adamant about ‘picking’ him up on Friday. Cloud asks where they’re going, but Zack says something cryptic about wearing good socks.

They ride side by side through the streets again. It’s busier tonight, so they have to weave in and out of traffic. Cloud realizes where they’re going two-thirds through the drive, and lifts up his visor at a red light to glare in Zack’s direction. Zack gives a gloved thumbs up and zips off at the green.

They pull up to an old building shaped like a castle. The paint is peeling off the walls and the alley smells like garbage, and it’s nice to know this place hasn’t changed.

“What are we, twelve?” Cloud asks, shaking out his hair.

Zack disarms himself and hides his weapon in the lockbox. 

“Throwback night! What’s better than blading to Missy Elliot?”

“Anything. Literally anything.”

“Come on, step out of your comfort zone,” Zack says, urging him forwards with a hand between his shoulders. He sounds so much like Tifa, that Cloud loses track of his feet, and allows Zack to lead him towards the door.

Zack pays for the skates, and Cloud crosses his arms and puts on his best _I am not happy about this_ face.

The whole place smells like sweat and shitty pizza. They never changed the carpet from that tacky nineties’ triangle print, and the amount of disco lights makes his eyes hurt.

“Have you rollerbladed before?” Zack asks, sitting next to him on the bench. Cloud laces up his skates and tugs them tight.

“Yeah, when I was eight.”

“Alright, alright, I get it,” Zack rolls his eyes. “If you have absolutely _no_ fun then I’ll make it up to you, okay?”

Curious, Cloud looks to him.

“How?”

Zack stares. Cloud can’t read his face, and he has to actively force himself not to flinch when Zack reaches over and tucks his hair behind his ear.

“I’ll never make you stay after closing ever again.”

Conflict mixes in his stomach. There’s relief on one hand, but dread on the other.

“Fine,” Cloud agrees. Zack stands and extends a hand; Cloud ignores it and rises on his own. The DJ is playing _Brandy,_ and Zack leads them towards the rink. It’s a Friday night, so of course the building is full of teenagers. Cloud takes a moment to find his balance, swatting away Zack’s hand again.

“I got it, knock it off.”

Zack shrugs, and starts to skate next to him. Cloud gets better when they pick up speed, and Zack waits until they’ve done a lap to start skating backwards.

“You are such a showoff,” Cloud huffs.

“The base I was stationed at was up in the mountains,” Zack explains. “There wasn’t much to do in our off time, besides skate on the frozen lakes.”

Cloud stops watching his feet and looks to Zack in front of him.

“Your sergeant let you do that?”

“So long as she didn’t find out,” Zack grins. He spins once and continues to skate to the music. For such a big, tough-looking guy, it’s kind of funny to see. Zack says something else, but the speakers are so loud that Cloud misses it.

“Huh??”

“I said, you could be a dancer. You’ve got rhythm, baby.”

“And you’ve got none,” Cloud retaliates.

Zack gasps, “I do _too!_ ” He claps to the song, and it is purposefully off beat.

“I know you’re trying to make me laugh.”

“Is it working?”

“No.”

Zack snickers and starts to do crossovers, and because Cloud doesn’t want to be left behind, he copies him. Zack glides backwards and hoots, “You’re a natural!”

“And you’re embarrassing,” Cloud says, passing him. Zack catches up to his side, and they weave in and out of the slower skaters. It feels like he’s on a bike again, knowing exactly where Zack will be without looking. Cloud gets a competitive streak and glides to stay ahead of him. Zack apologizes to a lady he nearly knocks over, and spins to keep up with Cloud. Contentment bubbles in him, but he keeps a straight face as Zack slides to his side.

“You’re a little brat,” Zack teases.

Cloud’s throat closes. He doesn’t want Zack to see him blush, so he skates between a teenage couple and takes off again. He can’t shake Zack, but he doesn’t want to. Cloud looks up through his lashes, and Zack is right there, like a blanket comfort that Cloud didn’t know he needed.

The music cuts out, and everyone slows to a confused stop.

_“All right ya’ll, it’s time for the couple skate,”_ the DJ says. _“If yous single, grab a pretty face and gets out there.”_

A slow song comes on, and some of the people begin to filter out of the rink. Cloud’s heart begins to beat unbelievably fast. His eyes dart towards the exit.

Zack extends a hand.

“This okay?” Zack asks. Cloud stares at his outstretched hand like it might bite him. Zack waits patiently, even as people begin to skate around them.

Cloud clenches his own fingers.

“My hands are clammy.”

Zack chuckles under his breath and turns to Cloud’s side.

“That’s okay. Mine are too.”

Zack threads their fingers together. Cloud licks across his teeth and focuses on skating forwards again. They were zipping around the rick before, but Zack sets a slow pace with the song, and Cloud doesn’t fight him on it.

_‘No letting go, no holding back’_

Zack’s fingers fit right between his own. They’re long, and his fingertips clasp past Cloud’s knuckles. Yeah, Zack’s hand is clammy too, but Cloud finds he doesn’t mind. Zack’s shoulders sit higher than Cloud’s and he bumps into his arm as they skate side by side.

One foot after the other, their fingers slide and squeeze. Zack’s thumb pets over his own, and it tingles. Cloud looks up and finds Zack already staring at him. Disco lights shine in circles around the rink –and they light up pink, blue, and yellow as they skate into different spotlights. 

“Why did you bring me here?” Cloud asks.

Zack smiles toothlessly and squeezes his hand.

“Because you deserve to be properly romanced.”

A wave of attraction washes through him so strong, it nearly knocks Cloud off his feet.

The girl in front of them trips, bringing her date down with her. Cloud puts on the brakes, but Zack has to throw himself out of the way as not to run over their fingers. Cloud catches him around the waist without even thinking.

Everything stops. Zack stares up at him with humorously wide eyes. Cloud is still on autopilot, and it takes him too long to realize he’s just French dipped Zack over his knee in the middle of the entire rink.

Zack laughs breathily, breaking the moment.

“Wow, my hero.”

The world starts to spin again, and Cloud scrambles to pull Zack back to his feet.

“Sorry!” The girl waves.

“It’s fine! Are you guys okay?”

“Yes, thank you.”

The couple skates off to the wall, and Cloud crosses his arms, embarrassed as Zack turns towards him.

“Nice catch.”

“Hm. You okay?”

“Yeah.” Everyone outside the rink is staring, so Zack extends his hand. “Do you want to go grab some pizza?”

Cloud takes his hand.

“Not really.” 

* * *

Zack makes them skate a few more laps before they pack up and leave. There are teenagers underage drinking out of their jeeps, kids having fights in the lot and others setting fire to trashcans, so it’s time to dip.

“Man, that pizza was just as bad as I remembered,” Zack sighs.

Cloud nods, “I think it’s amazing that someone can make pizza slimy.”

“I guess it’s a part of the _Roller Palace_ experience,” Zack shrugs.

Cloud wants to complain more, but he can’t bring himself to. There is this magical power that comes with hanging out with Zack, where Cloud just completely loses track of time.

Cloud doesn’t realize he’s still holding Zack’s hand when they reach their bikes. He pulls away self-consciously and pockets his hands in his jacket. Zack looks disappointed, but doesn’t say so.

“Do you want me to drive you home?” Zack asks.

Cloud pulls up his sleeve and looks at his watch.

“It’s almost midnight. You don’t have to.”

“I want to.”

The drive is too short. The sound of their bikes and the smell of the open road is like a warm hug, and it feels cold when they park again.

Zack heats him back up with a smile, hanging his helmet on his handlebar and swinging a long leg off his seat.

“What was with that turn, dude?”

“Shut up.”

“I thought you were going to break the back tire loose.” Zack walks with him towards the stairs, and elbows him playfully. “Are you that excited to get away from me?”

Cloud rolls his eyes, but smiles, “Not everything is about you.”

They climb the stairs together, and Zack drags his gloved hand up the railing. He gives Cloud a long, heavy look, and it feels like a weight around his neck.

“You have a beautiful smile,” Zack says. Cloud’s face goes warm. His feet stop at his doormat, but he doesn’t reach for his keys. Zack’s presence doesn’t demand anything from him; Cloud realizes it never has.

_You too,_ Cloud wants to say.

“So, did you have fun tonight?”

“Yeah.” Cloud looks up. “I guess you get to stay past closing again.” 

Zack’s shoulders shake with a quiet laugh, and his eyes look sparkly, like a reflective pool.

“I’m glad. I’d miss your coffee.”

Cloud’s stomach is doing summersaults. Something is keeping him from opening his door, some unknown force tying his feet to the ground. It’s a slow realization, something Cloud has been putting off for a while now.

“You should feel proud of yourself,” Cloud says.

Zack tips his head, “Is that right?”

“Mm. You made me eat my words.”

Cloud can see the moment Zack figures out what he’s referencing. His eyes widen, but the rest of his face stays guarded.

_I will never give you my phone number_

Zack steps closer, and the metal balcony squeaks.

_I will never go on a date with you_

Cloud doesn’t look away.

_And I will never like you_

Zack slips a gloved hand behind his neck, cradling the back of his head in a strong grip. Cloud urges him on without moving, his shoulders squared, and his feet planted firm.

_So fucking get over it!_

It was a to-do list, and Cloud didn’t even realize it.

“Have you ever kissed anyone?” Zack asks.

Cloud can smell his cologne.

“No,” Cloud says.

Zack tips his head, and Cloud follows his lead. Their noses brush first – and then Zack is kissing him, and Cloud is surrounded on all sides. The hand at his neck is like an anchor, and Cloud tips his jaw up so Zack doesn’t have to lean down so far, and it’s like a fire in his mouth.

Cloud has never kissed anyone before, but it’s not that hard. The first one is gentle, and then Zack tightens his grip and kisses harder, and Cloud is a quick learner. He kisses back and hopes Zack can’t feel how fast his heart is beating. It’s…good. Cloud gets it now.

“So…” Zack pulls away barely an inch, “Does this mean you like me?”

Cloud can see all his lashes. All the old acne scars and the beauty marks. Cloud’s hands are clenched at his side, but he reaches between them and slides his hand along the scar at Zack’s jaw. It’s baby smooth. Zack shaved before their date.

“Yes.”

Zack leans back down and kisses him, and Cloud can feel how he relieved he is just through his mouth. How much heartache has Cloud put him through?

He squishes Zack’s ear against his fingers and holds on. It’s passionate, almost desperate, and Cloud can taste him brimming with restraint. Cloud is shocked to find that he _wants_ to kiss back. He wants to just – close his eyes and let go _._ It’s scary, but he can’t remember why.

Zack’s hands stay respectfully above his shoulders, and after a moment, he pulls away.

“I have to go,” Zack exhales. “Or I won’t.”

Cloud’s head is spinning so badly, he can’t come up with a coherent response. He ends up blurting the first thought on his mind.

“You kiss good.”

Zack laughs under his breath, and swipes his gloved hand along his cheek.

“Oh my gods, I want to eat you up. I have to go, I’ll see you next week, okay?”

“Whatever,” Cloud snaps, but realizes he hasn’t let go of Zack’s jacket lapel yet. Embarrassed, he goes to yank his hands away, but Zack catches one by the wrist, and kisses his palm again.

“Goodnight, beautiful.”

“Don’t be gross,” Cloud snaps, but it comes out way too fond. He secretly watches Zack drive away from behind his curtains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3YSUvYDJ6R4)   
> 


	4. Chapter 4

“Hello? _Hellooo?_ Earth to Cloud?” Tifa waves her hand in Cloud’s face. “Anyone in there?”

“Hm?”

“I said we’re doing shots, are you interested?”

“Nn.”

“Fuck me,” Tifa pinches the bridge of her nose. “Forget him, he’s a lost cause.”

“I guess you could say he’s got –” Biggs puts on sunglasses, “— his head in the clouds.”

Jessie throws popcorn across the room, “Boooo.”

“I’ll take care of this,” Barret declares. He stomps over to the couch and lifts Cloud up and over his shoulder. Cloud startles.

“Huh – what?! Barret, what the hell!”

Barret jostles him around the same way you’d shake a protein bottle, and sets him back on the couch. Hair everywhere, Cloud glares up at him with murderous intent.

“There he is!” Barret smiles.

“ _Shots,_ ” Tifa spells slowly. “Yes or no.”

“No!” Cloud barks, and crosses his arms. “You could’ve just asked, jeez.”

“Oh my god.”

Aerith cackles from the kitchen. She's sitting on the kitchen counter in a bunny onesie like that's a normal thing people do. 

“What’s his deal?” Wedge asks.

“Well, you see…” Tifa trails off. Aerith waves her hand around.

“I’ll show you.” Aerith raises her voice. “Hey, does anyone know if Zack is coming?”

Cloud perks up.

“No, he’s working at the shop this weekend.”

Aerith makes a _there you have it_ gesture, and Wedge goes “Ahhhh.”

“It’s a shame you two can’t snuggle!” Aerith winks. Cloud sinks back down and stews.

“I don’t – I’m not a – _shut up._ ”

“Mister tough guy is full of a thick gooey center,” Jessie teases, poking his socked foot. Cloud pulls back his foot like she’s got cooties.

“The best ones are, kid,” Barret declares. “Just you wait ‘till you get your own little ones. Then the gig is up.”

“I’m giving you a shot anyways,” Tifa says. “It looks like you need it.”

Cloud takes it reluctantly and sniffs. Ugh, tequila.

“I work tomorrow,” Cloud mutters. “At _your_ café.”

“Then don’t be a little pussy about it,” Tifa sings, and knocks back her shot. Cloud sighs and takes his too.

Tifa’s apartment always smells like flowers and perfume. It’s nice, except when you’re drunk. Then it makes you want to barf.

Cloud gets dragged into a party game, and it’s fine, until Tifa starts to drunkenly snuggle into Aerith’s lap.

Barret is shuffling cards between rounds, and Tifa mumbles something like _lub you_ against Aerith’s mouth, and Cloud’s stomach starts to coil.

He can’t stop thinking about that kiss on his doorstep. Like. _Seriously_ can’t stop thinking about it. Cloud has seen people kiss a million times on tv and in movies and in real life and those were all _nothing_ like what Zack did to him last night. You might as well have poured oil in his mouth and lit a match.

Cloud has remained sexually inactive for, he would say, his entire life – but now his brain has chosen to pick apart every memory of Zack and lay them out on a bed of roses. Like the scar between his pecs, and the extra metal pierced in his ears, and how good he smells and how tall he is –

“—ud! _CLOUD!!!”_

He jerks to the present, and stares back at Jessie. 

“What?”

“Your turn.”

“Oh.”

“Alright that’s it, you’re disqualified.”

* * *

Zack stops by around his usual time on Tuesday. There was a rush this afternoon, so Cloud is still sweeping the floor when the doorbell chimes. Zack switches the sign and slides his backpack to the floor as he enters.

“Hey, gorgeous. How’s my favorite little witch?”

Having forgotten about the hat Aerith forced him to wear, Cloud rips it off and chucks it on top of the pastry display.

“Ha-ha. How was class?”

“Amazing! I got a C on that assignment!”

Cloud sets his broom against the wall and rounds the counter.

“You did?”

“Yup. I even did better than some of the students who added lots of fancy stuff. The professor said they had _missed_ _the point of the assignment.”_

Cloud softens. “See, I told you.”

“I’m glad I listened.” Zack picks up a coffee cup sitting on the counter, because his name is written across the front. “What is this?”

“Yours,” Cloud says.

Zack lights up, “You made me coffee already? But I didn’t even pay.”

Cloud shrugs, “It’s on the house. I was…experimenting. Open it.”

Zack pops the lid on the coffee cup, and gasps.

“It’s a dog!!”

“Tifa wants to get into latte art,” Cloud sighs. “I think it’s a complete waste of time. All it does is create more work for – _ooh!”_

Cloud wheezes as Zack hugs him tight. His arms squeeze so strong, that Cloud feels it in his spine.

“You made me a coffee dog!”

“I – did –”

“I love it,” Zack beams, and Cloud breathes in when he lets go. “How did you know I love dogs?”

Cloud looks at his big puppy eyes, and hums.

“I took a wild guess.”

“Well, you nailed it. By the way, I’m going to be the only one at the shop tonight if you want to come hang out,” Zack offers.

“It’s Tuesday, so I’m actually supposed to meet Barret at the gym in half an hour.”

“Ahhh that is right,” Zack waves. “It’s fine, no biggie.”

Cloud picks at his nail and keeps a blank face.

“Are you…busy this weekend?”

“Nope! I was going to ask if you wanted to go out again on Saturday.”

“Not anywhere stupid, I hope.”

“Come on, you had _fun._ ”

“Whatever,” Cloud rolls his eyes. “Should I pick _you_ up this time?”

Zack’s face expression is unreadable; he nods seriously, with a touched look in his eyes.

“I’d like that.”

Cloud waves his hand around, “Well you don’t have to make such a big deal –”

Zack tips his jaw and kisses him. By the time Cloud wraps his head around it, Zack is already pulling back.

“Sorry,” Zack mumbles.

Cloud frowns, “You stop that,” but accepts a second kiss. Ugh, he's become such a sucker. 

“I’ll text you.”

“Just call me,” Cloud roll his eyes. “It’s easier.”

Zack nods, and takes his puppy coffee.

“That’s a promise!”

Cloud barely meets Barret in time. He showers at the gym, and Zack calls him on his drive home, and Cloud almost forgets to throw water on the cactus as he enters his apartment.

* * *

The doorbell rings an hour before he’s supposed to meet Zack, and for a minute, he’s worried they had a miscommunication. Cloud does not open the door when he looks through the peephole.

Tifa bangs repeatedly, _“Open up, Cloud!”_

Sighing, Cloud pulls the chain on the door. Aerith and Tifa walk through with bags in their hands.

“Sure, come on in," Cloud says sarcastically. 

_“Zack_ told me you guys are going out again tonight,” Aerith accuses.

Cloud blinks.

“Um. Yeah. Is that a problem?”

“Well yes, it’s your third date,” Tifa crosses her arms. “Are you going out like that?”

Cloud looks at his clothes. He’s wearing jeans and a t-shirt.

“So what if I am?”

Aerith sighs, “I’m glad we made it in time. Don’t worry, we’ll fix you up.”

Cloud steps backwards, shoulders tensing. He knows where this is going.

“Now you wait a minute…”

“This is your chance to really wow him! Show Zack what to stick around for!”

“He already knows what I dress like. Why would I wear something nice?” Cloud’s back hits the wall, “W-We’re not even going anywhere fancy.”

“You’re going to a _bar,_ ” Aerith smiles. “Bars are sexy.”

Cloud puts up an ample fight, but Tifa is stronger than she looks. They pin him down to put in dangly earrings instead of studs, and he is forced into a crew-neck and a black denim jacket. Cloud pulls at the studded leather collar and complains,

“Why am I even wearing this?”

“Because it makes you look _hot,_ Cloud,” Tifa snaps twice. “Get with the program.”

Cloud snatches the eyeliner out of Aerith’s hand before she can even _think_ about it.

“Nope.”

Aerith pouts, but it won’t work this time.

Besides the jewelry, none of this is _too_ out of his comfort zone. Tifa brought him pants from god knows where, and they’re tighter than what Cloud usually wears. But he can recognize himself in the mirror, so at least there’s that. Tifa wanted to try something with his hair, but it's a lost cause; his hair is doomed to take that spikey shape forever. 

The girls look way too satisfied with themselves from their perch on his bed. 

“Look at that butt!” Aerith laughs.

“I know, I can’t believe he has one.”

“I’m changing,” Cloud says.

“Nooo! Tifa grab him!”

* * *

Cloud double checks the address before ringing the doorbell. Zack’s house is in a neighborhood ten minutes from campus, and everything looks the same in the suburbs, but Cloud recognizes his bike parked in the driveway.

The door is answered by Not-Zack.

“Heyyy! It’s the cute barista!” Reno grins. “You must be here for Zack. Damn, I am such a great wingman.”

Cloud blinks slowly. Oh right, Zack’s roommate.

“Don’t even try to take any credit for this,” Cloud gripes. 

Reno leans up against the door and looks over his shoulder, “Sheesh, he’s kind of a bitch, isn’t he?”

Zack’s voice echoes from down the hall, “Yeah, but I like him that…way…” Zack stops in his living room and blinks. Cloud is nosey and peeks into his house, and it’s surprisingly clean. No shoes thrown around, no clothes or trash, and the furniture isn’t necessarily _expensive,_ but it looks like everything has a place.

Zack is still staring like an idiot, and Reno is cackling.

“Wow. I never thought I’d see the day where _Fair_ is speechless.”

“You look great,” Zack blurts. Cloud is a hundred percent done with this entire situation, so he jerks his head towards their bikes.

“Come on.”

“R-right.”

“Be safe kiiids,” Reno sings. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do! Use protection!”

“Suck a dick,” Zack waves cheerily.

“I won’t, but you will!”

Zack slams the door back in his face. Cloud has already started down the driveway, and Zack jogs to catch up with him.

“Sorry about him,” Zack laughs. “You look – really fucking good. I said that already, shit.”

“This is the girls’ fault,” Cloud sighs, turning back around when Zack grabs his wrist. “I know I should’ve just taken this stuff off…”

Zack dips down and pecks his mouth, pulling back quick and hovering in his face. Cloud feels his irritation bubble away like Alka seltzer.

“Don’t,” Zack rasps.

His voice rolls down Cloud’s spine. The husky tone of it sets all his hair on end. For a single horrifying moment, Cloud is worried his knees might buckle. He manages to nod curtly and spin on his heel before he can embarrass himself.

“Let’s go.”

“Okay!” Zack smiles.

* * *

They get bar food and watch whatever sports game is on TV. It's best to stay safe and stick to beer, which Cloud isn’t much of a fan of, but it loosens up his nerves.

Zack tells him all about the el camino he got to do body work for, and he goes on about his thesis for one of his classes, and his laugh makes Cloud feel like he doesn’t have to be on edge. Like he can sit back, and not worry about anything.

“But anyways, I have to meet a study group next Thursday, so I’ll probably be doomed to gas station coffee.”

“You’re so busy, I don’t know how you get any sleep,” Cloud comments.

“I don’t sleep much as it is, so it’s not like I’m missing out on anything,” Zack shrugs. “Waking up at o-six-hundred is a hard habit to break.”

Cloud picks off the fry basket and studies Zack’s expression. This bar specifically is full of the rough and tough types, but something about Zack’s aura exudes a _fuck with me and find out the consequences_ kind of message, and Cloud assumes his overall demeanor only adds to that.

“Why did you leave the military?”

Zack hums, and wipes away the condensation on his glass with his thumb.

“It wasn’t voluntary.”

“Wait, what?” Cloud sits upright.

“Aerith never told you, did she?”

Aerith has been surprisingly tight lipped about Zack. Cloud wasn’t suspicious about it, until now.

“No…”

“I did a whole year of college from my hospital room,” Zack says. He tugs up the hem of his shirt, and the scar on his sternum is revealed to be much, much larger than Cloud was anticipating. “I got bored sitting around for so long.”

Cloud’s chest knots. He swallows thickly, and follows the horrible, twisted skin of his scar until it’s gone under the table. Zack neatly fixes his shirt, and Cloud is at a loss for words.

“You…were discharged.”

“Permanently,” Zack nods. Cloud doesn’t want to ask what happened, but Zack tells him. “It was a hatchet. Crazy, huh? All that combat training, and it’s the hand-to-hand that nearly kills me.”

Cloud feels like he’s going to be sick. He steers his expression and pushes the fry basket away from himself; the smell is turning his stomach.

“But…you’re okay, right?”

“Right as rain,” Zack smiles, and happily eats the rest of the fries. “All I lost was my gallbladder. Lucky, right?”

The bar cheers as a team scores on the TV. It draws their attention, and the music is drowned out through chatter. Cloud gets a hold on himself and meets Zack’s eye again.

“I’m glad you’re okay.”

“Hey, me too,” Zack smiles. “But enough of that. How’s the latte art going?”

Cloud sighs and sets his head in his hand, “Don’t get me started.”

“Guess what, I’m going to.”

They sit in the bar for so long, that they start getting looks from the staff that Cloud knows as _get the hell out of here so I can go home,_ and Cloud is beyond sympathetic to that, so they pay and leave the restaurant.

He shows Zack a photo of Wedge’s attempt at a cat latte art, and Zack is laughing so hard, Cloud is concerned for his health. He keeps Zack moving with a tug of his hand, and stops him from stepping off the curb and into the planter.

“Watch your step, idiot.”

“It looks like a dick,” Zack cackles. “I don’t even know how he did that. Cats aren’t even phallic.”

“As opposed to…”

“Worms,” Zack lists. “Or snakes.”

“I don’t think anyone is going to ask for worm coffee…” Cloud pauses. “I think.”

Zack’s fingers squeeze between his own. Neither of them let go, even as they approach the dreaded parking lot. Cloud gets caught up in his pretty eyes again; the streetlamp lights up all the sharp angles of his face.

Zack awkwardly scratches the back of his head and coughs, “So um. I know it’s dumb, but I don’t want to go home yet. How do you feel about going for a drive?”

Cloud’s eyes light up against his own will.

“Where to?”

“Anywhere,” Zack grins.

The confident look on Zack’s face is frustratingly attractive. 

“Can you keep up?” 

“Can _you?”_

They reluctantly let go of each other in lieu of putting on their gear. Cloud can feel excitement on his tongue, especially as Zack slides on that helmet. Cloud didn’t even know he was into that. He didn’t know he was into a lot of this.

Anywhere, huh?

The city looks different at night. The streets are illuminated with a rainbow of neon. You can hear muffled laughter from the bars, and the traffic is light at this hour. They ride down the street side by side, and Cloud grows eager as Zack leads them towards the freeway entrance.

This highway runs straight out of town, so they gun it the further away they get. Faster and faster they go – Cloud feels the air whip around him, his motorcycle pushing itself to the max as Zack keeps right with him. They separate to dart around cars, but Zack is _always_ there when Cloud looks for him.

Cloud leans further over his bike and revs the gas. Zack’s engine growls louder, and Cloud smiles as he hears Zack go flying past his left side. They take a split off the road, and go up the highway near one of the mountains. There are wide turns, but they keep hip to hip, and the adrenaline rush is amazing.

They’re speeding _way_ past the speed limit, but Cloud doesn’t care. The farther they drive the lighter he feels. You can see more stars out here — and soon it’s the only light they have, other than their headlights.

Zack decides to tease him, and rides in front, cutting off his tire just barely. Cloud darts around him and does the same, and he can almost hear Zack’s laugh over the wind against his helmet.

They ride further up the mountain. Cloud hasn’t seen a car for miles, and the stars look like a million needles poked in the sky. The sheer speed has his heart racing, and every time Zack darts ahead, falls behind, or rides close to his side, Cloud feels his body run hot, like he’s been washed with boiling water.

Something about this is turning him on. Cloud does not want to admit it, but it’s true. He can’t read Zack’s expression behind the helmet, but he has complete control over his bike. He’s aware of every turn of his tire, every corner they drift around.

A _‘road closed ahead’_ sign catches his attention. Cloud sees a split in the asphalt, where the mountain cracked about six feet wide. Zack starts to wave at him to slow down, but Cloud’s heart thumps in his ears, and a voice in the back of his head says, _I could jump that._

He speeds up, and Zack shouts against the wind.

_“CLOUD, DON’T!!”_

A rare competitiveness is sitting in his core. And besides, it’s too late now. Cloud pulls up on his bike and jumps the gap. His tire wiggles as it hits the ground, and Cloud breaks to slow down his momentum. The back tire breaks loose and starts to spin, but Cloud sees a patch of grass at the side of the road, so he tucks and rolls. His bike skids into the divider.

Cloud rolls to his back, and stares at the stars. He pops off his helmet — and for a moment, all he can hear is his breathing.

Cloud can’t help it. He begins to laugh _hysterically._

Up the road is the sound of a gunned engine, and tires skidding to a halt. Zack hops off his bike and darts across the grass, yelling, “Cloud!! Fuck, are you okay?!”

Of course Zack jumped it without a problem. Cloud clutches his sides, his stomach cramping from laughing so hard.

Zack pops off his helmet and hovers over him in shock. When he sees that Cloud is okay, he shakes his head in disbelief. 

“Oh my god, you’re fucking crazy!”

Cloud wipes his eyes and breathes deep to control his laughter. It feels like he’s shed a second skin. His voice still sounds giggly.

“I just wrecked my bike.”

“I can fix it,” Zack says.

They stare at each other; Cloud on his back and Zack kneeling over him in concern. The adrenaline has every hair on edge, and Zack is _right there._

Cloud grabs him by the neck and rolls them until Zack is pressed in the grass. He plants his hand by his head and kisses him rough and messy and passionate. Zack makes a surprised noise, but gets with the program immediately. Gloves are yanked off quickly, and Zack’s arms wrap around his waist and pull him close, chest to chest.

Cloud chokes a sound into his mouth. He’s bleeding a little from the scrapes on his arm, but he can’t feel the pain. Zack’s hand digs into his hair, and all Cloud can focus on is sliding their lips together.

His stomach drops when Zack slips his tongue in his mouth. It catches him off guard enough for Zack to flip them again. They’re touching everywhere – Cloud threads his fingers into black strands and pulls, biting back noises as Zack kisses hotly into his neck right above the leather collar. 

“You gave me,” Zack kisses, “a fucking heart attack.”

Zack grinds his thigh between Cloud’s legs, and because Cloud is already hard, he moans _horribly._ He bites his tongue in embarrassment, but Zack drops his forehead to Cloud’s sternum and groans.

“Fucking Shiva, listen to you.”

Cloud is shaking. The grass is a little dewy, but Zack is surrounded by a thousand stars, and Cloud is suddenly oblivious of anything other than Zack taking charge, his strong thigh between his legs.

Cloud croaks his name – and Zack grinds hard against him, moving their bodies further up the grass. Cloud gasps and clings onto Zack’s shoulders.

“Fuck, I –” Cloud throbs, his groin growing tight. “ _Zack._ ”

“Thank you Ramuh,” Zack prays. “Thank you Bahamut, Ifrit –”

Cloud kisses him. His hands smother along his cheeks, feverish and desperate to have Zack _shut up._ Zack is all thick muscle, and his thigh grinds right where Cloud needs it. He moans through his teeth, head knocking back into the grass.

“ _Ah!_ Z-Zack, careful.”

He doesn’t listen. They grind together with no rhythm; Zack sucks wetly on his throat, and his voice takes on that husk again.

“It’s okay baby, ride me – I’ll catch you.”

Cloud chokes. His pants are so tight his cock is trapped up against his fly, and it hurts – but it feels so good, his brain can’t process it all. He pushes back against Zack, and he makes a hum of approval.

“That’s right, sweetheart. Fuck me, you sound so hot – I want to hear everything, please –”

Cloud doesn’t have a say in the matter. He is actually going to come in his pants if Zack doesn’t pull the plug right now.

“Zack, I’m going to – if you d-don’t stop…”

Zack’s growl runs right through him, and that’s it. Cloud is no longer in control. He digs his heel in the ground and bucks up right as Zack cants his hips downward, and Cloud tenses, seizing and crying out nonsense as everything builds to a crest.

Zack shushes him, kissing his cheek and his ear and his jaw, and Cloud rides his thigh until his ears are no longer ringing. He goes momentarily numb, and it takes him a second to feel Zack kissing at his hairline.

“Holy shit,” Zack whispers. Crickets are singing, and a frog croaks off in the grass. 

Cloud settles a moment, blinks, and then whacks Zack at the shoulder.

“Are you serious, Zack?!”

“What?!” Zack sits back, face red and flustered. “You started that!”

“I know but – I have to drive home!” Cloud flounders. Zack sits back on his heels and looks him over, and he looks like a _wolf,_ not a man. Cloud feels like meat on a platter, and his dick is a traitor, because it gives a solid throb when he sees the bulge in Zack’s jeans.

“I have napkins in my console,” Zack offers.

“I. _Hate_ you.”

“Hey, that’s what you get for taking ten years off my life. I’m going to have grey hairs after all this.”

Cloud sighs and drops his head back in the grass. He feels gross, but the fuzzy afterglow eases the irritation.

“Just get me the damn napkins.”

Zack stands up and hobbles towards his bike, and Cloud’s treacherous body gives another throb when he watches Zack quickly readjust himself in his jeans. 

“Are you okay enough to drive home?”

“Calm down, you’re not _that_ good.”

Zack laughs, and helps him to his feet.

“That fucking landing...oh boy, you’re going to feel it tomorrow.”

* * *

Cloud feels it tomorrow. Maybe throwing yourself off a bike at sixty miles per hour isn’t such a good idea.

Zack patted him down last night and declared him bruised, but okay. Cloud doesn’t get out of bed for most of Sunday, and when he does, it’s to make food and crawl back in bed.

A full twenty-four hours later, Cloud is still reeling from the fact that he _dry humped_ Zack on the side of a mountain road in the middle of the night. That adrenaline is one heck of a drug, shit.

Cloud smothers his pillow over his face and groans. It's embarrassing, but thinking about it is making him hard, too.

All of this is overwhelming. He hasn’t felt _so_ much since…since…

A long time.

There are too many emotions swirling around in his mind, and he struggles to find himself in it all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for all the nice comments :) i think we're looking at about seven or eight chapters. im just editing everything right now lol
> 
> if i got fifty shades of grey money & they said make a movie, id make[ this song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6SyhipxNGwM) play while they ride out of town


	5. Chapter 5

Well, Zack takes a look at his supersport, and it’s pretty busted. Zack says he’s going to need some new frames, so Cloud can say goodbye to his paint job.

The good news is Zack says he can have it fixed in about a week. The bad news is that Cloud doesn’t have a ride to work. Tifa doesn’t mind picking him up, but that’s because she doesn’t know _how_ he crashed it, and if Cloud has it his way, she will never, ever know.

He wears long sleeves to hide the purple bruises, and Tifa picks him up in her baby blue truck.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Fine.”

Cloud slams her door shut because the lock sticks. Tifa shifts it in gear and pops the clutch.

“Are you sure? Vincent can cover some shifts if you need more time to rest.”

“Trust me, Barret has put me through worse,” Cloud says. Tifa snorts, and checks her blind spot as she pulls out.

“Maybe I need to have a talk with him.”

“Don’t bother, he won’t listen.”

Tifa looks to him, and Cloud knows she’s staring at the dangly earrings he hasn’t taken out yet.

“So um, besides wrecking your bike…how did the rest of the date go?”

Cloud jingles the earrings with his finger and stares out the window.

“Uneventful.”

Tifa gets a shit-eating grin on her face, because she knows him better than anyone. Cloud glares a _try me and perish,_ and Tifa zips her lips shut.

* * *

“Wow, ten minutes,” Cloud says, checking his watch. “Did class get out early?”

“For a matter of fact, it did,” Zack beams. He leans over the counter to kiss Cloud hello. “This mine?”

“Yeah. Give me a few minutes to finish.”

“Okay, I won’t look,” Zack says.

Cloud focuses on shaping the whipped cream, but regards Zack with a tip of his head.

“So how is my bike looking?”

Zack whistles, facing his back to the counter and crossing his arms.

“Oh baby, she’s going to look _so_ fine after this. I’m going to mod her up so good, you should be able to make jumps like that in your sleep.” Zack hesitates, “Not that you ever _will,_ because you know. Grey hairs.”

“You might look good grey,” Cloud comments.

Zack spins around, “Is that a compliment?”

Cloud ignores him, and slides over the awaiting latte art. Zack excitedly peeks into the cup and gasps.

“Holy crap. Is that megaman?”

“You talked about that game for _two hours_ last week,” Cloud explains.

Zack whips out his phone to take a picture, “That is amazing. How do you get so much detail with _coffee?_ ”

“I moogled it.”

“You’re a modern day DaVinci, sweetheart,” Zack pecks him again, and Cloud hums. Zack sets down the coffee to give him a hug, and Cloud winces when he squeezes one of his bruises. “Shit –” Zack curses, pulling away. “How are you feeling?”

Cloud rolls his eyes, “Oh my god, I’m fine.”

“Show me.”

Cloud sighs and rolls up his sleeves. Zack inhales, eyes darkening into a stormy blue.

“Cloud…”

“I know, okay?”

Zack reads his testy attitude and backs off. Cloud is grateful.

“Just be sure to ice it, okay? Your elbows might be swollen.”

“Fine.”

The door chimes, and they both step apart as an older lady walks in.

“Excuse me??” She snaps her fingers. “Are you still open?”

Cloud internally sighs, and summons his customer service voice, which is just a _slightly_ less apathetic inflection than his normal voice.

“Yes. Can I help you, miss?”

Zack takes a back seat on the barstool and watches. The woman is extremely specific with her order, and Cloud doesn’t have the patience to make it twice, so he tries to get it right the first time. She’s out the door in five minutes, but not without commenting on the tackiness of their decorations and making some comment about improving the pastry options. Zack flips the closing sign after she leaves.

“She was a real charmer,” Zack says.

“That’s the normal around here.”

“I feel you. I’m always arguing with grown men about their trucks,” Zack scratches his jaw. “If all five of our mechanics are telling you you’ve got an issue, then you’ve got an issue, dude.”

“The human ego is amazing.”

“I think that’s what I’m going to name my next painting assignment.”

Cloud snorts, and Zack has that satisfied look on his face that he gets whenever he makes Cloud laugh.

Cloud works through his closing checklist, and when he’s all clocked out, he hangs up his apron and steps between Zack’s legs on the barstool.

“Are you my ride home?”

“Yes sir,” Zack purrs, and sweeps his fingers under Cloud’s jaw. Cloud is still growing used to all the small touches, but he’s getting better. He flinches a little, but Zack’s gentleness still makes him warm all over.

“Then let’s go.” 

“Your chariot awaits, your highness.”

It’s different riding on the back of someone else’s bike. Cloud prefers to be in control, but this is…unique, too. Cloud knows exactly when to lean, when to brace himself as Zack breaks, when to hold on as he speeds up. He keeps his hands on Zack’s shoulders, but he’s close enough to smell that leathery scent again. He’s not wearing cologne — Cloud is becoming a total weirdo, because he knows that already.

When they draw closer to his apartment, Cloud wraps his arms around Zack’s waist. Zack tenses, but relaxes just as fast.

The Cloud of the past would laugh at the Cloud he is now.

Zack drops him at his apartment stairs. He leaves his bike idling as Cloud dismounts.

“Thanks for the ride,” Cloud says.

“No problem, beautiful.”

“Headed to the shop?”

“Yup, I’m about to go fix up your bike,” Zack winks.

“How do you ever find the time to study?”

“I really don’t sleep,” Zack smiles. “I had your wonderful coffee, so I’ll be fine.”

Cloud forces his face blank, and hooks his hands in his pockets. “Um,” Cloud starts, but isn’t sure how to finish.

“What is it?”

“We don’t have to go out this weekend if you’re busy. But since I don’t have a bike…” Cloud shrugs. “You could come over and watch movies or something. I don’t know, whatever.”

Zack’s eyes soften.

“I’d like that.”

“Cool.”

Zack breathes a laugh out of his nose, and pops his helmet back on.

“ _Damn you’re fucking adorable.”_

“What was that?”

“See you later!” Zack waves. Cloud harrumphs and climbs the stairs to his apartment. He almost forgets to water the cactus.

* * *

“Oh my gods,” Zack cries, slipping off his shoes and stumbling into his apartment. “What have you done to that poor thing?”

Cloud stares between Zack and his open door. He shuts it slowly, and blinks as Zack cradles his cactus in his hands.

“Uh, I don’t know? I water it every day.”

“It’s so waterlogged, it’s not even flowering,” says Zack. He carries the cactus into the kitchen and cups his hand over the top, draining out the excess water. “It’s a _cactus,_ Cloud!”

“Well I don’t know anything about plants!” Cloud argues.

“If Aerith saw this she would have a heart attack.”

“Her fault then, she’s the one who gave it to me.”

Zack sees him pouting, and approaches after rinsing his hands. He hugs Cloud hello, and Cloud refuses to hug back.

“Aww, it’s okay, it’ll dry out after a few days. You just smothered it with too much love.”

“You can go home now,” Cloud muffles in his shoulder. “Bye.”

Zack hugs him tighter, and Cloud eventually caves in. He can feel Zack’s cheek brace on the side of his head.

“Your apartment is so cute. It smells like you.”

“That’s weird.”

“Is that your art on the wall?”

“Tifa made me hang it up.”

“So what kind of movies do you like?” Zack asks. Cloud leads them towards the couch.

“I’m not going to tell you or you’ll make fun of me.”

“Awww come on, I won’t! What’s your favorite movie?”

Cloud huffs as he grabs the remote and flops back on his couch.

“Django.”

“Holy crap, you’re a western fan!”

“I grew up on them, okay?”

“Hey, I’m a big sci-fi guy,” Zack says, and the couch shifts as he sits. “It’s practically the same thing.”

Cloud gives him a look.

“It’s practically _not._ Are you serious?”

“I’m totally serious.” Zack counts off his pinky, “The wild wild west versus uncharted galaxies, cowboy outlaws versus space bandits, Harrison Ford versus Harrison Ford. It’s the same thing!”

Cloud frowns. “I’m mad that you’re making sense right now.”

Zack slides his arm around the back of the couch, “I always make sense.”

They end up picking a sci-fi slash western to appease them both, and it’s kind of terrible. Cloud tries to pay attention, but he keeps losing focus. Zack’s arm remains around Cloud’s shoulders, and Cloud has never just _sat_ with Zack so long without him talking about something, and the longer they sit the more on edge Cloud becomes. He kicks his feet on the coffee table to try and relax, but Zack yanks him closer into his side, and he’s really warm.

“ _Hey_ ,” Cloud hisses.

“You’re too far,” Zack complains. Cloud breathes out of his nose and crosses his arms, and Zack’s attention is drawn back to the movie.

It’s only the afternoon, so you can still see the sun behind his closed curtains. It gives everything this warm hue, and Cloud ends up watching the light dance across the wall instead of the movie.

Zack’s breath falls across his ear.

“You’re distracted.”

Cloud startles.

“Stop that.”

“You’re jumpy, too,” Zack mumbles. “That’s so not like you. I watched you stare stone cold at a pistol in your face. What’s wrong?”

“It’s nothing,” Cloud grits.

Zack pulls his arm back and frowns, “Am I making you uncomfortable?”

“No.” Cloud tries to hunch down on the couch and become invisible. “Just watch the stupid movie.”

Zack studies him. His arm returns, and Cloud flinches as Zack trails his finger along his ear.

“Aw, come on sweetheart,” Zack pets him softly, like spooked dog. “Don’t be like that.” Cloud has officially checked out because he looks stupid, he’s acting stupid, he _knows_ he’s acting stupid, and this was a bad idea, he should’ve never invited Zack over –

Zack kisses his other ear, the one closest to him, as his fingers keep playing with the other.

“To be honest, I’m distracted too.” He kisses his temple. “You’re very distracting.”

Cloud freezes. His body goes tight, and he holds his breath as Zack turns his head by the jaw.

“That’s a you problem,” Cloud manages.

“Mmm. Come here.”

Cloud doesn’t know what deity takes over his body, but he allows Zack to nudge him into his lap. He straddles his thighs, and the action alone makes his heart race. Zack settles his large hands at his mid-back, and sitting like this, Cloud is slightly taller.

“We’re too big for this,” Cloud complains.

Zack hums and lightly kisses his cheek.

“I can’t stop thinking about you squirming all over my thigh. You were so responsive…” Zack slides his hand under the back of his shirt and runs his hand upward, and Cloud gasps. “You fucked up my whole week.”

“Is this why you came over?” Cloud croaks.

Zack’s callouses scratch along his spine.

“Is this why you invited me?”

Fuck this. Cloud kisses him. Zack squeezes close, and Cloud cups his jaw. It’s sharp, and he runs his thumb along the scar and shivers when Zack sucks on his bottom lip.

The sound of explosions echo on the TV. There’s yelling and the pop of a space gun, and Cloud tunes it out.

Zack grabs Cloud by the hips and grinds him into his lap, and Cloud gasps shallowly against his mouth, eyes flying open.

“That okay?” Zack asks.

Cloud feels back into his dark hair. It’s soft. 

“Yeah.”

They make out for so long, that Cloud starts to get past hard. Zack keeps his hands above his belt, playing with the skin of his lower back or petting over his abs, but Cloud makes the most sound when he squeezes his hips, and Zack picks up on that. He licks over Cloud’s tongue and taps his belt buckle.

“Can I take this off?”

Cloud’s heart flies into his mouth. It becomes hard to swallow, and it takes him a minute to blink through the arousal and the panic. But Zack is rubbing circles into his hipbones, and it’s making him fucking _hard,_ so Cloud nods.

The belt clicks and hisses as Zack undoes the buckle and pulls it through the loops. He sets it carefully aside, and kisses Cloud as he undoes his top button without looking.

“It was so dark, I couldn’t even see you,” Zack mumbles. Cloud holds his breath as he pets over the front of his jeans, before undoing the zipper. Cloud sits up to help Zack shimmy down his pants, and the furthest they’ll go is the top of his thighs. It makes it difficult to sit back down, but he doesn’t have to. Zack pulls down his underwear, and his cock snaps to his stomach, and Cloud digs his fingers into Zack’s neck as he wraps a hand around him.

_“Ahhn–”_

“Damn,” Zack curses, reverently tracing down to his balls. He pumps him once dryly, and it is _massively_ overstimulating. Cloud jerks away, and Zack spits into his palm and tries again. “Better?”

Cloud can’t answer. He hides his face in Zack’s hair and squirms in his lap; it takes all his concentration not to make noise. He fails when Zack starts up a rhythm and chalks over the head. His arms break out in goosebumps, and he hisses into Zack’s neck. The callouses make everything worse, somehow.

Cloud blinks when he realizes that Zack has goosebumps too. He can’t see Zack’s face, but he experimentally mouths along the side of his neck, and Zack vibrates a low sound in his chest.

“Stop that,” Zack mumbles. He nudges Cloud’s head back so he can watch his face. “You’re distracting me.”

“I…” Cloud squeezes his eyes shut as Zack rolls his wrist. He rocks his hips into his hand the best he can with his jeans shoved down like this. “Fuck Zack, _faster._ ”

Zack kisses him and does as he’s told. They make out, but it’s sloppy because Cloud’s brainpower is just not there. Zack’s free hand is running up and down his back, and Cloud whines, maybe.

“You are such a turn on,” Zack mumbles. “You can relax baby, it’s okay. I just want to see your face when you come, can you do that for me?”

 _“Zack,_ ” Cloud growls. Zack smiles into his mouth, and to Cloud’s own horror, that’s why he comes. His body rolls, and he claws into Zack’s shoulders, bonking their foreheads together as he gasps. Zack doesn’t stop jerking him off until his thighs are shaking. Cloud risks a glance downward, and he’s coated Zack’s hand entirely, and Cloud groans, squeezing his eyes shut and pressing his face into Zack’s shoulders.

“I’ll die happy now,” says Zack. Cloud mumbles something incoherent. Zack wipes his hand off on Cloud’s shirt.

“Thanks,” Cloud says flatly. Zack helps him tug his jeans back up, and Cloud yanks off his soiled shirt and tosses it. When he sits back down on Zack’s lap, Cloud realizes that he is _really_ hard. “Oh,” Cloud blurts. He drags his hand down to feel across him, but Zack catches his wrist.

“Don’t worry about it,” Zack says. Cloud blinks hazily.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Go grab a new shirt and I’ll dunk my head under the sink.”

Zack can tell that Cloud is overwhelmed. Cloud feels a little disappointed in himself, but it’s probably for the best. He leaves to change his shirt, and when he comes back, Zack’s hair is all wet.

* * *

The auto body shop Zack works for is a good twenty-minute drive from his apartment. Zack comes to pick him up after work on Monday, and they drive to see his finished bike.

Cloud has no idea what Zack did to it. All he knows is he picked out a color and a price point, and told Zack to do what he wanted. He’d been bugging him about it enough.

An older mechanic comes out to greet him, wiping his hands on his apron before extending a hand to Cloud. He has long, dark hair like Zack; they almost look related. 

“Hey there. You must be Cloud.”

“Hi.”

Zack walks his bike up the rest of the driveway, saying, “This is my boss, Angeal.”

“Nice to meet you,” Cloud nods.

“Your bike is in the back,” Angeal jabs. “Zack did a real nice job with it. I’ve never seen him put so much effort into a project.”

Zack rubs the back of his head, and Cloud digs his hands in his pockets.

“Really?”

“Yep. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. Go grab her, Fair.”

“Right,” Zack nods and jogs further into the garage. Cloud stands awkwardly by the entrance, and looks up at the car they currently have jacked up.

“You two close?” Angeal asks.

Cloud shrugs, “I guess.”

“I could tell. He’s a hard worker, that guy... but he was _real_ serious about getting your bike right.”

Cloud hums, and rolls his tongue along his teeth so he won’t smile. Zack appears with the supersport, and it looks good as new.

“New frames, brake pads, _and_ an improved exhaust,” Zack points. He revs the bike, and it sounds louder than before. “I tried to get it back to that baby blue color, but I uh…did a chrome shift instead.”

“It’s beautiful,” Cloud says before he’s realized it. He shuts his jaw, but Zack is already beaming.

“I know, right! Also, also, check this out –” Zack flips a switch, and the underframe lights up with LEDS. “Ta-da!”

Cloud drags his hand along the leather seat. It looks brand new. 

“Alright, calm down puppy,” Angeal says, patting Zack’s head. “Give him a second.”

“I like it,” Cloud says. Satisfied, Zack sets his hands on his hips.

“Now be careful next time,” Angeal says, handing him the keys. “Zack did most of the custom work off the clock, so you’ll be paying half the price. But if you wreck it again it’ll be a pretty penny.”

Cloud looks to Zack, who glances away, playing naïve. Cloud’s heart squeezes.

“I’ll be careful.”

Angeal nods, and jerks his head towards the help desk, urging Cloud to follow. Cloud hovers for a moment, and looks up to Zack. He’s still turned away, and Cloud taps his elbow to get his attention.

Zack’s head whips over, “Hm?”

Cloud grabs his hand and squeezes it.

“Thank you.”

Zack inhales, and squeezes back, “You’re welcome.”

Cloud lets go and follows Angeal before he notices he’s gone.

* * *

“This is, by far, the worst idea you’ve ever had.”

“We need to get more customers in the building, Cloud!” Tifa argues. “Besides, the costume cost me sixty bucks to rent. I’m going to get my damn money out of it.”

“Come to _Seventh Heaven,_ where the coffee is pumpkin and the breads are full of lemon,” Yuffie repeats, waving to passing cars in a coffee cup costume. The logo on the front has been obviously taped over with white duct tape.

“I’m embarrassed to know you right now,” Cloud says.

Tifa crosses her arms, “If it makes money, then fine by me. I’ll embarrass you all day long.”

“Samples! Get your samples!”

“Why is she yelling like a hotdog vendor? This isn’t a baseball game.”

“I don’t know, she’s sixteen. I told her just to get people in the cafe.”

“Oh, so now you’ve resorted to child labor?”

“Cloud, I’m not afraid to come over there and snap your neck.”

“Excuse me, HR,” Cloud says flatly into his phone-hand. “My boss just threatened me with violence.”

Tifa glares murderously from across the café.

“Hello there, sir!” Yuffie offers a plate of samples to a man in a business suit. “Would you like to try some of our magical pumpkin spice lattes?”

“No thanks.”

“It’ll fix that receding hairline!”

The man gives her a scandalized look, and Tifa sighs into her hand.

“Okay. Maybe I was a little misguided.”

“You think?”

* * *

Zack keeps a clean bedroom. The bed is made so tight, you could bounce a coin off of it. It’s kind of a shame that they’ve trashed the sheets.

It actually isn’t Cloud’s fault. Cloud was invited over to help give advice on Zack’s art assignment, and Zack rolled him onto the bed and sucked him off five minutes in.

With his pants thrown across the room, shirt hiked to his collarbone, Cloud stares at the ceiling and tries to catch his breath. Zack is still biting gentle marks into his inner thighs, and Cloud weakly twitches.

“Your hair tickles.”

Zack snorts, and kisses his softening cock.

“Is that all you have to say?”

“Uh, thanks for the orgasm?”

Zack exhales a laugh, and gives his thigh another squeeze.

“You’re unbelievable.”

“Believe it,” Cloud says, eyes on the ceiling.

Zack pets down to his inner knees, and around to his hips. “You have amazing legs. I bet you’d look killer in heels.”

“Not in a million, trillion years.”

Zack climbs up his body, and Cloud accepts a kiss even though his mouth tastes tangy.

“A trillion and one?” Zack asks.

“Maybe.”

Cloud tangles his fingers in his hair, and Zack hums contently. Cloud is feeling particularly relaxed today, and something about Zack’s weight over him makes him sleepy. But Zack is still hard against his leg, and Cloud has been having a lot of weird dreams lately.

He palms Zack through his jeans, and Zack exhales heavily. Cloud does so again, and they both jump when the front door slams.

Muffled laughter enters the house. Zack looks over his shoulder at the locked bedroom door.

“Ah. Reno is back.”

Cloud doesn’t care right now. He tries to wiggle his hand back between them, but Zack catches his wrist. 

“What?”

“Sneaky sneaky,” Zack tsks. He pins Cloud’s hand back to the bed. “Sorry, but if Reno brought our friends, they’ll barge right in here.”

“The door is locked.”

“They’ve broken it before,” Zack mutters. He rolls to his side, and Cloud pouts. Zack pokes his side, “Come on. We can go grab lunch.”

“But I didn’t even help with your art homewo—” Cloud stops, and sits upright. “That’s not why you asked me over.” Zack grins, and Cloud rolls his eyes. “You could’ve just asked.”

“That’s no fun.”

Bang bang bang!

_“Zacky wacky? You got a girl in there?”_

Bang bang!

_“Hey missy, Zack picks his nose!”_

“That’s not true,” Zack says.

_“And he eats mac and cheese in his underwear.”_

“That’s kind of true,” Zack admits.

Cloud wiggles on his pants and lifts an eyebrow.

“Why?”

“I don’t really know. Mac and cheese is the most enjoyable when you’re half-naked.”

Cloud opens the door, and Zack’s friends are hovering in the entryway. One drops his fist; a man Cloud recognizes as Roche. 

“Oh hey, we know you! You’re that barista.”

“Howdy,” Cloud says flatly. He tries to elbow past them, but he’s blocked off again.

“Damn, I really thought Zack struck out with you.”

“Alright guys, move it,” Zack nudges them aside. They step out into the living room, where Reno is sitting on the couch with Rude.

“Sup, hottie,” Reno waves. Zack steps forward like he’s going to bark at him, but Cloud replies first.

“Not much, ugly.”

Reno makes a scandalized face, and all of Zack’s friends start to laugh.

“Alright, stick around, you’re cool,” Rude says. Zack is _dying_ laughing, and Reno crosses his arms and looks away.

“Bitch. And after all I’ve done for you.”

A voice comes from the kitchen.

“What’s going on in here?”

Cloud turns, and his stomach drops into the balls of his feet. His entire world freezes over, and he stops breathing entirely. It’s like someone pressed the pause button and tore out his lungs.

Long white hair, a cold, cutting expression — Cloud knows it anywhere. 

“Oh hey, I don’t think you’ve met yet,” Zack says. He gestures to the tall man across the room and says, “This is Sephiroth. He transferred last year, I think. He’s batshit crazy because he’s going for a doctorate, but he’s cool.”

Sephiroth rolls his eyes, and Cloud can’t move. Sephiroth is looking right at him. Sephiroth is _here._

Cloud is frozen solid in horror. Sephiroth gives him a blank look.

_He doesn’t recognize me._

A chill comes through the house. Zack picks up on the bad energy and clears his throat, trying to clear the air.

“Um, anyways. This is –”

“I have to go,” Cloud states. He stomps past the couch, snatches up his shoes and runs out the door in his socks. The door slams behind him, but it opens and closes a moment later. Zack chases after him.

“Cloud! Hey – Cloud, what’s wrong?”

He fishes around for his keys as he steps into his shoes. He can’t breathe, he can’t fucking _breathe._

“Nothing. I’m going home.”

Zack’s voice is full of concern. He grabs for his shoulder, “Hey, calm down –”

Cloud’s heart lurches. Ice water runs down his back, and his fight or flight kicks in, and he slaps Zack’s hand away roughly.

“Don’t fucking _touch me!”_

Zack rips his hand back. He stares, wide eyed and hurt. He lets his hand fall.

“Cloud…please. Tell me what’s going on.”

It’s all rushing around his head, a million emotions in front of his eyes. Cloud hops on his bike and starts the ignition, peeling out of the driveway and leaving a cloud of burnt rubber. He can see Zack standing on the end of the driveway, and Cloud turns his rear-view mirror so he can no longer see him. 

This is impossible. Cloud was supposed to never, ever see that man again. There’s no way — no way in hell. 

_Why would he transfer here?_

Cloud blinks back the burn in his eyes and grits his teeth as he speeds through a red light.

_Of all the places in the world, why here?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (TW for future chapters, theres no noncon in this fic, but definitely a (past) uncomfortable situation and a misunderstanding that can be interpreted differently on a personal level. If u think that might be a trigger for you, this is your warning for future chapters. Thanks :)


	6. Chapter 6

Cloud is in his head for the rest of the week. He ignores all of Zack’s calls, and locks himself in his apartment like a hermit.

It’s not Zack’s fault. But Cloud just – he can’t do this right now. He doesn’t want anyone to touch him, speak to him, or even _look_ at him. He calls out at the café for a few days. Tifa is concerned but understanding.

Cloud spent so long burying the past. His mind keeps replaying the blank look on Sephiroth’s face, over and over and over again. Zack eventually stops calling, and it’s a small mercy. Cloud can’t handle the guilt right now.

_Would he throw me away, too?_

* * *

_It's a memory burned deep somewhere. He’s tall and beautiful and he holds his head up high like the whole world is beneath him; intelligent, strong, quick witted with a tongue that will cut you. There can’t be any harm in –_

Cloud flies upward in bed. No, hell no, he hasn’t dreamed about this in years, and Cloud isn’t about to start now.

* * *

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday.

His old routine isn’t the same anymore. It’s been obliterated into pieces, and Cloud can’t figure out how to pick it up.

Don’t water the cactus. Keep his shoes away from the door so Zack won’t trip over them. Eat dinner alone on Friday. Try to fall asleep without his ear on the phone. Cloud is a mess. But he can’t bother Zack with this, not right now, so it’s better to ignore him. 

* * *

Tifa drags him to movie night, because she decides that Cloud needs to get out of his bedroom. Cloud isn’t excited about it, but the distraction does help.

Jessie and Wedge are up to their usual nonsense, and Barret has Marlene on his lap, enveloped in the cartoon they’ve put on the TV, and Cloud drinks beer and stares at the wall.

Aerith touches his cheek from behind the couch. Cloud looks up, and blinks at her upside down.

“Hm?”

“Hey Cloud,” Aerith smiles gently, and pets across his forehead like she’s checking his temperature. “Are you okay?”

“Huh? Yeah, I’m fine.”

“That’s good. Do you mind following me upstairs?”

Cloud sits upright and gives her a concerned look.

“Are _you_ okay?”

“Yes,” Aerith smiles. “Just – let’s talk in private, please?”

Cloud nods. He sets his beer where Marlene won’t be able to grab it, and then follows Aerith up the stairs. She leads them to Marlene’s room, where it’s blocked off from the noise. The entire room is decorated in princesses and rainbows, but a collection of GI Joes and racecars lay on the shelves, which Cloud finds amusing.

Aerith sits on the bed and pats the spot next to her. Cloud chooses to stand.

“What’s up?”

“Well…” Aerith wrings her hands. “I just wanted to ask…um. Did you and Zack have a falling out?”

Cloud tenses, and grows defensive.

“That’s none of your business.”

And _that_ was the wrong answer. Aerith’s expression darkens, and the frown on her face doesn’t belong there.

“It’s not. But I thought you deserved to hear this.” She lifts up her phone, and Cloud loses some of the tension in his shoulders.

“Hear what?”

“Come sit.”

Cloud sits next to her on the twin bed, and Aerith hits play on her phone. It’s a voicemail from Zack.

_“-beep! Hey Aerith, uh. It’s Zack. Sorry to bug you but um…I just wanted to ask if you’ve seen Cloud around. He kind of – well. I don’t really know what happened, but he won’t answer my calls and I’m afraid to stop by the café and really piss him off and…shit.”_ A rustling noise echoes in the receiver. _“I don’t know what I did! I’ve run it over in my head a thousand times and – maybe the fact that I don’t know is a problem. Fuck, Aerith…I don’t know what to do. If I fuck this up – ”_ Zack’s voice cracks, and Cloud’s heart squeezes painfully. _“I’ll never forgive myself. It’s been ten days. Please call me back, thanks.”_

Beep.

Cloud stares, unblinking. Aerith locks her phone and sets it aside.

“I didn’t call him back,” Aerith says. “I wanted to talk to you first.”

“It’s not his fault,” Cloud swallows. “This was me. It’s my problem.”

“Then please, please tell him that,” Aerith squeezes his knee. “He’s self-destructing over this. If you can’t handle a relationship with him, you need to tell him that right now.”

“That’s not it!” Cloud shouts, and then covers his mouth. Aerith raises her eyebrows, and waits patiently. Cloud sets his head in his hands and sighs. “Sorry.”

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I can tell you care about him,” Aerith says. “If you need to work something out, then go do it. Zack is really understanding. He’ll listen.”

Cloud knows. Zack is a pain in the butt, but he’s also been so patient and kind with him. Cloud thinks about the crack in Zack’s voice, and he rises off the bed.

“Tell Tifa I’m leaving.”

Aerith smiles, and claps her hands together happily.

“Of course! Drive safe.”

Cloud jogs his way down the stairs.

* * *

Zack answers the door shirtless and in slippers. It looks like he’s been studying, because there is a pencil behind his ear, and a fresh coffee stain on his grey sweatpants. Zack freezes in place, and his hand slips off the doorknob.

“Cloud?”

“Hi. Can we talk in your room?”

“Uhh, y-yeah. Let me grab a shirt. Um, come on in.”

Cloud removes his shoes and follows Zack into his bedroom. Zack throws on a sweatshirt and moves aside the papers littered all over his bed. His expression is a solid mask that Cloud can’t see through. He’s never seen Zack throw up so many walls, and it makes him feel terrible knowing he’s the reason.

Cloud sits, and Zack leans up against the opposing wall. Cloud plays with his fingers, fiddling them between his legs. His mind suddenly goes blank.

“Um.”

Silence.

“Are you dumping me?” Zack asks dismissively.

Cloud’s heart lurches.

“No! Of course not.”

Zack crosses his arms, but the hard look on his face relaxes a little.

“Well, that’s nice.”

“I came to apologize,” Cloud says. “I’m sorry I ignored you. And I’m sorry I ran off like that.”

“What happened? You dove out of here like a bat out of hell.”

Cloud rubs across his eyebrows, sighing.

“I just – had a massive panic attack and needed some space. I’m sorry.”

“Needed some space?” Zack repeats wearily. Cloud shrinks, and Zack sighs, knocking his head back against the wall. “You could’ve just told me. Of all people, _I_ know what that feels like.”

Damn. That makes him feel even worse.

“This is…hard for me,” Cloud says. He wants to tell him the whole truth, but he can’t bring himself to.

Zack softens.

“Cloud, if you need space, you can _tell me._ I know I’m…uh. The shop calls me _Zack the Puppy._ I know I can be a lot.” 

“No.” Cloud stares at the floor. “I was wrong to do that to you. And I know that – if I’d talked to you… I probably would’ve dealt with everything better.” Cloud twists his fingers. “Sometimes just having you around makes stuff…easier. And I’m just not used to that yet.” Cloud swallows, and forces himself to be honest. “I missed you.”

It’s silent. The only light in the room comes from Zack’s yellow lamp. The bed creaks as Zack sits next to him.

“I really, really like you,” Zack repeats. “Life isn’t always fun. I want to be there for you when things are not-so great, too.”

“I know,” Cloud says. “This is just…something I can’t talk about yet.”

Zack doesn’t get upset with him. He wraps his arm around Cloud’s shoulders and squeezes; Cloud turns partway and hugs him back. That arm shifts to his waist, and the black hole eating all his internal organs finally goes away.

Against all odds, this person has become especially important to him.

“Date me,” Cloud demands into his shoulder.

Zack laughs, and sets his cheek against his ear.

“I already am.”

“No, I mean.” Cloud pulls back and cups his face seriously. “Be my boyfriend.”

Zack’s eyes are full of bewilderment, and he search’s Cloud’s face for answers.

“Do you really want that?”

_This man is friends with Sephiroth._

Cloud still hasn’t processed that, but it’s not enough of a reason to want to be apart. Cloud decides that whatever happens, he’ll figure it out later.

“Yes,” Cloud says.

Zack holds him by the back of the head and kisses him, and it was only a week and a half, but Cloud still really missed this. He crawls into his lap and Zack holds him there, and the relief in Zack’s mouth is enough to make Cloud’s heart hurt.

His face is smooth under his fingers, until he traces that scar. Cloud parts his lips and allows Zack’s tongue to sweep through. He tastes good, even when he doesn’t, and Cloud has yet to understand that.

“I really thought you were going to break it off,” Zack croaks. Vulnerability is thick in his voice – and few must see Zack this way. Cloud presses a kiss to Zack’s mouth, kisses and kisses until his lips tingle.

“I’ll make it up to you,” Cloud whispers. He slides off the bed and drops to his knees, and Zack’s breath catches.

He grabs Cloud by the shoulder, “Wait. You don’t have to do that.”

“I want to,” says Cloud. He sets his cheek on Zack’s clothed thigh, not moving until he has permission. “A reward, for dealing with my sorry ass.” 

“Just having you around is enough of a reward,” Zack says, but he carefully pets the shell of Cloud’s ear, like a doll. His eyes are heavy, but he still says, “I don’t want to see you run out the door again.”

“That won’t happen,” Cloud says. He looks up through his lashes and pets his hand along Zack’s inner thigh. “I trust you. Do you trust me?”

Zack hesitates. Cloud can’t say he _trusts_ that many people, especially like this. But Zack is his own man, too. Cloud doesn’t know what he’s been through, who and what has hurt him – and for so long, Cloud didn’t care. But he’s starting to, and it’s all Zack’s doing. He’ll push past the panic. He will _work past this._

“Yeah, I do,” Zack says.

Cloud dips his fingers into Zack’s waistband, and Zack nods. He’s never done this before, but Cloud knows what he _wants_ to do, so he noses into his crotch first, traces the outline of his cock with his mouth before pulling down his sweatpants.

“You have to tell me what to do,” Cloud says.

“I can do that.”

Cloud swallows when he pulls his cock free. Zack is not all the way hard yet, but he’s already big. Cloud just sits and stares for a moment, and Zack plays with the short hair at the base of his neck. His voice is rough and gentle at the same time. 

“Cover your teeth with your lips, like I did with you. Don’t worry about any tricks, just do what feels comfortable. I’ll like it.”

Cloud looks up, “Are you sure?”

Zack touches the back of his neck. “Keep looking at me like that, and I’ll get there.”

Cloud looks away before his cheeks burn. He tries just a taste, and licks until he’s fully hard. There is no way in hell that Cloud will fit all of him in his mouth, but he attempts what he can. Zack exhales through his nose, and Cloud feels confident enough to bob his head and move.

He tastes hot and salty on his tongue. Cloud covers what he can’t take with his hand, and Zack hums appreciatively. Cloud has to pull back and swallow his drool after a few minutes, and Zack makes a low sound. Cloud glances up at him, and the look in his eyes is kind of…hot. Zack’s attention is only on him, like a spotlight.

“You’re doing really well,” Zack says gravelly. Cloud bumps his cock against his lips, and Zack’s breath catches again. “Ah – fuck, Cloud. You are beautiful.”

Stupid Zack and his constant praise. Cloud is _concentrating_ here. 

Cloud tries using his mouth again, and he swallows around him, and Zack groans this time. The sound runs right through his body, right between his legs. Cloud shifts on his knees as he gets harder, and he tries to establish a rhythm. Zack curses under his breath, and he mutters praises as Cloud gets more into it.

“That’s it, that’s it. Look up at me baby _.”_

Cloud takes him too far, and he gags horribly. He pulls away, and Zack groans like he was punched in the stomach. Cloud raises an eyebrow at him.

“Ah. So you’re _that_ kind of freak.”

“Oh be quiet,” Zack huffs, and traces his swollen lips. “Give up yet?”

“Nope,” Cloud says, and takes him back down again. Zack’s smell is musky and addictive, and he can really feel it with his nose against his stubbly navel.

It’s not the most majestic blowjob of all time, but listening to Zack alone is getting Cloud off. In hindsight, that’s super embarrassing, but he doesn’t give a damn at the moment. He ruts against the foot of the bed and chalks Zack’s dick against his tongue, and Zack makes a seething sound like he’s been winded.

 _“Shiiiit._ Cloud, I’m close.”

About time, because Cloud is too. Something primal in him _needs_ Zack to finish, he needs the validation, needs to feel closer to him. He wants to level the playing field, he wants Zack to feel good.

Cloud pumps his hand in time with his mouth, and Zack grips the sheets and comes quietly. Cloud is only able to swallow half of it before he’s popping off for air, pressing his face against Zack’s hard stomach and grinding against the foot of the bed, coming in his pants _again._

Zack curses heavily, and sags his head back on his shoulders. Cloud breathes against Zack’s navel as his vision fades in and out.

“Goddammit, Cloud,” Zack mumbles. “Look at you.” He traces along his ear, and Cloud realizes slowly that Zack has painted half the side of his face and into his hair. Cloud presses his cheek into Zack’s belly button and sighs.

“What the hell, Zack?” 

“Listen, it’s not my fault,” Zack defends. His post-sex voice is way, way too hot. “You’ve had me wound up like a toy.”

Cloud throws his arms around Zack’s waist, unconcerned about the mess at the moment.

“Yeah alright.” Cloud pauses, and then. “I’ll need to borrow some pants.”

“Holy crap, you did not.”

“Shut up.”

Zack heaves him up on the bed and kisses him dirty. Cloud’s jaw is already sore, so all he can do is lay there and take it. It’s okay, Zack cleans him up with a hot rag, and it’s so goddamn relaxing, that Cloud passes out like he’s been laid to rest.

* * *

Cloud wakes up groggily. His first thought is _this isn’t my room,_ and then _this isn’t my bed,_ and at last – _this isn’t my arm._

Cloud peels an eye open. Oh, hello; his face is planted in a naked chest. Zack has one arm tucked tight around his back, and the other is propped under Cloud’s head, his phone in hand. Cloud can see tendons in his arm move as he scrolls.

Cloud squeezes his eyes closed and stretches. Then he crushes back onto Zack and sighs.

“Timesit.”

“Seven.”

 _“Ughhh._ ”

“You are a very cuddly sleeper,” Zack comments. “I was pleasantly surprised.”

“Suck a dick,” Cloud mumbles.

“Do you want me to?”

Cloud thinks about it. He has morning wood but he also has to pee.

“No.”

Zack sets down his phone and plays with the back of his hair. Cloud keeps his eyes closed, and dozes to the fingers at his scalp.

“I love these shorter bits back here,” Zack mumbles. “Who does your hair?”

“Jessie.” Cloud tries to fall back asleep, but his eyes snap back open. “Don’t you work today?”

“Not for a few more hours,” Zack says. Cloud is very tired, so he’s not responsible for his actions when he reaches up and traces the scar on Zack’s cheek. He can see the large, life-changing scar that juts down his chest, and looking at it makes his heart race, so Cloud keeps his eyes on Zack’s face. Zack stares back at him, and smiles short. “How are you feeling?”

Cloud thinks on it.

“Better.”

“Me too,” Zack says. “I have pancake mix, by the way.”

“Do you have maple syrup?”

“Is that even a question?”

“Barret eats his dry.”

“Barret is a monster,” Zack gasps. Cloud smiles, and closes his eyes for one last moment.

“Yes. Yes he is.”

Zack kisses his chin. They’re both stubbly, and it tickles when Zack kisses his cheek too. His breath is rank, but Cloud assumes his is worse.

“Alright, pancake time.”

“Is Reno out there?”

“Oh hell no, it’s a Sunday. He’s going to be hungover until four, at least.”

“At _night?”_ Cloud balks.

“Uh huh,” Zack sits up and pulls Cloud to his feet. “He’s a lightweight that drinks like the world is ending.”

Cloud stretches his arms above his head and yawns, “Well, you know what they say about global warming.”

“You are so sexy,” Zack says out of nowhere. “How do you feel about sharing showers?”

“It depends on how big your shower is.”

* * *

Cloud shuffles the bags in his arms, and attempts to keep up with his friends. The mall is busy today, and Cloud hates crowds, this one specifically. 

“Can someone tell me why I’m here?”

“You’re our pack chocobo, remember?” Aerith skips through the store, her flowery dress swishing back and forth. “It’s spooky season. I have to have _the best_ Halloween costume of all time.”

“It’s _still_ September,” Cloud reminds.

“Give up,” Tifa says. She holds up a Victorian style dress and looks to Aerith, “Babe. Marie Antoinette.”

Aerith gasps, “We could be sexy lesbian queens!”

Cloud shifts the bags in his arms again and sighs, preparing himself for the long haul. Tifa senses his annoyance and elbows him.

“Maybe we should look for you too.”

“No way.”

“Aww come on! You’d look so cute as a kitty cat. Or, or, a princess!”

“Not happening.”

“It’s not fair,” Tifa sighs. “You have bleach-blonde hair that women pay hundreds for, and you do nothing with it. At least be a princess, Cloud.”

Cloud pulls a fast one and distracts them by pointing to a wall of pirate costumes. Aerith gasps in delight and bounces over to the wall, but Tifa makes an _I’m watching you_ sign with her hands, and Cloud looks away.

* * *

Zack comes bursting through the door at closing time.

“Guess who got a B on his finance quiz?! _This guyyyy!_ ”

“Congratulations,” Wedge laughs.

Zack pauses, and looks between the door and Wedge. Then he points.

“You’re not my boyfriend.”

“I’m definitely not.”

“I’m back here,” Cloud calls. He enters the storefront with a box of utensils and sets it on the counter. “Congrats on the quiz.”

“ _You_ are my boyfriend,” Zack points, and gathers him up in a hug. Cloud huffs, but quickly hugs him back. Zack's hoodie is all warm from the sun on his back, and it feels like he's been plucked out of the dryer. 

“Yeah yeah. I thought you had to go straight to the shop today?”

“One of the other mechanics ended up covering the shift,” Zack shrugs. “So I figured I’d come with you to the gym.” Zack pauses. “Unless that’s not okay with you. Cause like, I wouldn’t want to intrude on your guy-time with Barret –”

“Please don’t call it that,” Cloud delivers flat. “Do what you want.” Even though it will most likely end his life prematurely.

“Yay!” Zack smiles. He looks to Wedge who is back to cleaning out the dispensers. “Hey dude, you don’t usually work this late.”

“Yeah bro. Tifa wanted me to deep clean the store after closing.”

“Oh, dope.”

“Here’s your coffee,” Cloud slides it across the counter. “We can go now if you have everything.”

Zack sets a hand against his chest as he pops open the coffee lid.

“Oh, be still my soul. It’s a hea-”

“ _BYE_ Wedge,” Cloud waves, and yanks Zack after him by the sleeve. Wedge laughs and waves goodbye, and Zack has to fight to grab his coffee before Cloud tugs him out the door.

“You are a secret romantic,” Zack accuses.

“I was _practicing,_ ” Cloud reminds, but stands on his toes and waits impatiently for Zack to kiss him.

Cloud ends up being right about the gym thing. It was a serious mistake to agree to this.

Barret and Zack usually get along well, but at the gym they’re white on rice. Barret is going on about quadriceps and diets and Zack tells him all about the wonders of calisthenics for physical therapy all while doing pullups on the wall rack, and Cloud is certain that this is hell.

Barret snaps in his direction when he notices that Cloud has stopped.

“Hey! No slackin, kid. Give me twenty more.”

Cloud sighs, and starts back up on the leg press. Zack is still doing pullups, but now he’s watching Cloud intensely as Barret counts his squats, and it makes Cloud sweat more. Who allowed Zack to wear sleeveless shirts? It’s not okay, it’s just not okay, especially when his neck is all damp and his shirt is sticking to his — holy shit _stop._

The cool air hits them as they exit the gym. Both of their bikes sit side by side on the curb.

“We’re not doing that again,” says Cloud, wiping down his face.

Zack nods sharply.

“Different gym days. Agreed.”

* * *

Cloud tries to avoid Zack’s house if it sounds like he might have other friends over. Zack apparently has not caught on yet, because he doesn’t seem to mind spending time at Cloud’s apartment.

They’re attempting to cook dinner tonight, but neither of them are a five-star Michelin chef, and it’s kind of like two monkeys banging pots and pans together. They have failed miserably at both the chicken and the rice, and when they burn the rolls Cloud fucking loses it.

“How are we that stupid?” Cloud cries, hanging his head in his hand. “It’s just reading! I work at a _café!”_

Zack slides until his butt hits the tile, and he clutches his sides, wheezing.

“It even came out of a can!”

“We are so fucked,” Cloud leans against the counter. “I can’t believe either of us has survived this long.”

“I am normally way more competent at this,” Zack says, wiping his eyes. “You just keep distracting me.”

“ _You_ were distracting _me!_ ”

“You flicked olive oil in my hair!”

“Because you put an ice cube down my back!”

They pause, and then they start laughing all over again. Cloud hides behind his hand and tries to bite down the giggles, but they just won’t stop.

“I’m calling China-A-Go-Go,” Zack says.

“That sounds like a solid plan.”

They make out on the kitchen floor until the food comes. Cloud owns a dining set, but they spread their food over the coffee table and sit on the floor. Cloud jabs him with a chopstick every time Zack talks with his mouth full, and Zack goes for his socked feet in retaliation, and Zack almost ends up with a broken nose.

Cloud hasn’t felt this relaxed in a long time. Zack is in a good mood too, and it just feels right when they crawl in his bed. Zack’s weight is heavy on top of him, but Cloud can take it. Cloud could carry him up a flight of stairs, if he wanted.

He can’t remember why he should be nervous about this. Cloud loses his fingers in Zack’s hair, and tunes out everything except Zack’s hands on his body. They roll to their sides; Zack hikes Cloud’s leg over his hip, and Cloud gasps as they grind together.

Zack speaks his name against his mouth, and it tastes good. Cloud shivers when he kisses down his neck — he still hasn’t figured out how to make the goosebumps stop. But his brain has turned off for the night, and for now, all he has to worry about is the two of them and nothing else.

Zack’s hand creeps along his ass, his finger rubbing between his cheeks in a silent question, and Cloud’s entire world comes to a grinding halt.

He can feel it, suddenly. The memory hits him like a brick to the face, and Cloud screams at the top of his lungs.

“ _Get OFF ME! GET OFF!”_

Zack flies across the bed. Cloud can’t breathe, he can’t breathe, he _cant. Breathe._

Cloud scrambles up and against the wall, and he takes in heavy breaths as he tries to bring himself back to the present. His hands are shaking like he's been dunked under ice. 

“Cloud! Holy shit – what did I — are you okay?”

Cloud blinks rapidly. He can’t hear anything over his heart jackhammering in his ears. Zack is looking at him in horror, and Cloud comes to very slowly.

_Fuck. Fuck. It’s just Zack._

“Shit,” Cloud whispers. He hides his face in his hands. “Zack, I’m so sorry.”

Zack’s voice is full of worry. “You gave me a heart attack. What happened?” Cloud can’t answer, and Zack slides a little closer on the bed. “Can I touch you?”

“Yes,” Cloud croaks. Zack crawls up to his side and hugs him tight. It does well to ground him, which is nice, because it’ll take a moment for the adrenaline to work out of his system.

Damn, damn, damn. 

Eventually, his heart stops racing. Cloud doesn't realize that Zack's heart is beating just as fast, until he feels it in his hands. 

“I shouldn’t have done that,” Zack blurts.

“It’s not your fault,” Cloud sighs, closing his eyes. “Literally none of this is your fault.”

Zack pets over his hair. It’s quiet for a while, until Cloud can’t hear his own ragged breathing anymore. Cloud cannot believe how badly he just fucked up that moment.

Zack is still tense. Cloud knows the question is coming, so he waits.

“Cloud, is there anything you want to tell me?”

Yes, there is. Cloud wants to get it off his chest — he’s just not sure how.

“Can we lie down?”

“Sure.”

They wiggle under Cloud’s covers. Zack situates them so Cloud is the little spoon; it’s better, because Cloud can stare at the wall instead.

Cloud is silent for a while. Minutes, even. He has to think the words through, before he can say them. Well, maybe it’s better to rip off the bandaid. Inhale, and exhale. 

“When I was in highschool,” Cloud says. “I was in love with Sephiroth.”

Zack goes rigid.

 _“What??_ ”

“Let me finish, or I’ll never say it.”

Zack forces himself to relax, and he readjusts himself behind Cloud.

“Sorry, that was — a bomb, fuck. Go on.”

Cloud clears his throat. The wall is easy to look at; unmoving, white, and solid.

“He was a few years older than me. We were raised in the same hometown – me, Sephiroth and Tifa. I thought he was so cool, I did everything I could to get him to go out with me. But he graduated first, and went off to our local university, and I could never date anyone else because all I ever thought about was him.” Zack breathes deeply behind him, and Cloud swallows. “When I graduated, I got accepted to the same university as Sephiroth. He didn’t know who I was, didn’t give a damn, really. But I kept trying to get closer to him. I can’t even count how many times he shot me down.” Cloud twists the sheets in his fingers. “I was an entirely different person back then.”

Zack squeezes him so Cloud knows he’s still listening.

“I see.”

“Near the end of my first semester, we ended up at the same house party. I started hitting on him like I always did, except this time he said –”

_Let’s go back to my place._

Cloud swallows, and rubs his eyes in frustration.

“He never said yes before. He hadn’t even acknowledged my _existence._ I was so excited – I didn’t even know what for. I wanted anything.”

Zack starts, “But you said –”

“I didn’t lie,” Cloud snaps. “I never kissed anyone, and I had never been on a date.”

Zack seems to tense with realization.

Cloud grits his teeth, growing angry. “It wasn’t even good sex. He _fucked_ me. And it was…traumatizing. But I consented, I said yes. He kept asking and I kept saying I wanted it.” Cloud rubs his eyes again, trying to force away the burn. “It hurt. I just wanted Sephiroth’s attention, but he used me like a toy and then threw me away. The worst part was, I mattered so little to him that he didn’t even remember me afterwards.”

Zack pulls away his arm and rolls to his back. Cloud is terrified to see what face he’s making, so he keeps his back turned.

“It was pathetic. Tifa had to take me to the hospital. She’s the only one that knows.” 

“That’s why…” Zack mumbles. “He was standing right in front of you. Right in my fucking house. I introduced him as a _friend._ ”

“I never thought I’d see him again,” Cloud admits. “That’s why I freaked. Sorry.”

Zack stands up and off the bed. Cloud sits up in a panic. He’d never considered – well, he’d hoped...no.

He _prayed_ that Zack wouldn’t leave. Maybe he’s not interested now that Cloud isn’t as cool and innocent as Zack thought. The idea alone is crushing. It’s alarming how quickly Zack has become a cornerstone in his life – and maybe, Cloud hasn’t changed... chasing waterfalls all this time, like a moron. 

Zack walks to the end of the room, picks up his holster, and hands it to Cloud.

“Hide this.”

Cloud looks between Zack and the gun, and starts to argue.

“Zack, it was just bad sex. I should’ve –”

“He _should have_ stopped as soon as he saw you were in pain!” Zack shouts. He shoves the gun back in Cloud’s hand. “Now fucking hide this before I kill his ass.”

There is a no-nonsense tone in Zack’s voice that Cloud has only heard one time. He slides off the bed and patters barefoot into the living room. He picks a random shelf and hides the weapon in a cereal box, and Cloud doesn’t realize he’s crying until his cheeks are wet. It feels so foreign to cry. Cloud touches his face, wipes it with his arm but the water keeps coming.

When he enters the bedroom again, Zack is sitting on the edge of the bed, one leg up and his face in his arms. He’s mumbling to himself,

“I’m going to kill him. I’m literally going to kill him.”

“No you’re not,” Cloud states. It doesn’t come out with his usual flat tone because he’s crying. Zack’s head whips up, and his face cracks.

“Oh fuck, come here baby.”

Cloud crawls onto the bed and Zack hugs him tight. Cloud winds his arms around his neck and sighs deeply in relief.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I’m sorry you have to deal with my baggage.”

“Cloud, I have _suitcases._ I’m not _‘dealing’_ with anything. I just – dammit, I wish I knew.” Zack swallows, “I would’ve done so many things differently.”

“But I didn’t want that!” Cloud huffs. “Tifa was right. I don’t have to let go, but I need to _move on._ I need to be treated like a normal person I just – have to work through some obvious shit in the process. Seeing him a couple weeks ago screwed my head up.”   
  


Cloud was doing so well, too. But it was like someone hit the reset button, and suddenly he was eighteen again. 

“You’ll never see him again,” Zack promises. “I’ll make sure of it.”

Cloud leans his head against Zack’s shoulder. All you can hear is their breathing, in and out in perfect sync.

“I’m not the person I was back then,” Cloud mulls. “After I dropped out, I – shit. I did so many drugs, Zack. My psyche will never be the same. I don’t know if I’ll ever be…”

Normal.

“Cloud.” Zack pulls him away by the shoulders and looks him in the eye. His face is gravely serious. “The person you are today, is the one that overcame all those things. I fell in love with _this_ Cloud, not the Cloud you used to be.”

All the air vacuums out of his chest. Cloud stares at him in disbelief, and his mouth opens and shuts. He’s so stunned, he doesn’t realize that he’s stopped crying entirely.

“You…you love me?”

Zack laughs, like it’s a silly question. He uses his sleeve to wipe off Cloud’s cheeks.

“Of course I do. Isn’t it obvious?”

_Is it obvious?_

Cloud’s hands are shaking, but…it’s the good kind. His stomach is twisted up with a mixing pot of emotion, but knowing Zack _loves_ him…

Cloud kisses him, and Zack gently kisses back. Zack doesn’t sway as Cloud climbs into his lap – sturdy as a rock, _his_ rock. Zack has transformed him into a complete and total sap — but it's too late now. 

“I’ll carry your suitcases if you carry mine,” Cloud says.

Zack laughs breathily.

“It’s a deal.”

_Hey, mom. Someone loves me._


	7. Chapter 7

Zack makes it loud and clear that Sephiroth is no longer allowed into his house.

Reno must understand that Zack’s temper is a rare thing to be taken seriously, so he doesn’t put up a fight. It’s nice, because it means that Cloud can come over without feeling like he’s going to have a panic attack any minute.

Zack tells him that they don’t have to have sex right now, if at all. Cloud is conflicted, because he really, really wants to. But he knows he should give it some time so he doesn’t have another episode.

Just being with Zack helps. Cloud doesn’t flinch away, doesn’t feel weird about grabbing his hand, and is tolerating Zack’s overall clinginess more. He shoves him off when it’s too much, and Zack never gets upset.

They’re fine where they are. But Cloud still can’t stop thinking about what it’d be like to have more.

The truth is, Cloud started going to the gym after he dropped out of college so he would know how to defend himself if he ever needed to. It’s a confidence boost he didn’t have before – but Cloud has been slow to realize that he has _a lot_ of things he didn’t have before.

Barret, Biggs, Jessie and Wedge. A steady job, an apartment and a bike and of all things, he has Zack. A six foot two, solid wall of ex-soldier muscle that has made it explicitly clear that no matter what, he has Cloud’s back.

  
The weight sitting on his chest gets lighter. 

* * *

Cloud snatches the sugar packet out of Zack’s hand before he can even think about it.

“Nope.”

“Aww, come on,” Zack whines. He hooks his ankle around Cloud’s and tugs. “My sweet tea isn’t sweet enough.”

“It’s _already_ sweet. It’s in the goddamn name.”

Zack tries to reach for another sugar packet, but Cloud is faster. He takes a handful and shoves them in Tifa’s purse while she’s not looking.

“You play dirty,” Zack points.

They’re at a bar tonight, instead of any house in particular. Jessie recently got dumped, so she’s drowning her sorrows away while Barret stays nearby to make sure she gets cut off before she _actually_ drowns.

“I’m just looking out for your blood pressure,” Cloud says, knocking back rum.

“You don’t give a shit about my health, you’re just a snob.”

“Oh my god STOP flirting!” Jessie covers her ears. “I can’t take it! Get a room!” Cloud and Zack look to each other and raise their eyebrows. Biggs pats Zack on the back.

“Don’t mind her. She’ll get over it.”

“We were going to move in together,” Jessie sniffs.

“You knew her for two weeks.”

“We were going to buy a Subaru.”

Tifa slaps her hand against the table and barks.

“Alright, that’s it, I’ve had enough. I’m not going to let you fuel the stereotype like this. One last shot for everyone, and then no more crying.”

“To be fair…” Biggs points between Tifa and Aerith. “You two moved in together after a week.”

Tifa opens her mouth to argue, and Barret lifts up his shot glass before Biggs can start a fight on accident.

“To Jessie!”

Everyone raises their glasses. Zack’s shoulders are shaking in a silent laugh, and Cloud kicks him under the bar.

_“To Jessie!”_

They knock back the shots and tap the empty glasses upside down on the bar. 

“Awh fack,” Aerith whispers. “I was the designated driver, wasn’t I?”

“Why do I have so many sugar packets in my purse?”

“Oh, I need those!”

“Do _not_ give them to Zack.”

Barret wipes his eyes happily and smiles, “You’re all so fucking stupid. I love you guys.” 

* * *

There’s an art in moving on. 

It feels like he’s stripped to the bone when they share a shower like this. Cloud is hugging Zack from behind, trailing soapy fingers blindly up and down the scar on his chest. Zack lets him do what he wants, scrubbing shampoo in his hair and closing his eyes to rinse.

Cloud sets his ear between Zack’s shoulders. If he listens hard enough, he can hear his heartbeat against the hiss of the shower.

Zack looks at the conditioner bottle, before setting it down on the shelf.

“You threw out my three-in-one, didn’t you?”

“I did.”

Cloud follows the scar all the way to his bellybutton. He trails back upward, traces under his pecs and back down. Zack rinses out the rest of the conditioner in his hair, and then spins in his arms. Cloud shivers as the warm water hits him again.

“I have to go study,” Zack says.

“Then go study.”

“You’re making it very hard, baby.”

“Do you want me to go home?”

“Not at all.” Zack wipes the water out of Cloud’s eyes. “I was actually going to ask if you’d stay the night.”

Cloud’s heartbeat quickens. He tries not to appear excited.

“If it’s okay with you.”

“I’ll give you my flash cards,” Zack grins.

Oh.

Cloud ends up wearing Zack’s clothes for the night. He has to roll up the ankles, and the shirt collar is too big, but he curls up in Zack’s blankets and reads him flashcards until midnight.

True to Zack’s word, all they do is sleep. Cloud doesn’t mind the cuddling, but there’s also a shred of disappointment nagging at the back of his mind.

It’s not like Cloud didn’t _try_ to drop hints. He crawled in his lap and kissed at his mouth and squirmed against him for hours, but Zack kept his hands above the belt, and Cloud can’t even be upset about it, because he knows he’s just trying to be accommodating.

Weeks pass, and Cloud keeps having these _dreams._ It’s not the usual kind, where there’s a hand at his throat and blood everywhere and pain down his spine.

No; they’re dreams where it’s just Zack’s hands. _Zack’s_ weight on top of him, Zack surrounding him on all sides.

  
He doesn’t want anyone else. 

* * *

“I can’t believe we’re doing this again,” Cloud sighs.

“This is _decoration_ shopping, not costume shopping, Cloud,” Aerith points. “It wouldn’t kill you to know the difference.”

“Why are you so adamant about this?” Cloud lifts up a skeleton head, and the eyes light up as it starts to laugh. He sets it back down with a frown.

“Because,” Aerith huffs. “ _Stephanie_ is having a Halloween party, and I have to throw an even better party, or else she’ll brag about it for the next year at the soup kitchen.”

“You’re right,” Cloud deadpans. “That is important.”

Aerith spins on her heel, brown hair swishing around in braids.

“ _Thank_ you. Now which is better? The ghost that screams when you walk by or the zombie eating a leg?”

“Zombie eating a leg.”

“I thought so.”

* * *

After a night spent at Zack’s house, Cloud wakes up with the sudden and cold realization that Zack doesn’t touch him anymore.

Well, of course Zack _touches_ him; kisses hello at _Seventh Heaven,_ the showers, the handholding, hugs and whatever. But their nights together have been especially PG, and when the last week of October rolls around, Cloud realizes that it’s been an entire month since his freak-out in Zack’s bedroom.

Cloud tries a more direct approach. He waits all week for Zack to come by and grab him on Friday night, and they ride out to the edge of town to eat ice cream and throw stones at the pond.

When Cloud finally gets Zack back into his apartment, he pins him to the wall and kisses him. Zack hums as he kisses back, and cradles his jaw with the utmost of care. It pisses Cloud off, because he’s not _that_ fragile thanks. He bites down on Zack’s lip, grinds against him and tries to show what he wants, but Zack snatches his wrists when he goes to lift his shirt.

“Hey sweetheart, slow down. You still work tomorrow.”

Cloud huffs and yanks his hands back.

“Zack, are you serious?” 

“What?”

“You can _touch_ me,” Cloud hisses. Zack frowns at him, and it’s not right.

“I thought we agreed to go slow for a while.”

“Yeah, on sex. We can do other things, Zack.”

Zack stares at him, and then shakes his head.

“No. You’re not ready for that yet.”

Cloud almost can’t believe what he’s hearing. He steps back and crosses his arms.

“Excuse me? I’m not ready for the things we’ve already done?”

“Don’t –” Zack sighs, and leans against the opposite wall. “Don’t look at me like that. I don’t want to pressure you into anything.”

_“Pressure_ me? I’m a man. If I don’t want something I’ll sure as shit tell you.” 

“You know what I mean. This is a different situation, Cloud.” 

“Are you listening to me at all? I’m telling you it’s fine. We’ve been together for more than two months.” Cloud stares up at him, jaw set and completely serious. “I want to try having sex again.”

Zack reels back and looks at him in disbelief.

“Are you serious right now?”

“Of course, I am. Why?”

Zack reaches for his hips and tugs him forward, and Cloud gasps, tensing in his arms. Zack’s eyes glower dark, and he lets go.

“That’s why.”

Frustration burns in his chest. Cloud steps back and snaps, “You startled me!”

“You don’t _get_ startled, Cloud!” Zack yells, and Cloud shuts his mouth. Zack runs his hand through his hair and sighs. They haven’t even turned on the lights yet, and Cloud’s apartment feels dark and dreary. Zack breathes out of his nose, and then says, “I know what that feeling is like. I don’t ever want to be the one to trigger you again. The look in your eyes…” Zack stares at the floor. “I couldn’t handle it if you looked at me like that again.”

  
Oh. 

Cloud’s heart sinks. The tension eases in his shoulders, and he uncrosses his arms.

“Zack. I’m not broken.”

Admitting it almost feels like a band-aid.

“Yeah,” Zack nods. “But I am.” He wipes his eyes. “I can’t handle the thought of hurting someone I care about. It’s a thing for me.”

Cloud’s breath catches. The crestfallen look on Zack’s face is absolutely crushing.

“If you don’t want to sleep with me, it’s okay,” Cloud says. “But if you don’t want to sleep with me because you think you’re going to _hurt_ me, then we’ve got shit to talk about.” 

Zack looks away.

“I think I should go. We both have a busy week.”

His heart physically aches. Cloud hugs his arms to himself and huffs. 

“Fine. Do what you want.”

“Don’t look at me like that,” Zack says sadly.

“I’m not upset with you,” Cloud mumbles. “I’m mad at myself.”

Zack steps forwards and cups his cheek. Cloud leans into his hand and lets Zack kiss him.

“This isn’t your fault either. Let’s talk about it after the party this weekend,” Zack says. “I don’t want to fight with you right now.”

“Me neither.”

“I love you,” says Zack. Cloud nods, and Zack flips the lock and steps out the door. Cloud sets the chain after him, and then presses his forehead against the door, and waits until he can hear the sound of Zack’s Harley pulling out of the parking lot.

_Shiva. How the hell do I go about this, after I fucked it up twice already?_

Time and time again, Cloud has been yanked out of his comfort zone by Zack. He was cared for, properly romanced, and gently pulled every step of the way.

But he realizes that it’s Zack that’s been doing the pulling, all by his lonesome. Now he’s afraid to tug any harder.

Cloud opens his eyes, and stares at the grain in the door.

He knows what he’s going to do.

* * *

Cloud knocks twice, and then knocks again when he gets no answer. He peeks in the window and tries to see through the foggy glass, and he relaxes when he sees a shadow move.

Tifa opens the door in a sports bra and sweatpants.

“Cloud?” She rubs her eyes. “What’s up?”

Cloud plants his feet, crosses his arms, and breathes out through his nose.

“I need your help.”

* * *

Zack is only able to swing by the café for a few minutes on Friday. Cloud draws a heart in his coffee, and Zack gives him a kiss that’s so sweet it could rot your teeth out.

“Don’t be gross,” Cloud mumbles.

“Sorry, can’t help it.” Zack adjusts his shoulder bag. “I’ve got to run, but I’ll see you tomorrow night.”

Tifa leans in from the back room.

“Oh! Are you coming to our party?”

“You bet your ass I am,” Zack grins.

“You’re dressing up, right?”

“Yup! But I can’t tell you my costume, it’s a secret.”

Tifa and Cloud share a look.

“I see,” Tifa says.

“Do you mind if I bring my buds along? They’re probably going to be party hopping all night.”

“Bring ‘em!” Tifa grins. “Aerith wants this to be a total blowout.”

“Sweet.” Zack turns back to Cloud. “Let’s hang out Sunday, okay?”

Cloud squeezes his fingers, and then lets go.

“Okay.”

Zack waves goodbye, downing his coffee in one mouthful and flipping the closed sign. Cloud watches him drive off before he glares back at Tifa.

“Now why the hell did you say yes? Now you have to deal with his _friends._ ”

“Oh, don’t be such a party pooper. Aerith convinced Barret to let her throw the party at his house after he takes Marlene trick or treating, so there’ll be plenty of room.” Tifa closes out the drawer and prints a receipt. “You’re still coming over today, right?”

“Nn. My feet still hurt.”

“Good. It’s working.”

* * *

Biggs is just minding his own goddamn business, when suddenly all hell breaks loose.

Here’s what he knows.

\- Barret left to take Marlene trick or treating while Aerith dragged everyone into helping her set up the house.

\- The gang returned to their respective homes to change into their costumes.

\- Barret dropped Marlene off at a friend’s house.

\- Biggs picked up Jessie, because after weeks of arguing, they finally settled on _Jessie and James_ for Halloween.

\- The party started at ten.

\- Thirty minutes in and Aerith, Tifa, and Cloud are not to be seen.

“Look, I don’t know,” Biggs sips his solo cup, and bobs along to _monster mash._ “Aerith was the one throwing such a hurrah about all this. You’d think they would be here already.”

“They’re probably still doing makeup,” Jessie shrugs. 

Aerith didn’t skimp out on the decorations. Barret’s entire livingroom has been converted into a haunted house; cheesecloth is hanging from the ceiling fans, the table is full of ‘spooky finger food’, and a fog machine rolls over the yard. In Biggs’ humble opinion, it’s pretty sick.

“I just think it’s weird that Zack is here already,” Biggs jabs his thumb towards the living room. “He brought friends, but not Cloud. That’s weird, right?”

“Super weird,” Jessie agrees. “Especially ‘cause they’ve been attached at the dick since they started dating.”

“Do you think they had a fight?”

“Nooo idea. Cloud is as easy to read as a brick wall, and Zack is happy during rain or sun.”

Barret peeks his head into the kitchen. He’s dressed up as a pirate, and he even replaced his prosthetic arm with a hook hand. He flips up his eyepatch.

“Have either of y’all seen Wedge?”

“Last I saw him he was chatting up one of Aerith’s buddies.”

Barret nods, “Thanks. You two better do more than stand there and drink all night, or I’m gonna’ sharpie up your faces when you pass out on my damn floor.”

“Oh, trust me, I’m bobbing for apples,” Jessie points. “My BJ skills have to come in handy for something.”

“Jess, come on…”

“And I’m out,” Barret chirps, and flips down his eyepatch.

Biggs looks out through the divider, and watches Zack laugh with his college buddies. It’s still veeery strange that Cloud didn’t come. He isn’t exactly the most social guy in the crayon box, but the kid usually shows up if not to take free beer and kick his feet up on the table –

A commotion builds near the front door. Biggs knocks back the rest of his solo cup and goes for another. Jessie squints, leaning up on her toes to get a good look, and she suddenly gasps, and swats her hand at Biggs’ side.

“Oh, my, _LANTA._ Biggs _Look!_ ”

Biggs spills punch all over his sleeve. He gasps,

“Shit, Jess! This is white!”

“BIGGS!” Jessie grabs him by the jaw and physically turns his head towards the hallway. _“Look._ ”

Aerith and Tifa made it. They’re greeting people at the front door, shaking hands and giving hugs to friends. They’re dressed up like Beauty and the Beast this year, and bro, they look good. Aerith is wearing fuzzy ears and a tailored tuxedo, and Tifa chopped the bottom half off of a Victorian dress and tied her hair up all nice. But _that’s_ not what Jessie is pointing to.

Somehow, by the grace of the gods, Tifa and Aerith got Cloud into a set of fishnets and platform heels. He’s wearing what looks like a short mechanic’s apron with a fluffy underskirt, and the rest of his chest is bare beneath the top of the apron. The craziest part? He looks fucking _good._ Like an androgynous wet dream. 

“Hoe. Lee. Shiet.” Jessie presses her hand against her mouth. “There is no way. Pinch me.”

Biggs pinches her. Jessie mumbles _ow._

Cloud follows Tifa and Aerith into the party with a wrench slung over his shoulder. His face spells out _ugh_ in big neon letters, but it’s no different than usual.

“Is he even wearing makeup?”

“I don’t think so. His face is just _that_ pretty. Ifrit, those legs.”

“I don’t want this,” Biggs says, focusing back on his stained sleeve. “I’m not ready for a sexuality crisis right now.”

Jessie leans over the counter and waves, “Hey!! Cloud!!! CLOUD!!” You can barely hear over the Halloween music, but Cloud looks over eventually. Jessie cups her hands over her mouth and shouts, “You look amazing!!”

Cloud rolls his eyes, but waves his little gloves and keeps walking.

“He looks like he’s on a mission,” Biggs notes.

Jessie’s eyes go big.

“Oh shit, _Zack._ ”

Fuck the sleeve, Bigg sets down his drink and tugs Jessie by the arm. “We gotta’ see this.”

* * *

There are too many fucking people in this house. Cloud wasn’t even aware that Aerith _knew_ so many people. But he guesses a lot of these guys are Barret’s friends, and then Tifa has a boxing class or some shit that she’s tight with, and there are just – more people in this house than Cloud is comfortable with.

But this isn’t about Cloud being comfortable.

He searches for Zack around the sea of party-city costumes. When he sees black spikey hair, he starts to make his way through the crowd. It’s a struggle at first, but then Jessie yells his name, and suddenly everyone is looking at him.

This is _not_ what he wanted, but it grants him a red carpet – right up to Zack. He’s talking to Reno and Kunsel, and he’s being animated with his hands, and Reno laughs at something he says, until Cloud steps past the couch – then Reno goes white. 

“Uhhhhhhh dude,” Reno points. Zack tips his head and looks over shoulder.

“Huh? Wha?”

Cloud lazily spins the prop wrench in his hand.

“Hi,” Cloud says.

Zack’s eyes look like they’re going to pop out of his skull. He scrambles backwards, and Reno and Kunsel have to catch him by the elbows before he falls. 

“Oh my god! Cloud???”

Cloud looks over Zack’s costume.

“What the hell are you wearing?”

“I’m a…I’m a…” Zack blinks. Cloud sighs impatiently as Zack looks him up and down in awe.

Zack is dressed like a Starbucks barista. It’s the laziest costume he’s ever seen, and Cloud almost wants to smack him over the head for it, if the white button down and black slacks weren’t a good look for him.

Zack’s feet are glued to the floor, and he’s gaping like a fish out of water. Reno begins to laugh violently, and Cloud knows that people are staring, but at this point, he doesn’t blame them. He’s five inches taller in these shoes, and the entirety of his back is exposed by this dumb apron, and Zack is still staring like he’s the walking dead.

Cloud props his hand on his hip.

“So?”

Zack moves so fast, Cloud almost doesn’t see him. An arm grabs him around the waist, his forearm crushing the bow that Aerith tied so nicely, and Zack spins Cloud on his feet and kisses him in front of everyone. Fuck it, it’s too late now; Cloud kisses him back. Their friends hoot and holler like it’s a shitty hallmark movie.

“Oh my god!” Zack laughs. He pulls away, looks Cloud over and kisses him again. “Oh my god. Oh, my god.”

“Happy Halloween,” Cloud says dryly. Jessie and Biggs are having the time of their life laughing it up in the kitchen, but Cloud doesn’t care anymore. He doesn’t care about people staring. He doesn’t care that he looks ridiculous.

He just cares about Zack.

“Oh my god,” Zack replies.

“Congratulations,” Reno says. “You broke him.”

Having finally made their way through the crowd, Tifa approaches with her arm around Aerith’s. “Doesn’t he have the most killer legs you’ve ever seen?”

“I can’t believe he took us to the gun show,” Wedge comments from the couch. “Look at those pistols, bro!”

“You’re all terrible,” Cloud says, but Zack still has his arm around his middle completely, and he holds onto Zack’s shoulders so he doesn’t lose balance in these dumb shoes.

“I didn’t know your boyfriend was so sexy,” Kunsel says in awe. “I just thought you were dating that barista.”

“That’s what I’ve been trying to say this whole time!” Zack huffs.

“I’m not drunk enough for this,” Cloud mumbles.

Aerith claps her hands together and beams, “Oh! Oh! It’s time for the _spooky shots!”_

“I’m not waking up tomorrow, am I?”

“Nope.”

“If you drove here, do not drink anything she gives you,” Cloud says to Zack. “Barret helped her make it.” 

Zack looks at him all dreamy like. “Trust me, I learned my lesson last time.”

* * *

Zack doesn’t leave his side for the entirety of the evening. Talking in the backyard, grabbing food in the kitchen, watching games on the front lawn. Zack’s arm stays possessively around his waist, and Cloud doesn’t try and shake him off like he normally would.

When the majority of the party starts drunkenly dancing in the entryway, a small, quiet spot opens up by the punch bowl. His feet are starting to hurt, so Cloud leans up against Zack’s side, and Zack stays solid, like an unmovable wall.

Fingers ruffle into the underskirt, and then slide over his ribs. It tingles, and Cloud shivers from the sudden heat.

“Did you do this for me?” Zack asks.

Cloud rolls his eyes and scuffs his heel against the tile.

“What do you think?”

“I think your waist is _ridiculously_ tiny in this dress,” Zack says. He presses both hands under his ribs, and his fingers almost touch. “Like, my god.”

“Yeah, you said that.”

Zack looks at him, and they’re the same height now. Cloud doesn’t see him from this angle often; but he can see all the blue in his eyes, even in this dark corner of the kitchen.

“I thought you said _never in a trillion years,_ ” Zack recalls.

Cloud shrugs, and fixes Zack’s collar.

“Happy trillionth birthday.”

Zack looks him over again. He hasn’t stopped all night, and Cloud would be lying if he said it didn’t make him feel good. A reverent look crosses Zack’s face.

“Cloud…I…”

“Hey Zack!!! ZACK FAIR!!” Roche waves from across the room. “Come over here!”

“Give me a second!”

“No, you have to come now! Rude is doing his party trick!”

Zack sighs, and squeezes his hip.

“I’ll be right back.”

“Whatever.”

Zack passes through the crowd and hops the back of the couch. He looks so dumb in a green apron. Cloud smiles, and pours himself a drink.

He didn’t realize Tifa was sitting at the barstool, until he sees her wiping her eyes. Heart jerking, Cloud sets down his drink.

“Tifa! Tifa – are you okay?”

“Huh?” Tifa sniffles, and wipes her eyes again. “Oh – yes, haha! I’m fine. Sorry. I shouldn’t have been watching.”

Cloud frowns, confused.

“What?”

“It’s just…” Tifa stands, and wipes her nose with a skeleton napkin. “I’m just so fucking proud of you, Cloud.”

Her words hit like a sledgehammer to the chest. Cloud stands there and reels.

“Oh.”

“I’m sorry,” Tifa sniffs. “I’ve just – I’ve always worried about you, ever since we were kids. And there was a long time where…I just didn’t know if you’d ever be okay again.” She looks at him through watery eyes. “You should be so proud of yourself right now.”

Cloud feels his own throat burn. He can count Tifa’s tears on one hand.

Six months ago he never would’ve worn a dress, or walked in heels, or held hands with someone or kissed in public or _smiled_ even. Cloud doesn’t know what he’s become, but…

Cloud pulls her into a hug, and Tifa clings back to him. He squeezes her tight and says soft, “I didn’t get here alone.”

“Nobody else can be happy for you. This is something you worked hard to be.” 

Cloud smiles where she can’t see, and then forces his face flat again when she pulls away.

“You really smell like alcohol. Sit your ass back down.”

Tifa does as she’s told, but she has a sparkly look in her eye. Aerith eventually shows up to retrieve her, and Cloud is left feeling more emotions than he ever prepared for.

Shouting at the front door grabs his attention. Cloud looks up to pushing and shoving, and he sighs deeply. It’s never a dull moment around here. Cloud is prepared to ignore it, but the sound of Zack yelling puts his ass in gear.

“Are you a fucking _idiot?!”_

_“Woah, hey!!—”_

Cloud pushes some onlookers out of the way. Roche, Wedge, and Biggs are holding Zack back by the skin of their teeth. Rude and Kunsel are standing in front of Reno protectively. Cloud’s heart jumps, because sure, Reno is a dick sometimes, but he’s never seen Zack _yell_ at him.

“Hey!” Reno raises his hands. “You said _our_ house, not anyone else’s house!”

Cloud figures out the problem, and it’s cold water down his back. Sephiroth is standing at the door, eyebrows raised but otherwise unimpressed. Cloud goes rigid and his heart freezes over.

“And you,” Zack turns to Sephiroth. “What did you not understand about _if I see you again, it’s on sight.”_ His body language isn’t of a fratboy trying to start a fight; it’s of a solider that has the training and experience to end your life.

Sephiroth’s voice is flat. “I never took you for the moody type, Zack. I thought you were cool.”

Wedge’s grip slips on his arm, and Zack breaks free of the other two. Cloud jumps to grab him before he can rip Sephiroth a new one.

_“Zack,_ ” Cloud calls. Zack whips his head around to look at him, and Cloud feels his stomach roll as Sephiroth regards him coldly. Cloud swallows, “Don’t.”

Zack softens considerably, and grabs Cloud safely around his middle. “Cloud. Dammit, I’m so sorry about this.”

“It’s okay.”

“Look dude, I don’t know who you are,” Wedge says. “But you’re causing issues, and you need to go.”

Sephiroth slides his hands into his coat pockets and ignores Wedge entirely. He looks between Zack and Cloud, and raises his eyebrows.

“I came by to see why you had beef with me,” Sephiroth says, bored. “But now I understand. Interesting pick, Zack.”

It’s more ice-water down his spine. Cloud’s fingers drop off Zack’s arm, and he looks at Sephiroth, completely slack. His voice sounds small. 

“You remember.”

“Of course I remember,” Sephiroth rolls his eyes. “You were such a pain in my ass. Over the top and never knew when to give up. I see you haven’t changed.”

Cloud’s hands are shaking. They’ve gotten the attention of half the party, and Cloud becomes hyperaware of where he is, what he’s wearing, the emotions written on his face. Zack pushes Cloud behind him protectively, and Biggs and Wedge jerk forwards, “Hey!! What the hell, dude?”

Reno spins to give Sephiroth a look. “What the fuck is going on here?”

“You have ten seconds to get as far away from this house as you possibly can,” Zack says evenly.

“You don’t scare me, Fair,” Sephiroth drawls. He gets a satisfied look on his face, glances at Cloud, and says, “Did you know that he cried like a baby?”

Cloud’s throat burns, like he’s swallowed acid.

The party seems to come to a complete standstill, and nobody says a thing. Sephiroth didn’t say it outright, but it’s not that hard to jump to conclusions. Biggs and Wedge look to him in horror, and Cloud still can’t move. His heart has shriveled and died. 

Zack is deathly quiet. Then, he flies across the carpet. Shouting erupts as people try to hold Zack back, Rude pulls Reno away by the collar, people try to get between them, and everything feels like one of those slow-motion movies as Zack downs one, two, three people in his mission to rip Sephiroth’s head off his shoulders.

And then, Cloud has an epiphany.

Cloud uses all his strength to pull Zack back by the shoulder. Zack is so surprised that he tumbles backwards, and Cloud shoves him behind his arm.

Cloud used to fantasize about getting strong enough to kick Sephiroth’s ass. He used to wish he could wipe away his memories, like in the movies. He wanted to be a cool and untouchable person, where nothing could ever hurt him.

But Cloud realizes he doesn’t need any of those things. He keeps Zack locked behind his arm, and looks Sephiroth right in the eye.

“You’re right,” Cloud says. “I did cry. Because you were a _lousy fuck._ ”

Sephiroth stares in shock, completely taken back. The party is dead silent, nothing but the stupid Halloween music, and then everything pops off again.

_“OhhHHH shit!!!”_

_“Get the fuck outta’ here, dude!”_

_“Fuck off!”_

“No,” Cloud says. “Stay if you want, have some punch. I don’t give a shit about you anymore.”

A hand slides to his back, and Cloud looks over to see Zack standing at his side. Sephiroth tsks,

“You picked a real bitch, Fair.”

“I sure did,” Zack says.

Sephiroth takes his pride and leaves. 

A shoe comes flying over their heads, and it smacks the wall.

“ _Fuck I missed!_ ” Tifa shouts from the back. “ _Was that Sephiroth?! Let me through, dammit!”_

“Alright ya’ll, show’s over!” Barret calls from the end of the hall. “Get dancin’ or leave my goddamn house.”

Zack turns and presses Cloud’s cheeks between his palms. He’s sweaty, and his eyes are blown open and wild.

“Cloud, are you alright??”

He feels like his knees might lock, but otherwise…

“I’m surprisingly okay.”

“You are such a badass,” Zack says, wiping his cheeks and his jaw. “But I really wanted to break his nose.”

“You know…” Cloud pulls Zack’s hands away gently by the wrists. “It’s probably better you didn’t. They say it’s bad customer service.” 

Zack looks at him with a confused frown, but then he looks down and up at his own apron, and he starts to laugh attractively. 

“Well, you’re the expert.”

“Cloud!” Reno waves, making his way back through the hall. “Cloud. Shit, I’m so sorry dude. I didn’t know _that’s_ what the beef was about. Zack didn’t tell me anything!”

“It wasn’t my shit to tell, _Reno._ ”

“I’m over it,” Cloud says. And then, at that moment, he really is. Zack’s hand is warm on his waist, and the weight he’s been carrying on his shoulders is just not there. Cloud repeats, almost in awe. “I’m over it.”

A second shoe flies over their heads and thumps into the wall. Tifa is putting up an amazing fight for how drunk she is.

“Let me at him!”

“Tifa, he left already!”

Zack slides his hand up Cloud’s side, and leans forward so only Cloud can hear him. Zack’s breath is hot on his ear, and it makes him shiver.

“Hey…do you want to get out of here?”

“Tifa drove me,” Cloud reminds. Zack looks over to the living room, and watches Barret throw her over his shoulder.

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s happening.”

“My place?” Cloud suggests.

“Yeah.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> everyones been so nice, im nervous about posting these last few chapters, haha. i hope it lives up to ur expectations. 
> 
> this was really fun, ive been excited about this chapter for a while :^) 
> 
> also you can find hit me up on [tumblr](https://zanimez.tumblr.com/), im just quarantined like everyone else.


	8. Chapter 8

  
Cloud rides on the back of Zack’s bike.

He keeps his arms locked around his middle, and Zack drives slow, because Cloud is without a helmet. Cloud rests his cheek on his shoulder and closes his eyes against the cool wind ripping past them.

A lot of emotions are mixing around inside of him. They cancel each other out and burn off like incense, the longer Cloud stays curled up around Zack’s back.

Cloud is able to make his way up the apartment steps just fine, but Zack keeps an arm on him to make sure his heels don’t slip through the grates.

“I got it,” Cloud huffs.

Zack placates him, “I know, I know. I just can’t believe you can walk so well in those things.”

“Tifa made me practice.” Cloud digs into the pocket of his apron for the keys he stashed down there. He has to jiggle the lock open.

Lights on.

Zack shuts the door behind them. Cloud hesitates in the entryway, and the apartment sounds too quiet compared to the party they just left. He looks to the cactus, which he has now been limited to watering once a week. It has a pink flower.

Zack steps behind him and rests his hands at Cloud’s hips. He presses one, short kiss to the back of Cloud’s neck, where the short blonde hairs are all damp and sticky.

“You okay?”

“Yeah,” Cloud mumbles. He stares off at the wall. “I’m all peopled out.”

“Me too.”

“Hm. Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Cloud,” Zack sighs, and dips the tips of his fingers into the apron tie. “Why did you really wear this?”

_Why did I?_

“You deserved to be properly romanced,” Cloud eventually says, giving back Zack’s own words. Zack inhales and holds his breath. His fingers stop, and Cloud counts the seconds in his head. He looks at the sofa, his boots lined in the hall, the carpet under his shoes, and then turns his head partway when he gets no response. “So are you? Romanced?”

Zack presses his nose into his neck, and it sends goosebumps down Cloud’s arms.

“I have been from the very beginning. Even when you hated me.”

Cloud hums, “Sorry about that.”

“No, I’m sorry,” Zack starts. “About our argument earlier this week. I should’ve listened to what you were saying, but I was too caught up in myself.”

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” Cloud says. He turns, and it’s still odd to be so tall, but it’s nice for staring Zack in the eye. Crystal blue, sharp against his tan skin and jet black hair — Zack really is handsome. Cloud continues, “I just wanted to meet you halfway. To show you what _I_ wanted.” Cloud then holds him by the neck, and says with the utmost of sincerity. “Zack, I love you.”

Zack’s eyes glaze over. He’s able to blink it away, but Cloud still sees his face crack all over before he leans in and kisses Cloud steady. Cloud melts into him, moves into the kiss until they can’t breathe.

“I really love you too.”

“I know.”

Zack takes a shuddery breath, and then laughs to himself.

“My god. And here I was worrying myself sick. Fuck, I can’t stop _looking_ at you.”

Cloud runs his tongue along his teeth, and pulls Zack by the hand.

“Come on.”

Zack unties his green apron and toes off his shoes. The straps on Cloud’s platforms are buckled too tight to kick off, so he sits on the edge of his bed and reaches for the floor.

“Wait,” Zack says, popping his cufflinks and rolling up his white sleeves. “Let me.”

Cloud gives him an odd look, but Zack drops to a knee at the foot of the bed, and Cloud is left to stare as Zack starts to unbuckle one of the heels. The sight alone is kind of hot.

“Oh,” Cloud exhales.

“Do they hurt?”

“Yes.”

Zack sets his right shoe on the floor. Cloud cracks his toes, and then jumps when Zack kneads his thumbs into the sole of his foot. Cloud has thigh-highs on over the fishnets, and Zack’s fingers slide across the socks, and it is _pornographic_ it feels so good. Cloud doesn’t even bother to hide his moan.

“Well,” Zack hums, pushing into his toes. “You could say I’m definitely seduced _now_.”

Cloud sighs through his nose when Zack removes the other shoe. He massages his left foot just as well, and the bones in his toes crack. Cloud groans in his throat, closes his eyes and rolls his neck back on his shoulders. When he opens his eyes again, Zack is staring right at him. His top buttons are popped, and his arms look excessively large in the woven shirt, and it builds a concrete heat in his body.

Cloud flops backwards on the bed. He pushes his foot into Zack’s shoulder and gives him a look.

“Well?”

“Well what?”

“Help me take this stupid shit off.”

The bed dips as Zack presses a knee into the mattress. Cloud spreads his thighs, and the fluffy apron ruffles against the sheets. Zack wraps his hands around Cloud’s ankles and looks at him seriously.

“Cloud. Are you really sure about this?”

“Yes,” Cloud’s tone doesn’t waver. “Are you?”

Zack takes a moment to really think. His eyes comb him over, and his voice comes out husky and sure. “Yeah.”

“Good. I want you to fuck me so bad, I can’t even sleep anymore.”

Zack gapes at him. Then, he breaks out laughing.

“Dammit, Cloud! I’m trying to be serious.”

“I know,” Cloud says. He knocks his knee against Zack’s hip, and draws his eyes to him again. His stomach knots in nerves and attraction, but the feeling is familiar by now. “I trust you.”

Zack exhales. He runs his fingers up Cloud’s left leg – and then carefully pushes up the hem of the apron. He begins to roll down one of his socks inch by inch.

“You’re an amazing person, Cloud,” Zack mumbles. His eyes follow his hands, and Cloud wiggles his toes as Zack pulls the sock off completely. The right leg is the next to go, and Zack’s fingers are so warm, Cloud feels hot wherever he touches. “Fuck, I can’t – _fuck._ You turn my brain off completely. You make me fucking feral.”

Cloud laughs through his nose, and shifts higher on the bed to grab the waistband of the fishnets and push them down to his thighs.

“If I don’t like something, I’ll tell you,” Cloud assures, for himself and for Zack. Zack threads his fingers into the holes of the fishnet, and he stares dazedly as he rolls it off Cloud’s legs. Cloud’s voice drops to a mumble. “I’ve thought about this a lot.” 

“Have you really?”

“Yes.” The concentration on Zack’s face makes his heart hurt. When the hosiery is gone, Cloud plants his bare foot in Zack’s chest to get his attention. “Hey,” Cloud prods. Zack looks to him, and Cloud nudges him a little. “Thanks for having my back today.”

Zack carefully moves Cloud’s leg out of the way, and crawls between his thighs. Cloud is so, so relieved to have Zack’s weight on him, he almost moans.

“You don’t have to thank me for that,” Zack mutters, and Cloud’s back arches off the bed to kiss him. Zack’s tongue is a welcome intimacy in his mouth by now, but it still sets all his hair on end, still makes him keen from his throat. Zack’s hand slides up his thigh, and Cloud can feel broken callouses and old scars and a grip strong like iron.

Cloud pops Zack’s buttons without looking. Zack sits up to throw it off the side of the bed, and Cloud wiggles a hand behind his own back to untie the apron.

“Wait,” Zack stops him. Cloud sighs very patiently and saint-like.

_“What?”_

Zack laughs breathily and drags his hand over Cloud’s chest.

“I just wanted to look one more time before I never see this again.”

“Fucking Shiva,” Cloud rolls his eyes and pulls the tie on the bow. “I can wear another damn dress if you like it that much.”

Zack sniffs dramatically, “You _do_ love me.”

“Take this off, dammit.”

The underskirt and the apron get dumped to the floor. Cloud rolls to dig into his bedside drawer, but Zack distracts him before he can get that far.

Zack kisses him once at his sternum – so reverently, that it nearly steals his breath away. Cloud lets him do as he wants, lays there and twitches as Zack kisses up to his neck. Arousal curls in his core, but Cloud ignores it until Zack has had his fill. Cloud counts himself lucky that he can pet over Zack’s bare back and press his fingers into his deltoids. Zack twists a nipple between his fingers and pulls, and Cloud nearly smacks his head against the wall.

_“Zack!”_

Zack leans up and smiles into his mouth, dragging their lips together in a slow kiss and then pulling back. “I’m never going to be over how responsive your body is. It’s freaking gorgeous.”

“Shut up.”

Cloud is able to kick him off long enough to dig lube out of the drawer.

Zack looks hesitant, and he chews on his bottom lip. “Are you really sure? I can bottom if you want.” Cloud glares at him as if to say _are you kidding me,_ and Zack laughs. “Okay, okay, sheesh. Just checking.”

“It’s fine.” Cloud lifts his hips so Zack can roll off his underwear. “I’ve um…”

Shit, Cloud hesitated. Zack’s eyes snap up to him like a shark. The look in his eyes is suddenly wild – and damn him for learning to read Cloud so well.

“You’ve what.”

Cloud huffs through his nose, angry because he knows his face is getting red. He pops the cap and slicks his fingers.

“I’ve been practicing.”

And that seems to be the kick in the butt that gets Zack into gear, because he spreads Cloud’s thighs and jerks up to kiss at him, finally fast and needy and _hot –_ it’s like he’s boiling.

“Fuck, show me.”

Cloud does. It’s not that hard, but he has to breathe a little and stop when his heart starts to beat too fast. He can only work up to two fingers in his ass before his wrist hurts, but Zack is looking at him like he’s a holy meal, and Cloud can’t meet his eyes without squirming.

Zack sits back, pets over his cock and kisses at his knee.

“Did you think about me?”

Cloud rolls his eyes and spreads his fingers. “Who else would I fucking think about? The moon?”

Zack smiles toothlessly, and drops his eyes to watch Cloud fuck himself on his fingers. He pauses a moment, and then pets into his hip with a single finger. Zack lets him know where he is the whole time; one hand on his knee, the other slowly dragging along his navel, he never does anything that Cloud can’t feel coming. He pets up to Cloud’s wrist, and taps.

“Can I?”

Cloud swallows. He stares back at the ceiling, blinks hard, and then nods.

“Yeah.”

Zack pats around for the lube. Cloud pulls out his own fingers and breathes deeply as Zack slowly replaces them with his own. Oh _fuck,_ okay, that’s different. That’s…

Anxiety tightens in his chest. Cloud grips into Zack’s knee and blurts, “Wait, wait wait.”

Zack pauses for him. Cloud breathes a couple times, and reorients himself. Zack is staring right at him, and it’s Zack, it’s Zack. It doesn’t hurt. It’s Zack. 

“Alright?”

“Yeah. Go ahead.”

This is different when it’s someone else. Cloud had prepared himself for it to hurt again, but Zack’s fingers are gentle. Cloud jerks himself off, because he’s starting to get edgy and tense and unfortunately, needy.

“Anything off limits?” Zack asks.

Cloud hums, and focuses on Zack’s free hand running up and down his leg.

“Don’t put your hands around my throat.”

Zack curses angrily under his breath. Cloud watches him bite back a few different emotions, but Cloud gets distracted as Zack adds more lube and fingers him open. Zack screws in his fingers the right way, and the noise is just ripped out of him – Cloud groans through his teeth and twists his hips away.

“Hurt?” Zack asks wearily. 

“No,” Cloud blinks, and sets a hand over his racing heart. “That felt good.”

Zack laughs, “You look surprised.” Cloud doesn’t answer, and Zack pulls his fingers all the way out, and rolls them back in one at a time. Cloud can feel the stretch, can feel the alarm over how _different_ it is compared to his limited experience. Zack curls gently into his prostate, and it’s not an electric shock, but a slow crawl of a burn, like setting fire to the edge of a letter. “Sex is supposed to feel good,” Zack says, and then proves his point.

Cloud is feeling needy when Zack pulls out his fingers and reaches for the lube again, and Cloud is able to wrestle Zack back on top of him through sheer willpower. Zack ends up grinding against his thigh through his underwear, and Cloud groans, because even through the fabric he can feel how stiff and hot Zack is. Zack’s neck is just there, like a temptation, so Cloud leans up and sucks into the side of his neck, and Zack makes a sound so low it might’ve come from hell itself. And _that_ makes Cloud about the horniest he’s ever been.

“Come on, chop chop.” 

“I’m trying, you fox,” Zack laughs. Cloud bites at his mouth, and Zack bites him back. “Relax. And stop _ah –_ doing that.” 

Cloud has to press the pillow to his face when Zack sits back up and spreads his thighs. Zack walks him through it, and Cloud’s heart is a rocket in his chest, and he can feel the blood past his ears, and Cloud doesn’t realize it’s already over until he’s stretched full with Zack’s hips propped against his own. Cloud presses a hand to his navel, because he almost can’t believe how good it feels.

Zack pauses, taking Cloud’s stunned silence as another spout of panic, but Cloud can’t breathe for an entirely different reason. Zack’s face is flushed, and he’s breathing heavy as he does his best to stay perfectly still, and Cloud’s back arches off the bed entirely. Any other thoughts have flown out the window, it’s over.

“Zack _move._ ”

Cloud racks his nails over strong, panther-like shoulder blades. Zack starts to fuck him slow, and all the anxiety turns to heat and melts away.

Zack curses repeatedly, combs him over and carefully kisses him.

“You are – _fuck,_ fuck you feel good.” 

The rasp of Zack’s voice trebles through him. Cloud huffs in frustration and wiggles his hips and _oh_ oh oh. They fit just right, like they were made for each other. Sometimes, Cloud can still feel the rope that dug into his arms, the handprint around his throat – but this is so universally different, the memory doesn’t even cross his mind.

Cloud chuffs and squirms.

“So are you — now move it.”

Zack’s laugh is just right; not mocking, only familiar.

Cloud’s legs get thrown over Zack’s arms. Cloud bites at his wrist and his palm and his fingers because it’s _so_ good, it’s so good and Cloud has neighbors, and he can feel every low sigh Zack makes, can feel it right in his chest like he got kicked with a pair of cleats. Zack is slow and careful until it drives Cloud absolutely crazy. Zack makes love to him like there’s a camera rolling, like there’s hours of b-roll left to film, and Cloud is going to fucking kill him.

“Zack, _pick it up._ I know you didn’t screw anyone else like this.”

“Yeah,” Zack mumbles. “Cause you’re not anyone else.”

Sweat is sticking black hair to his forehead, and he already sounds a bit gone, and Cloud throbs knowing it’s because of him. Cloud rolls his hips into Zack’s lap and sighs as Zack slides deeper in him.

“Don’t be a sap.”

“You like itttt.”

Cloud smacks Zack’s shoulder until he gets the memo, and then Cloud is rolled to his knees and really given it. Zack is strong, but Cloud is strong too, and he holds up Zack’s weight against his back, drinks in the blanket comfort and rolls his eyes shut and groans.

Zack finds his fingers and threads them together, pushing their hands into the sheets. Cloud cries into the pillow, because it’s too late, he’s got a noise complaint coming anyways.

Cloud’s name sounds good rasped against his shoulder. Zack is losing his careful edge; his rhythm is going staccato enough to drive Cloud up a wall. And then he is – literally, when Cloud begs to come and Zack yanks him back by the hips and shoves him up against the drywall. Cloud makes a horrible, dying sound. Zack’s voice is grainy and lost.

“Feels good?”

“What do you think?” Cloud hisses. “Touch me or I’ll die.”

Zack slides his hand between his legs and wraps a hand around his dick and Cloud _does_ die, all over his nice wall. Cloud rocks back against him and Zack doesn’t let go, trailing encouragement against his ear and down his neck and Cloud shivers and twitches, riding back until Zack is so deep, Cloud can feel it in his mouth.

“Fuck, fuck fuck,” Zack curses, and it’s the loudest he’s been yet, and it hits Cloud with a wave of aftershock. Cloud reaches back and gets a handful of his ass and tugs him snug. All the energy has been screwed out of him, but he’s hyperaware of everywhere they’re touching, of how hard Zack is still way up his ass.

Cloud says his name under his breath, turns his head so he can find his mouth and say it again. Zack tries to pull out but Cloud won’t let him, and he ends up grinding Cloud into the wall until Zack stops breathing, and then trembles all over, his voice running sinfully deep. It makes Cloud’s teeth rattle, it’s so good.

Nothing about this is like he remembers. And right now, Cloud isn’t sure if he can remember anything at all. He’s sweaty, sticky, but something about being with a person you care about makes you forget those things.

“I didn’t get to blow you,” Zack complains, panting against his shoulder. “Can you get it up again?”

“Yeah.” 

* * *

Cloud wakes up in the middle of the night. It’s weird, because he remembers going to _sleep_ in the middle of the night, so he couldn’t have been knocked out for more than an hour.

The bedroom is dark, even under his curtains. You can hear a thump upstairs, so it must be around three in the morning. It takes Cloud a moment to realize why he’s woken up at such a weird time.

Zack is up. Well, not really – but he has Cloud in his arms, and he’s playing with the strands at the back of his hair. Cloud can’t stand to sleep naked, but Zack only pulled on his boxers, so Cloud is greeted by a bare chest when he opens his eyes.

Zack pauses. Cloud stretches, and forces his cold toes into Zack’s calf.

“Mm. Can’t sleep?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you up,” Zack whispers. Cloud shrugs one shoulder and closes his eyes again.

“It’s whatever.”

Zack resumes whatever he was doing with his hands, and it feels nice. Everything smells like Zack right now – even his pillow. Cloud shifts, and Zack breathes a quiet laugh through his nose.

“Stop attacking me with your icicle feet.”

“No,” Cloud mumbles. One arm is trapped between them, and he blindly runs his knuckles over Zack’s collar bone, just to feel him breathe. “My back hurts.”

“I’m sorry. I was trying to be gentle.”

“I know, and I threw that idea out the window,” Cloud yawns. “Let me complain.”

“Such a baby,” Zack sighs happily, and tolerates Cloud wiggling a thigh against his own. “If only the world knew.”

The silence is soft and light, like the sheets they’re tousled in. It goes on for so long, Cloud starts to think Zack has fallen asleep. He’s only seen Zack sleep once or twice, and it was when he was dead tired and post a caffeine crash.

Cloud swallows, and opens his eyes. Zack is wide awake and staring at the wall over his head. Cloud has no idea what he’s thinking about, but it doesn’t look fun.

Zack’s breath catches when Cloud reaches up to cup his cheek. He shifts higher on the pillows so they’re eye to eye.

Cloud is still post-sex sleepy and not in the right mind, but he knows what he wants to say, and his filter isn’t there right now.

“You can sleep,” Cloud says. “I won’t let anything happen to you.”

Zack’s eyes go incredibly wide, but the rest of his face stays blank. He tries for a smile, but it looks like Cloud might’ve dug into a soft spot. Zack’s tone is light.

“You won’t leave?”

“It’s my apartment,” Cloud teases back. Zack looks away, but Cloud pets over his scar. “No,” he says. “I won’t leave you.”

Zack swallows thickly, and doesn’t respond. He eventually closes his eyes. Cloud runs his fingers back and forth over Zack’s cheek, for minutes and minutes and maybe an hour, until Zack’s breathing evens out, and he eventually starts to snore. It’s annoying and cute at the same time, and Cloud is relieved.

With Zack’s arm slack over his side, Cloud can easily pass back out again.

* * *

When Cloud wakes up again, it’s well past morning. The sun lights up the perimeter of his curtains, and everything feels warm. Cloud looks around and pouts when he realizes that he is alone.

“Calm down, I just had to pee,” Zack laughs, entering the room. Cloud rolls his face back into the pillows and sighs.

“We need to shower.”

“Yeah we do. Also you have like, _no_ food.”

“Order breakfast,” Cloud mumbles.

Zack snorts, and runs his hand up Cloud’s back.

“And I guess I’m doing that?”

“ _I_ don’t want to talk on the phone,” Cloud huffs. Zack rolls his knuckles into his lower back, and it’s heavenly.

“Right.” Cloud can hear the smile in his voice. “How are you feeling?”

“Fine,” Cloud says. “Hungry.” Also kind of horny, but that’s only because Zack has begun to squeeze his ass.

“I order food, then shower?”

Cloud rolls and captures Zack with his legs.

“Maybe not particularly in that order.”

“I’ve created a monster,” Zack laughs, and kisses him. His mouth tastes minty, and that’s cheating. Cloud threads his fingers in black bedhead and pulls and pulls and pulls.

Hours later, when Cloud is showered and fed and spread out on the couch, he tosses his phone onto the coffee table and groans.

“Zack. Shoot me.”

“Yeeeah I was waiting for you to see those,” Zack says. Cloud glares at him, and Zack lifts his hands. “Hey, I sure as shit didn’t post them.”

His entire timeline is going crazy with pictures from the Halloween party. The night produced a variety of disastrous photos; Jessie with a million marshmallows in her mouth, Tifa passed out drunk on the porch stairs, Barret doing the cha cha slide – but the most common topic of interest is Cloud’s costume.

“I love them, but I also hate them,” Cloud says.

“Welcome to having friends.”

“Shut up. Next year you’re wearing the dress.”

“Oh, _gladly._ ”

* * *

_Cling~ Cling ~_

Cloud looks up from the frappe he’s making, and then glances at his watch.

“Two-thirty. Tifa, I think the world is ending.”

“It can’t end yet! I haven’t seen the newest episode of the bachelor.”

Zack laughs and approaches the counter. Cloud hands Tifa the finished coffee, and she calls out the name.

“My professor cancelled class,” Zack explains. “Something about a butterfly migration. I don’t know.”

Cloud raises an eyebrow, “What? Also cold or hot today.”

“Iced please. And listen, I have no idea. She’s one of those professors that listens to crystals and thinks the planet is speaking to her.”

“So, Aerith.”

“Yeah basically.” Zack looks around the café, noting a lack of Halloween decorations. He then turns to Tifa and grins. “So Tifa, how was that Halloween hangover?”

Tifa’s pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs. Her long hair is pulled up in messy buns, and she still doesn’t look all there.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I think we should,” Cloud says. “ _Tifa the Great_ had her first hangover. It’s monumental.”

“It’s not funny – I thought I was going to die! I almost made Aerith take me to the hospital.”

“If you can avoid getting your stomach pumped, do it at all costs,” Zack says, handing Cloud some change. “That shit fucks with you for months.”

“Dully noted,” Tifa mumbles. “I think if we prevent Aerith and Barret masterminding drinks in the immediate future, I’ll survive to see another day.”

A tall man enters the store. He’s just a normal businessman, but Cloud is intrigued to see the way Zack subtly shifts on his feet, blocking Cloud out of view for a moment before he deems the man safe.

The longer Cloud gets to know Zack, the more he learns about him. Cloud has come to understand that Zack is aware of every person in the room, no matter where they are or what they’re doing. He exudes such a calm and happy-go-lucky attitude, that it’s easy to miss if you don’t know what to look for.

“Welcome!” Tifa greets. Zack moves over to the pickup counter, and Cloud mixes the coffee and pours it over ice.

“Zack Fair,” Cloud calls, sliding the drink across the counter with a straw.

“Thank you gorgeous,” Zack purrs. “Are you busy this weekend?”

Cloud snorts, and leans up against the barista station.

“Are you asking me out on a date?”

“What if I was?”

“This is a place of business.”

“C’mon, I’ll show you a good time,” Zack flirts, and even now, Cloud’s stomach does somersaults.

It feels like they’ve come full circle; Zack in his big college sweatshirts and his track pants and his ripoff slides that are scuffed around the heel. His hat is on backwards, there’s pen on his face, and his nails are stained from refusing to wear gloves while working with motor oil, and Cloud loves him very, very much.

“Maybe I’ll think about it.”

They ride out of town that weekend; out to the mountains, and past the crack in the road that’s long been filled in. If you go far enough, the trees turn to pine, and the air gets lighter and the stars get brighter – and they park their bikes on the side of the road and lay there until it gets too cold to stay.

* * *

This is the first movie night since the fated Halloween party. Weeks have come and gone, but nobody is in the mood for any heavy drinking yet, so it’s soda and snacks and karaoke, because Jessie picks a snoozer.

Cloud doesn’t want much to do with the singing. Zack isn’t here because he had a presentation to practice for, so Cloud was roped into helping Aerith prep tacos in the kitchen. He doesn’t mind that much.

 _“Play that funky music, white boy!”_ Barret sings. _“Lay down the boogie and play that funky music till’ you –”_

“Why do you encourage this?” Cloud sighs.

Aerith giggles and swipes her chopped lettuce into a bowl.

“I like when Barret sings. He’s so carefree.”

Cloud peeks into the living room, where the three musketeers are headbanging along.

“I guess you could say that.”

Cloud grates cheese into a bowl. Aerith begins prep on tortillas, and bounces back on her heels.

“Soooo. How have you been?”

Cloud sets down the cheese grater. He already knows that tone, so it’s not worth prolonging this any further. 

“What is it?”

“What’s what?” Aerith asks lightly.

“Come on, Aerith.”

Aerith washes her hands, and then carefully dries them with a towel.

“I just…want to make sure you’re okay. You haven’t um…seen that man again, have you?”

Ah. Cloud runs his tongue along his teeth, and answers short.

“No. I haven’t.”

“That’s good.” Aerith stares into space, a frown on her delicate features. “I never knew. Tifa didn’t mutter so much as a word. She’s a good friend to you.”

“You’re my friend too,” Cloud says. “I um. I should’ve…”

“No,” Aerith snaps. “Don’t. Whatever happened between you two…that’s none of our business. I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

Cloud has had enough heart to hearts to last a lifetime. But he’s…relieved, too.

“I’m fine. I just didn’t want anyone to look at me differently.”

“You know we never would,” Aerith says seriously. “All of us – we have your back. If something like that _ever –_ ”

“Aerith, come on.”

“I’m being serious! If any of us experienced something terrible, would you be happy with us suffering alone? Me? Tifa? Biggs or Wedge or Barret?”

Cloud jerks forward, “Of course not!” Aeirth gives him a _there you have it_ motion with her hands, and Cloud sinks backwards. “Alright,” Cloud sighs. “I get it.”

“I’d like to see that asshole step foot in here again,” Aerith flexes her arm. “You should’ve seen Biggs and Wedge. They were mad enough to eat a house.”

Cloud raises an eyebrow, and watches Wedge take his turn at the karaoke.

“Is that so.” 

“Oh, Cloud! Will you flip that tortilla for me?”

“Aerith, it’s completely black.”

“Oh no! That’s what you get for distracting me.”

“You’re the one that – ” Cloud figures out that he’s in an impossible argument before he even finishes his sentence. “You know what, sure. You’re right.”

Aerith beams, “You’ve learned almost as fast as Tifa.” 

“And _that’s_ why we’re engaged,” Tifa says, passing by on her way back from the bathroom.

“Hm,” Cloud says. A beat passes, Aerith starts frying another tortilla, and then Cloud nearly jumps out of his skin. “WAIT. _Engaged?!_ ”

 _“She’s a bad mamma jamma!”_ Wedge sings.

* * *

The cactus lives on. It’s outgrown the pot by giving birth to a family of smaller cacti, and Aerith helps him separate and replant the family into different pots which now line the shelves of his front hallway like an airport landing strip.

Cloud doesn’t kick his shoes off by the door anymore. Zack bought him a shoe organizer that hangs on the back of his bedroom door.

The weird yellow lighting goes bad after a couple months. Zack comes over, and they spend the good part of the day rewiring the fixtures and replacing the bulbs. They’re brighter now — and Cloud got to watch Zack do his hot mechanic thing, so Cloud won twice.

Cloud still doesn’t make his bed military style, and he still pins his nametag to the fridge every night, and his closet is still a sea of black clothing, so some things haven’t changed.

But it’s good.   
  


  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tadaaaa. Thank u for all the sweet messages! Ive got one more chapter to wrap everything up ~


	9. Chapter 9

Zack gets called into the auto shop all day Friday, and because Cloud isn’t scheduled, he decides to stop by with some takeout.

The auto shop is full of noise. The storefront smells like febreze, and an old box tv is playing a sports game on the wall. 

“Hey there, kid,” Angeal greets at the door.

Cloud nods, “Angeal.”

“Here for the puppy?”

“Yup.”

“He’s in the back,” Angeal points. Cloud waves with the few free fingers he has, and shoulders open the door to the garage.

Zack is on his back working beneath a jacked up car, and Cloud quietly stands and watches him work. Dressed in the mechanic blues, Zack has the top half of his uniform rolled to his waist, and his white tank is covered in grease, which entirely defeats the purpose of his uniform, but Cloud isn’t about to complain about his arms. It’s entertaining to see him so concentrated, but Cloud’s hands are getting cold from the drinks.

“I brought McDonalds,” Cloud says.

“Wha-?” _Bang!_

Zack reels back and flinches, and Cloud sets the food down on the bench.

“Shit, are you okay?”

“I’m good, I’m good.”

Zack’s mechanic buddies are cracking up on the curb, like a bunch of cackling crows.

“Oh, don’t worry, he does it all the time!” a mechanic hollers. 

Cloud frowns and watches Zack roll out on the creeper.

“That’s why you leave with bumps on your head.”

“You brought me food?” Zack beams, totally elated and not at all bothered by the black mark on his forehead. “Wow, thank you!”

Cloud wipes the smudge with his sleeve. 

“Be more careful, moron.” 

“Yeah yeah. I actually have catlike reflexes, and what you didn’t see was the deadly laser that almost fried my eyebrows off.” 

“Uh huh.” 

Zack bends down and pecks his mouth hello, and then starts hunting through the food bags.

“Awwwww,” calls the audience.

Zack rolls his eyes in good humor, and elbows Cloud gently. “Let’s go eat in the break room.”

Cloud hesitates, “I didn’t mean to interrupt what you were working on.” Except he kind of did.

“Mahh it’s fine. I have until tomorrow to fix the break lines. C’mon.”

Cloud follows him into the air-conditioned building, and down the hall towards the breakroom. There are card tables and a vending machine, and the floor smells like the same cleaner they use in the café. Zack starts digging into his burger, and Cloud didn’t succeed very well at rubbing off that smudge, but… it’s cute.

“Are you sure you still want to own your own shop?” Cloud asks. “You seem happy here.”

“Yeah, I like Angeal a lot,” Zack nods. “But I still want to do more custom work than maintenance. I’ll either have to open up my own place, or convince Angeal to partner with me.” Zack sips his soda and crushes the ice around with his straw. “Either way, it’s kind of a pipe dream.”

“I don’t think so,” Cloud says. “You’re a hard worker.” Zack looks to him happily, and Cloud glances away, embarrassed.

“You’ve become so cute,” Zack smiles. “Even more than usual. Who allowed that?”

“You’re dreaming,” Cloud says, and steals his fry. Zack sits criss-cross on the chair and talks about the busy holiday season and exams and the new dog Rude adopted and it’s a good lunch, as far as fast food goes.

* * *

“Twenty one, twenty two, twenty four!” Marlene giggles, having the time of her little six-year-old life.

“Marlene baby, you missed twenty-three,” Barret says.

“Oh no!” Zack says in a dramatic voice. “I guess we have to start all over again!”

Marlene squeals happily, and Zack resumes bench pressing her on the floor. Every ten reps he pretends that she is _incredibly_ heavy, and Marlene is eating it up like candy.

“He’s good with her,” Barret notes, in a somewhat quieter voice. Barret’s default settings are loud and louder, so an attempt is made.

“Yeah,” Cloud shrugs. “Now you can call him to babysit instead of me.”

Zack lifts her with one hand, and Marlene spirals into another fit of giggles.

“Hey now, Marlene loves when you babysit,” Barret agues. “I’m the one that don’t trust you as far as I can throw ya’.”

“Thanks.”

“Your arms are going to get tired eventually,” Tifa laughs, as Zack switches Marlene to his other hand.

“Oh they’re burning!” Zack wails, and once again pretends that Marlene weighs a thousand pounds. “Woooaah, so heavy! What have you been eating?!”

“My vegetables!” Marlene giggles.

“That’s my girl!” Barret says proudly.

“Oh, in that case.” Zack starts to bench her like she weighs nothing, and even Tifa laughs.

Watching him makes something strange settle in Cloud’s stomach. Zack is so different from him in every possible way – sometimes it’s hard to believe that Zack is attracted to him at all.

Zack sets down Marlene when she’s had enough, and he stretches out an arm in Cloud’s direction on the couch.

“Hey babe, you want a turn?”

“Ha. Ha.”

“Come on, I can lift you!”

“Get off the floor you weirdo,” Cloud says. Marlene decides to take a running jump at Zack, and Zack makes a dramatized _oof!_ sound.

“Aye Marlene, take it easy on him,” Barret chuckles.

“She got me with the piledrive,” Zack says. “Wonder where she learned that?”

“No damn clue,” Barret replies innocently. 

Tifa elbows Cloud in the side. He turns his head along the back of the couch, and Tifa wiggles her eyebrows. Cloud rolls his eyes.

“Stop that.”

“Come ooon, you think it’s cute.”

Barret starts narrating their wrestling match like it’s a sport, and Zack picks up Marlene and carefully tosses her into the pillows.

“Get the chair, get the chair!”

“Oh, she’s on the ropes!”

Cloud grabs Marlene’s wrist before she can jump back on Zack.

“Hey,” Cloud says. “He’s ticklish on his feet.”

“That’s cheating!” Zack gasps, and then has to actively keep his feet away from a determined six-year-old. Cloud ignores the satisfied look Tifa is giving him. He knows he’s gone soft, you don’t have to remind him.

A darker feeling drops into his stomach and stays there. 

* * *

The holidays seem to roll around faster each year. It’s worse when you work customer service, because people are bitchy and throw fits about the decorations and the cups and it’s _coffee,_ holy shit, but you’d be surprised what people will complain about. Some of the college kids are okay. Some.

Cloud never had much of an interest in Christmas, besides getting the day off. Tifa always refused to let him celebrate alone, and because Zack has no family either, he gets dragged along too.

Aerith is the one that’s into decorations and tradition and whatever. Cloud doesn’t exactly have all the money in the world for presents, but he does his best. They drink eggnog and watch hallmark movies and Zack nods off on his shoulder and it’s fine. Not a big deal.

Except, when they’re back safely at Zack’s house, Zack pulls out an extra present.

“No,” Cloud frowns. “No way. You got me that helmet. I can’t accept anything else.”

“C’mon baby, this is different.” Zack slides him a box. “Just open it, please? You’ll see.” 

Inside the box is an airbrush set. It’s expensive, and Cloud is seriously stunned.

“What is this for?” he croaks.

“Well…” Zack scratches his head. “I was hoping…um. Ha, now that I think about it, this is really shitty, but…I want you to do a custom paint job on my bike.”

“You want _me,_ ” Cloud points. “To paint your Harely?”

Zack looks at him with all the sincerity in the world.

“Yes.”

Flattered doesn’t even cover it. Cloud is just straight up _intimidated._

Cloud mulls on the paint job for weeks. While Zack is studying for finals, Cloud practices on cardboard boxes and his metal trash can and to Zack’s dismay, his own arms.

Cloud decides to paint a blue and purple galaxy, with a million stars and planets. It reminds him of the day he rolled off his bike and pulled Zack into the grass with him. Zack almost cries when he sees it, because he’s a sap, and Cloud does _not_ cry when Zack cries because Cloud is calm and collected and not at all influenced by Zack whatsoever. 

* * *

This has become kind of familiar.

Cloud likes the way Zack fits against him. Face squished into the shower wall, Zack lined up against his back, just fucking him sleepy and slow. It’s a marathon instead of a race, and Cloud doesn’t so much see a goal in mind rather than just enjoying Zack’s nose wedged in his shoulder, hand pressed hot against his stomach.

Cloud has felt weird since Aerith and Tifa got engaged. They’re still too early on to be thinking about something like that, but Cloud can’t believe how domestic he and Zack have become.

Zack pets across his chest and kisses his ear, and Cloud trembles, a noise shaking out of him.

“I love you,” Zack says.

Cloud digs his teeth into his lip, because for _whatever_ fucking reason, Cloud’s eyes start to sting with tears. Where the hell is this even coming from? Cloud’s breathing hiccups, and he rolls his forehead to the cold shower wall, and he blinks rapidly to keep himself from crying out of nowhere. He can feel how much Zack means it, and it’s overwhelming. Cloud gets it together by the skin of his teeth.

“I love you too,” Cloud manages. Zack hears the wobble in his voice but wisely doesn’t comment, just turns his head and kisses him until the water isn’t hot anymore.

* * *

“I’m sorry,” Cloud repeats over the sound of Zack’s idling bike. The light is still red, and Zack’s voice comes out muffled through the helmet.

“It’s okay sweetheart. Are you sure you left it there?”

“I don’t really know. It’s not like me to just lose my wallet like that.”

They’re supposed to be making a reservation for a restaurant tonight. Neither of them are the fancy restaurant type, but Zack’s graduation is something worth celebrating.

Cloud sits on the back of his bike and holds his waist. Zack doesn’t seem upset, but Cloud folds up to his back just to be sure. When they pull into the parking lot, Cloud notes that the lights are off on the Café, and no cars are in sight.

“I’ll just be a second,” Cloud says, hopping off the back and grabbing his keys. Zack takes in the dark alley and the empty Café, and cuts his ignition.

“I’ll go with you.”

Cloud hums nonchalantly and approaches the door. The lock always sticks, so Cloud has to wiggle it around before it throws. Zack _was_ standing calmly behind him with his hands in his pockets, but he tenses as soon as he opens the door. Zack whips his head around and jerks Cloud behind him by the arm.

“Cloud!”

“ _SURPRISE!!!”_

The lights go on, and everyone pops out from their hiding places. The whole café has been decorated with little graduation hats, confetti and balloons. Zack freezes in place, and Cloud sets a hand supportively at his back.

“Happy graduation,” Cloud says.

Zack blinks and blinks, and then he starts to laugh hysterically.

“Holy shit! You guys scared the crud out of me!”

Everyone is here. Barret, Biggs and Jessie – Tifa and Aeirth, Reno and Rude and all of his annoying friends. Zack relaxes, and the smile on his face is adorable.

“Congrats on the smartman paper!” Jessie throws confetti.

Zack snickers, and starts to clap and hug people, “Jeez, thanks guys. This is crazy.”

“Make us proud, mister business dude!”

Tifa hands Cloud his wallet.

“And here you are, sir.”

Zack whips around. “Wait, you knew??”

Cloud rolls his eyes, “Of course I knew.”

“Damn.” Zack kisses him fat on the cheek. “You’re a good fucking actor.”

“Mm, I know.”

“Get in here, Fair!” Barret hugs him. “We’ve got moonshine and cheesecake, so jump on in, brother.”

“I’ll also be taking these,” Cloud says, dipping his hand into Zack’s back pocket and removing his keys.

“Oh lord,” Zack curses, but is happily swept up when his friends come to drag him across the café. Tifa pats Cloud on the back.

“He looked surprised.”

“Yeah,” Cloud nods. “Thanks for your help.”

“Oh it’s no problem. You have to come in early Monday and clean anyways.”

Cloud sighs, and watches Kunsel spill over his drink.

They hang out on the booths and drink and have cake, and Zack ends up with his head in Cloud’s lap after a third round of moonshine.

“When will I learn?” Zack whines. Cloud pets his hair away from his face.

“I feel like there are two occasions in life where it’s socially okay to get fucked up,” Cloud says.

“And what are those?” Biggs asks, clearly amused.

“Your college graduation and your wedding.”

“I can’t wait until we get married,” Zack slurs. “I’m not going to drink at all so I can remember everything.”

Cloud can’t help it; he flushes down to his toes. Everyone turns to look at him, and it’s like a sea of grinning sharks. Well, except.

“You two are so gross it makes me fucking sick,” Reno scowls and shoots back a drink. Jessie raises her own in an _amen, brother._ Rude elbows Reno right in the kidneys.

Cloud knows his face is still red, so he tugs on Zack’s ear as a punishment.

 _“Ow!_ ” Reno and Zack say.

“Cloud, your taste in men is impeccable,” Biggs snickers. 

Cloud rolls his eyes, “Oh just do us a favor and come out of the closet already.”

Jessie laughs so hard she sucks alcohol down the wrong pipe and ends up hacking into a napkin for twenty minutes. Biggs flounders like a fish, and Tifa reaches over to pat his hand.

“It’s okay, take your time.” 

“But! I— I’m really not —“

“Aye man, you can’t leave me as the last straight guy in the group,” Barret teases. 

“We’ll work on you too, big guy.” 

When everyone is ready to uber home, Cloud drives Zack back to his apartment on the back of his space-painted Harley. Zack has sobered up enough to balance upright, and by the time Cloud parks, Zack is good to walk up the stairs on his own. He still looks a bit out of it, but he’s doing well, all things considered.

Zack crawls right into his bed and flops all over the pillows, like a six-foot-two toddler.

“Sorry we didn’t get to go to a fancy dinner,” Cloud says, taking off his suit jacket.

“S’ okay,” Zack mumbles. “This was way better. And you looked hot in the suit, so I like, double won.”

Cloud redresses in sweatpants, and helps Zack with his clothes. He then crawls on top of him, and Zack’s arms lock around his back like a seatbelt.

“Congratulations,” Cloud kisses him. “Can I hang _The Human Ego is Amazing_ on my wall?”

“No,” Zack laughs. “That painting is terrible. You are so much more talented than me it makes me want to cry.”

“Well you figured out why my dishwasher exploded. That’s talent.”

“True talent is _making_ a dishwasher explode.” Zack’s voice is sleepy and gravelly and rough, and it rolls down Cloud’s back. He kisses Cloud again, smooths his hand down to his ass and squeezes, and Cloud huffs.

“No way. You are drunk and I am stone cold sober.”

“Stone cold?” Zack mumbles, his hand returning to Cloud’s hip. “That’s no fun.”

Well, Cloud enjoyed himself, but he doesn’t say that. He sits up to click off the light, and then presses his cheek against Zack’s shoulder.

“You didn’t brush your teeth.”

“Comfy.”

Cloud can’t argue there. He can feel each of Zack’s steady breaths as his chest rises and falls. Cloud finds his hand and threads their fingers together. He has a short moment in his head, where he marvels at how easy it is now. How seamless it is to just reach for Zack whenever he wants.

“Was the surprise okay?” Cloud whispers.

“Hm? Yeah, it was awesome.”

“I told them nothing loud, like poppers.”

“I appreciate that.” Zack mulls for a moment, and then squeezes his fingers. “Most of the time, stuff like that doesn’t bother me at all. But every once in a blue moon something sets me off and it’s like I’m jerked into the past, and I can’t get out.”

Cloud appreciates that Zack can tell him these things now. Cloud presses a hand flat to Zack’s chest, and feels him continue to breathe. There is scar tissue under his hand, and every now and then Zack flinches away, but sometimes Cloud does too. Their world is a learning curve.

“I know the feeling.”

Zack closes his eyes, on the cusp of sleep already. His voice is just above a whisper.

“I don’t have to go to school anymore.”

Cloud breathes him in, rubbing his cheek against his shoulder, as if he could take in the last of Zack’s faded cologne.

“Proud of you.”

Zack hums happily.

“Thanks for sitting through that whole ceremony.”

“Well, yeah. I couldn’t just – not.”

“My dad wouldn’t have,” Zack smiles. “He couldn’t stand ceremonies.”

Cloud swallows, suddenly finding it a little hard to breathe. The air is very quiet, a touch intimate. 

“And your mom?”

“She could stand still for hours.” Zack snorts, “I didn’t inherit much from her. She was a great general, though.”

“Your mom was military?”

“Both parents, actually. It’s um…it’s why I joined.”

Cloud presses his lips between his teeth, and then asks outright, “Is that how…?”

“Yeah.”

“Sorry.”

Zack shrugs.

“It is what it is.”

Cloud hesitates for a moment; takes in the quiet, safe place they’ve built here and says, “Never knew my dad. My mom was a worrier, though. When she got sick, she would pray every day that I would find a wife who would love me. I think her biggest fear was for me to be alone.”

Zack pets down his side, and rolls his head to look him in the eye. It’s hard in the dark, but Cloud nearly has his face memorized anyways.

“She sounds very sweet.”

“She nagged a lot.”

“I think that’s what moms do.”

 _You’re probably the one my mom prayed for,_ Cloud thinks, but doesn’t say. Zack yawns, and Cloud covers his eyes with his hand.

“Go to sleep.”

Zack snickers, and gently pulls his hand away.

“Are you going to fight off all my bad dreams?” Zack teases.

“Yes,” Cloud says. “Personally. Unless there are ghosts. Then you’re on your own.”

“Ghosts huh?” Zack dozes. “I’ll fight your ghosts.”

* * *

“Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger,” Cloud drawls.

“You _wish_ you had the same chaotic energy as Ed,” Zack says as he enters the café.

Cloud snorts as he continues to count out his drawer. Zack hops up and sits on the edge of the counter, and Cloud doesn’t even look up.

“I just wiped that down.”

“My ass is clean, promise.”

“Not if you’ve been rolling around in a pigsty all day.”

“I actually went home and _showered_ first, thanks,” Zack says. “Also where’s my kiss?”

Cloud sighs through his nose and pretends like it’s a chore to lean over and kiss him. Zack hums happily and grabs him by the neck and it last a few moments longer than necessary, because kissing Zack still makes his mouth tingle. Shut up.

“There. Now let me finish counting.”

“Fifty-six, seventy two, eighty nine,” Zack calls in random numbers. Cloud slugs him at the side of his thigh, and Zack starts to laugh. Cloud continues to count out the drawer, and Zack gives him a few minutes of quiet. Cloud can feel him watching, but says nothing. Zack kicks his feet and hums. “As much as you complain about working here, you put a lot of love into this place.”

Cloud writes out the deposit slip and seals it in a bag.

“Well…” Cloud closes the drawer. “Tifa gave me a fresh start at _Seventh Heaven_. And she really cares about this place, so…”

“Her passion seeped into you via osmosis?”

“That’s a terrible way to put it, but sure.”

Cloud crouches down into the cabinet, and is surprised when the door chimes.

“We’re closed!” Cloud calls from the floor. He goes to stand, but becomes rigid when Zack’s hand flies down to stop him. Cloud looks up at Zack’s perch on the counter, and his shoulders are straight as a board. Cloud peeks over the counter – and it’s just a kid in a face mask. He looks normal, but it takes too long for Cloud to spot the sharp lump in his hoodie. Zack sees it right away.

“I’m going to do us both a favor,” Zack says. He slowly pulls up the side of his shirt, where his holster rests. “Turn around and walk away, and I won’t say a thing.”

The kid looks between Zack and his hip. Zack nods encouragingly, and the kid turns right out the door and leaves. 

“Fuck me,” Cloud whispers. He rises from his crouch on the floor, and Zack hops off the counter to go flip the sign and lock the door.

“Post holidays,” Zack explains. “Damn kid looked so nervous, thought he was gonna’ shit his pants.”

“Tifa gives away what she can,” Cloud says, resting up against the counter to breathe away the adrenaline. “But this is all she has, you know. We’ve only been breaking even lately because business has picked up.”

“You need to be more aware,” Zack lectures, rounding the counter. Cloud dips his fingers in Zack’s beltloops and hauls him closer. That weird, squirmy feeling is back – a doubt that Cloud doesn’t want to confront just yet – so he swallows it down. 

“And what are you, my hero?”

“Cloud –”

“Thanks,” Cloud blurts, before he can lose his nerve, and leans up to kiss Zack’s cheek. “Tifa does not find out about this.”

“Oh. Agreed.”

* * *

Be it his apartment or Zack’s house, Cloud doesn’t spend many nights by himself anymore.

Zack gets knots in his back from working longer weeks at the auto shop, so it’s become a thing to sit on his thighs and rub out the sore spots. Zack says he likes when he does it because Cloud has strong hands. Cloud thinks he’d like it whether he has strong hands or not.

Cloud pumps more lotion into his hand, and works his thumb back into the spot at his shoulderblade. Zack doesn’t make any sound, but he does exhale happily through his nose.

Zack’s body is so different from his own. Cloud is more petite and defined, but Zack is full of active muscle. Not just the stuff you build at the gym – but thick and strong from constant use. He likes that Zack is squishy in a couple places. Behind it is rock solid definition.

Cloud hears a short grunt when Cloud rolls his knuckles into his traps.

“Here?”

“Yesss gorgeous,” Zack purrs. It tingles down his spine, and Cloud digs his fingers a little harder with a huff.

“You don’t have to keep calling me that.”

“Hm?”

“We’ve been dating for a while,” Cloud explains. Zack goes quiet for a moment, before he rolls to his back from under Cloud’s thighs. He then looks up at him.

“So, what? Because we’re steady I can’t find you attractive anymore?”

Cloud rolls his eyes, “That’s not what I meant.”

Zack’s large hands hold him by the knee, and soothe upwards. His eyes are full of open sincerity.

“Cloud, you are clever and talented and I could spend a thousand hours just sitting in a room with you,” Zack says. “But you are _also_ the most beautiful person I’ve ever met. I can’t lie about those kinds of things.”

And of course, the burn in Cloud’s throat comes back. He has to swallow multiple times, but the sting wont leave his eyes. He gets angry that he’s lost control of himself like this, but it feels like somethings been building in him – a hellish doubt he can’t control, and it’s pushing at the front of his mind like a dam.

“How can you just say that stuff so easily?” Cloud grits, and rubs the heel of his hand against his eyes. Zack’s face falls with concern, and he pries Cloud’s fingers away from his face.

“Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

Cloud looks at the wall and swallows. His nature is to say nothing, but Zack keeps a gentle grip on him, as if to let Cloud know he’s not going anywhere.

“How do I even say it?” Cloud exhales. He stares at the wall and mutters, “This terrifies me.”

Zack finds his hand and squeezes.

“Us?”

And that’s just it.

“A part of me is always worrying,” Cloud croaks. “That I care too much. That the honeymoon phase hasn’t ended yet. That I look like an _idiot._ ”

“Stop,” Zack snaps sternly, and Cloud jerks to look at him. “Do you really think _me?_ The one that bugged your ass every day in that coffee shop, is going to walk out on you?”

“I don’t know,” Cloud huffs. “You make my brain stupid.”

Zack starts to laugh, and the atmosphere lightens with it.

“Now you know how I feel.”

Cloud’s heart sinks and swims and just sputters about in his chest.

“Oh.”

“I get like that all the time,” Zack says. “Sometimes I feel really shitty things. I get jealous and possessive and it’s terrible.”

Cloud’s eyes widen, “What? You do?”

“Yeah, I’m a piece of shit,” Zack laughs. “But I choke it down and work past it, ‘cause I know you’re coming home with me, and not anyone else.”

“You’re not a piece of shit,” Cloud mumbles. His brain still can’t wrap his head around all this. “Who are you even jealous of?”

Zack rolls Cloud to his back and crawls up in his face, and Zack’s hair rains all around them.

“Anyone you give your wonderful attention to,” Zack grins.

“Sap,” Cloud barks, and Zack giggles like a kid.

“There he is!”

Cloud feels _years_ better. Somehow, Zack makes it so easy to speak with him about things that Cloud would never voluntarily say out loud. It makes Cloud want to be there for him, too. Maybe...they can really be in this for the long haul.

* * *

The mountains are still full of snow come spring, so they pack up their cars and carpool in caravans up to the ski resort. Renting a cabin for ten people is already enough of a shitshow, but organizing everyone to snowboard down the same slope is a waste of time.

Barret takes the bunnyhills and uses Marlene as an excuse. Zack immediately drags Cloud to the highest slope, and shoves him on the chair.

Snowboarding next to Zack is just like anything else. He’s always where Cloud expects him to be, and always has his back. They zip and ride around each other, and when Cloud passes close, he can hear Zack laugh.

Zack looks good in the snow gear. He’s a natural snowboarder, and Zack even hits some of the hills. Cloud can’t stand to be outdone, so he follows his lead and even lands most of the jumps.

Aerith and Tifa are skiing side by side like two old ladies that can’t figure out the brakes, and Tifa ends up taking a nosedive into a snowpile. Cloud can’t help it; he laughs. Tifa’s middle finger flies up out of the snow, like a daisy.” 

“You have such a twisted sense of humor,” Zack tells, slowing to a stop at the end of the hill.

Cloud plays naïve, unclipping his snow boots from his board. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

Zack scoops up snow and shoves it down the back of his suit, and Cloud almost murders him in cold blood.

“Zack and Cloud are fucking on the hill!” Jessie tattles to Biggs.

“I’m actually committing homicide,” Cloud explains flatly, his hands wrapped around the many layers of Zack’s neck, straddling his lap. “I’d appreciate it if you looked away.”

“Looked away from what?” Biggs teases. Cloud nods, and Jessie cackles as Biggs hauls her towards the ski lift.

Zack laughs, because he’s basically impenetrable through his snowsuit, and he reaches up and pulls Cloud’s goggles off his face.

“Hey, before you kill me. Could you reach into my front pocket?” Cloud gives him an unimpressed look, and Zack urges him on. “Come on, just do it!”

Cloud takes off his snow glove and sighs, shifting back to dig around Zack’s pocket. He pulls out a plastic baggy, and raises an eyebrow.

“What is this?”

“Open it!” Zack says. “And fast, my back is getting cold.”

Cloud pulls the string and…they’re earrings? They’re spiky and expensive looking, and Cloud looks at them carefully, so he doesn’t drop it in the snow.

“What is this?”

“Happy anniversary!” Zack cheers. “Do you want to move in with me?”

Cloud’s heart lodges in his throat.

_“What?”_

“Reno is moving out, and if I don’t find another roommate, I’ll probably have to move out too, and seeing as there’s an empty room…”

Cloud looks at the earrings a moment longer. Somewhere, sometime, Zack went out and shopped for him. He snowboarded all day with this dumb present in his pocket. Of all the stupid, _dramatic_ ways to ask…

Snow is sticking to Zack’s eyelashes. His cheeks are pink from the cold, and Cloud imagines his own are even more so.

Cloud carefully places the jewelry back in the baggy and pockets it.

“We won’t even use the extra room,” Cloud says.

“I know.”

* * *

Cloud sets his family of cacti on Zack’s kitchen counter. He takes a step back, looks around the living room and hums, twisting the back of his earring.

“Well then. Welcome home, I guess.”

Zack follows after him with a box in his hands, flipflops on his feet and candy in his mouth.

“Oh baby, I forgot. I have another car I want you to check out in the shop. They requested a pinup mural with a mermaid, and I think you could pull off something totally sick.”

Cloud plucks the lollipop out of Zack’s mouth and sticks it in his own. Zack looks to him with those big puppy eyes, and Cloud turns on his heel, knowing he’ll follow.

“Maybe for the right price.”

  
  


_“Hey gorgeous, will you make me some coffee?”_

_“Nope. The kitchen is closed.”_

_“But it’s only three minutes to seven!”_

_“You can unlock extended kitchen hours if you marry me.”_

_“Ohhhh okay, that was super smooth. I mean – yes, but I’m mad you beat me to it.”_

_“I had to beat you to something.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks everyone! i was gonna just have 8 chapters but i felt like this really needed an epilogue haha.
> 
> this was super fun to work on. honestly if i had the energy i could write a whole fic about the party shenanigans in a cabin lodge. maybe i will when my writing battery has recharged fhdsadfsd. 
> 
> as usual u can find me on [tumblr](https://zanimez.tumblr.com/), & i also check [twttr](https://twitter.com/zanzimez) sometimes if anyone needs to reach out to me. stay safe!


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